7 Rides That Won’t Make You Puke at the State Fair of Texas

photography by Desiree Espada
Must be Liz's height to ride.

I’m a pansy. There. I said it. Rides that makes thrill seekers jump up and down with excitement make me break out in hives. And that’s just from looking at them. Put me on one, and I’ll have a full blown panic attack. I like a little butterfly-in-the-tummy action, like the drop on a wooden roller coaster, but too much more, and it’s a bad situation. So, if you are like me, and you want to keep your fried food down, here’s a list of the best wuss-friendly (tested and approved) rides at the State Fair of Texas.

 

With the exception of the ferris wheel and the Texas Skyway, each ride is 10 tickets. I recommend you go on a Tuesday, when rides are half-price. Most of these are found in the Midway.


1. It’s a whopping 14 tickets per person, but taking a round on the legendary Texas Star Ferris Wheel is an obligatory State Fair activity. Plus, with its cages walls and metal flooring, it’s not scary. Unless you have a fear of heights, which is another matter.


2. The Scary Park ride probably hasn’t been updated since the 80s, but that contributes to its beauty. A rickety cart takes you through a pitch black space full of wooden doors, retro blinking lights, and fog machines. Watch out. You’ll probably encounter half-costumed staffers that may or may not hold up a mask in an attempt to scare you.


3. The Alpine Bobs, Love Bugs, Sleigh Rides, and Beetle Bobs rides are all variations of the same thing. You sit in cars in cute shapes, which make circles around the centerpiece. Fortunately these rides are short, so you can enjoy them without making enough rounds to lose your lunch.


4. The Log Flume ride is a poor man’s Splash Mountain. Your log will slowly course around a narrow river decorated with mushrooms and tree stumps with faces. The grand finale includes entering a cave, heading up an incline ramp, and being sent splashing down the hill. Don’t worry, you’ll only get hit with a few drops.


5. The Zilerator is a short roller coast ride without spins, upsidedownies, or really, even much speed. The fear factor here is that the car may fly off the railing at any point, and there are a couple good drops.


6. Fast Track is a more impressive carnival type ride. Grab a mat, head to the tippy top, and slip your way down the bumpy slides.


7. If all of these rides still fit a phobia of yours, Texas Skyway is a good alternative. It’s won’t be familiar scenery if you’re used to ski trip gondola rides, but you can scope out the entire State Fair and get across to the other side without breaking a sweat. Plus, as a coworker pointed out, it’s handicap accessible.

State Fair of Texas rides

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