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Win Free State Fair and Chinese Lantern Tickets

If you were to come to the D Magazine offices, and if you needed to void your bladder, and if you are a man, then this is the sight that would greet you in our downstairs bathroom. The bull shark that once used those choppers was caught by Bernie Kraft, a really cool guy who used to work here and was killed by cancer at far too young an age. That’s how we remember him, with a shark jaw above the urinal (and with a conference room and a biannual employee performance award named after him).

So then. Best caption wins four tickets to the State Fair and four passes to the Chinese Lantern Festival, which I hear is pretty cool. That’s $120 worth of tickets (Fair is $16, Lantern is $14). Contest ends at noon on Monday. Winner can either pick up the tickets at our downtown office, or I can mail them. But remember: the Fair ends October 21.

  • Erica Salas

    In memory of Bernie Kraft, a great shark in the magazine business. Piss your respects and flush.

  • Bruce Kincaid

    ……. and I thought I had heard every wild fishing story

  • clark

    Honey I SWEAR I was at the office ALL DAY

    honestly though I think that Gabe wins

  • Natalie

    Use your worms wisely

  • Jeremy K

    Bathroom Procedures: Look down for number one. Look up for number two.

  • Nathan

    You thought this was bad… I would avoid the stall

  • Le

    … And that, kids, was how I got bit in the head by a shark

  • clark

    worst handjob ever

  • Ann L.

    “Ehh…. the sashimi wasn’t that fresh… D magazine recommend a great place down the street….”

  • Jordan

    Shy Bladder: Solved

  • Tim Rogers

    Some pretty good submissions, folks (and some really bad ones). Our winner, by unanimous vote, is Chris Dinsmore: “That gives new meaning to the phrase Potty Mouth.” We’ll have some more tickets to give away this week. Stay tuned.

  • Chris Kraft

    I love that you are keeping the memory of my uncle Bernie alive…. employee recognition awards, urinal decorations, etc. He was a great man! Thank You!

    My suggested caption “Urine my way!”

  • Tim Rogers

    @Chris Kraft: THAT is a good caption. Well done!

  • Kimberly Kraft-Casey

    WOW……only Bernie Kraft could keep his bull shark around for years! Could it be because he always was full of BS….oh sorry I mean Bull Shark! Miss him every day! He was a one wonderful man and one amazing loving father!!! Love and miss you daddy, Kimberly

  • Tuan N.

    Why couldn’t they just throw my ashes in the ocean, Bernie?!?!