I was skimming through this Morning News story this afternoon (a really fun, quick-hit crime story involving a fire extinguisher, and great mugshot) when I stumbled upon this line:
“Not knowing if arrestee had any saliva borne diseases [the officer] was forced to take ahold of arrestee’s head and secure it against the blacktop,” the report says.
Rewritten:
“I wasn’t sure if this lunatic was gonna bite me, so I had to grab his head and slam it to the pavement,” the report says.
See? How much more fun (and accurate) is that?
3 comments
Let me take a stab…
“I was concerned the suspect was a Zombie and took every precaution to prevent a Zombie apocalypse. “
Good! So you have been around the cop shot before.
Good piece, Bradford, and welcome to the word riot.
Adjudging him a filthy cur, I briskly applied pavement to upside of suspect’s head.