This will get old at some point, but today’s not the day. This likely will have escalated by the time I post it, so follow Cuban and Trump on Twitter.
I think his name is Brad Heath. That’s who it was last year, and the man I heard behind the mike on Saturday night at the Mavs’ home opener against Charlotte sounded basically the same. But there was something I didn’t notice last season: Heath (or whoever is handling P.A. duties) has a reliance on nicknames that borders on being some sort of personality disorder. Maybe I noticed it so much because O.J. Mayo had such a great game (30 points), which led Heath (or whoever is handling P.A. duties) to keep screaming, “Juice!” Which, okay, fine, Heath (or whoever is handling P.A. duties) pretty much did the same thing with Jason Terry and yelling “Jet” or “the Jet is on the runway” or whatever, and I don’t know why this is different, but it is. I guess I just find the nickname pretty unimaginative (not a big leap, exactly, but more to the point, it already belongs to O.J. Simpson for better or worse).
Anyway. Heath (or whoever is handling P.A. duties) also pretty much only calls Vince Carter “Vinsanity” which, no. No, sir. No, no, no. Can’t take it. No. “Jones checks in for Vinsanity.” NO. No way. Nuh-uh. No. Because 1) Earl Sweatshirt just dropped “feeling as hard as Vince Carter’s cartilage is” in a song and 2) seriously, dude is not doing much “half man, half amazing” things anymore. It’s like making fun of him to his face.
Heath (or whoever is handling P.A. duties) is allowed to call Shawn Marion “Matrix.” Totally fine. But he needs to mix in a Marion once or twice a game. Everyone else: last names, only. Because I swear there was a point on Saturday night when Heath (or whoever is handling P.A. duties) said Vinsanity, Matrix, and Juice in the same sentence, and I think even mixed in another nickname, and I was sitting there waiting for someone to walk on the court with a microphone to announce The Professor from the AND1 tour was checking in.
As the country prepares for four more years of socialist, Constitution-burning hedonism (or four years of economic prosperity, beautiful haircuts, and good ol’ American values) your friendly FrontBurner contributors are planning our own Election Day coverage. (Join us at the Granada, won’t you?)
I’ll be driving around the county, spending the day being all folksy and chatting up voters, while other contributors will check in with their polling station reports. We’re calling it “PollWatch 2012,” because we just remembered this morning that we should come up with a name for it, and Wick liked this one.
Anyway, if you have a suggestion of a precinct/ municipality/ American-made business I should stop by tomorrow, leave it in the comments. And follow me on Twitter all day tomorrow for witty comments probably already made somewhere else by a professional.
“Man taking a traffic survey at 600 Akard Street at Ross Avenue intersection,” 1948.
Share your own Ghosts of Dallas.

From left, Alex Threlfall, London anchor for Reuters; Mary Matalin and James Carville this morning at a Thomson Reuters conference in Grapevine.
Back in DFW again for a little last-minute prognosticating, this time in front of 1,400+ people at a Thomson Reuters tax conference in Grapevine, Mary Matalin and James Carville naturally disagreed this morning on the outcome of tomorrow’s presidential election. Republican guru Matalin said she’s confident that Mitt Romney will prevail by 3 to 7 points. But her husband, Democratic consultant Carville, said the political-betting markets like InTrade continue to have President Barack Obama winning handily.
As for tomorrow, Matalin said she’ll do some daytime TV, then party with friends from the Reagan administration “like it’s 1980.” Carville, who said he would be on CNN around 8 p.m. Eastern, advised the audience to keep an early eye on the outcomes in Virginia, Florida and, most especially, Pennsylvania. “If Obama loses Pennsylvania and you’re a Republican, have a party; it’s over. … If [Obama] loses Pennsylvania, he’s not gonna win Ohio. … But if Obama carries Pennsylvania, Virginia and Florida and loses Ohio,” Carville went on, it will be very tough for Romney to win.
Then he divulged this secret code about his Tuesday appearance on CNN: “If I pull on my ear like this,” Carville said, tugging on his left ear, all the intelligence he’s getting indicates that “Obama’s gonna win. If I pull on my [right] ear like this, Romney will win.” But if he slaps his forehead in exasperation instead, the Ragin’ Cajun concluded with a laugh, “it’s gonna be something in between.”
Yeah, probably, but no one in the organization’s going to say that. Sean Payton, the exiled head coach of the New Orleans Saints, recently had his contract voided by the NFL, opening the door to a return to Dallas. Payton served as the team’s assistant head coach from 2003 to 2005, owns a house in Southlake, and won a Super Bowl with the Saints.
Jerry, yesterday, before he was locked out of his own locker room:
“I don’t know anything about other club’s contracts, I don’t know any details. It’s just totally, not anything to do with the Cowboys or our team at all. I put those kinds of things, (they’re) beyond me,” said Cowboys owner/general manager Jerry Jones. “I don’t know what created the speculation. It has no (base) from anything we’ve heard or anything like that.”
Yahoo! columnist Dan Wetzel had other thoughts:
Garrett is now 16-16 as a head coach [he took over the Cowboys in the middle of the 2010 season]. He was a gamble then. He is no less a question mark now.
Jones, reminded of his forever optimism, recited a past comment where he said he liked the direction of the franchise.
“Well, I liked the direction when I said it,” he acknowledged. “So I’m just saying I don’t like our direction when we’re sitting here having lost [Sunday night].”
The Cowboys’ owner letting off steam in a quiet, frustrated locker room is becoming a common occurrence. The NFL may have just sprung Sean Payton into free agency at season’s end.
It’s a long shot marriage, but at some point what does Jerry Jones have to lose by asking?
If you have yet to do so, you’ll want to get tickets to Election Night Live tomorrow. Mine are sitting on my desk. I’ll be there with little non-partisan bells on, and we can all watch the results roll in together.
When you’re a screenwriting student, your professors will probably tell you to not include specific songs in your scripts, no matter how perfect or tempting, because, well, on the off chance that you want to sell the thing, certain tunes cost more than others. This did not stop me from including at least one Rolling Stones song in just about every script I ever started and either semi-finished or abandoned in a frustrated huff. Tonight, the Dallas Video Fest presents a special, one night only screening of Charlie Is My Darling, a documentary of the Rolling Stones’ 1965 tour of Ireland early in their collective career, at the Studio Movie Grill. Brian Jones is on guitar, and everyone looks so very young. The New York Times’ A.O. Scott reviewed it when it opened in New York, so you can check that out if you need more convincing.
And for the love of everything, do not eat SMG food, because this not what going to the movies is for. Try Princi Italia, a very short car ride away, or the North Park La Duni for a popover BLT and a mojito.
Jerry Jones just pounded locker room door because no one would let him in. It’s the angriest I’ve seen him all year. #Cowboys @bluestarblog
— Matt Barrie (@Matt_Barrie) November 5, 2012
#Cowboys in a nutshell: Jerry Jones had more highlights last night than his team. #letmein @bluestarblog #SNF
— Matt Barrie (@Matt_Barrie) November 5, 2012
Seriously, what was he going to do, though? Rub Romo’s shoulders and rock him to sleep?
Fox 4′s Twitter feed right now reads “Sky 4 is headed to Farmers Branch, where a worker is reportedly stuck in a trench. WATCH LIVE.” So, naturally, I heeded their advice. If you too are a sadistic voyeur, head here for the live stream.
Sure, you were probably planning on curling up on the couch under a blanket in front of the TV tomorrow evening, a three-finger bourbon in one hand, a smart phone in the other, ready to play amateur comic on your Twitter feed as you braced yourself for elation/heartbreak/apathy. But why wallow alone when you can join us at the Granada Theater for D Election Night Live, an evening featuring live music, live coverage of the election, drinks, and friends. Performances will include The Burning Hotels, AiR DeeJay of Track Meet, and DJ Paris Vidal, and it all kicks-off at 8:30 p.m. Tickets are just $5, and you can get them right here.
It’s not from Dallas, but it’s worth watching. The video is from Friday night’s Mission Sharyland- Mission Edinburg game, in the Rio Grande Valley, and it’s a fine combination of brashness/stupidity, the kind only found in teenage boys who spend their nights smashing into each other.
Sean Landez could’ve let a missed field goal sail past the end line, or he could snatch it from mid-air, almost fall out-of-bounds, then start running. He chose the latter.

“I wasn’t planning on voting for the bond program, but now I will,” said no one, ever. Source: Vote Yes Dallas
If you’re one of the whopping 117 people who have liked the Facebook page for “Vote Yes Dallas,” you’ve seen these by now. But since there are (roughly) 1,223,112 Dallas residents who haven’t liked the page, here’s the rundown.
The city hired The Reeds PRC to run its bond election marketing campaign, including its Facebook and Twitter pages. Both haven’t exactly been wild social media successes, but that’s probably due to the relatively non-controversial nature of the $600 million bond program, not poor execution.
That brings us to the photos/memes Vote Yes Dallas has been posting to its Facebook wall, including the peyote dream at the top of the page. Jump for more ridiculousness:
Texans Are Nation’s Second Biggest Source of Election Funds: Donors from the Lone Star State have contributed $61 million to the presidential campaigns this year, second only to California’s $102 million.
Are North Texans Better Off Than They Were Four Years Ago: Ahead of tomorrow’s vote, The Star-Telegram gives that election-season question a local spin and finds out, of course, it depends on who you ask.
Jerry Jones Admits He Would Have Fired Himself as Cowboys GM: Jerry Jones tells Bob Costas he would have fired himself as general manager of the Dallas Cowboys had he not actually had been, well, the general manager. But since Jerry Jones is Jerry Jones, he can’t fire himself, he can only look himself in the mirror, straighten himself out, and try again. And you wonder why the Cowboys lost again.
Watch Plane Clip a SUV During Botched Landing: William Davis, the pilot who flew a Cesina Skyhawk through a passing SUV, says he’ll probably quit flying after this incident. Can’t say I blame him.