Tollway Authority To Start Towing Scofflaws’ Cars. Maybe. Defense attorneys think they can’t and the DPS isn’t saying if they will or won’t. The good news is this leaves open the possibility for the NTTA to form its own militia and secede from the Union, as was prophesied in the comic book/auto parts catalog I’ve been leaving at doctor’s offices for the past three years. It’s called The Matrix.
Richardson Deals With Giant Beehive. It belongs to Doris Feffernack, who’s been wearing the hairstyle proudly since 1957. OK, that is true, but there is also a real beehive as big as a 9-year-old girl and as moody as a 16-year-old girl, and as irritating as Tim Rogers, a 42-year-old girl.
Dallas Police Reorganization Adds 50 New Sergeants, Creates Rank of Major. The first person promoted to the new rank? This will sound weird, but it’s actually former Morning News TV critic Ed Bark, thanks to his heavy-handed policing of anyone who tries to post on the internet any TV news without mentioning his site. (Link is sub. req.)
Next Year, DMA Will Recreate Art JFK Saw Before His Death. This is actually pretty interesting, so I’ll save the jokes. Since I have some space: if you learned juggling was going to become an official Olympic sport in 2016, would that make you more or less likely to grow a mustache?