Ever use a spray bottle to squirt a bad kitty with water? Watch Emily Jones, the Fox Sports Southwest reporter, do it to Elvis Andrus. Pretty funny.
Several folks on Twitter and in the comments on this blog have requested that I “finish strong” and “not go out with a whimper.” In other words, they want one last tuxedo stunt.
Listen, here’s your last stunt: the AC at my house is broken. Went kaput this morning. I just returned to work from my house, where I met my HVAC guy. He informed me that I need a new motor and blower drum. Well, actually, what I need is a new furnace and coil, but since I’d have to mow about 40 lawns to pay for that, we’re just going with the motor and blower drum. That can’t happen until tomorrow. So this evening I’ll be sitting around in an unairconditioned house, drinking Patron XO Cafe, wearing a tuxedo. Are you happy? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? Damn jackals.
Two days ago, Zac posed a question. “How much money would it take,” he asked, “to keep you in a tuxedo till the end of the year?” Knowing that Zac is a man capable of making stuff happen, I had to give his query careful consideration. You know about my HVAC needs. Some extra cash would certainly come in handy. But four more months? I don’t think I have it in me. I mean, there’s a figure that would force me to try. Just call it $1 million. Obviously if a million bucks is on the table, I’m doing whatever it takes. But a figure in the realm of possibility? I don’t know. I would have a hard time turning down, say, $15,000.
Ultimately I told Zac I wasn’t interested. I’ve already planned my outfit for tomorrow. By rule, the tux can come off as soon as I can get to the Old Monk after work. There I will don shorts and the softest t-shirt I own. And, having totally destroyed the Great Tuxedo Challenge of 2012, I will accept the hearty congratulations of my friends and co-workers. That is, if I can make it through tonight.
Everyone knows Rick Perry wasn’t chosen to speak at the Republican National Convention. What this post presupposes is … maybe he was.
So, confidence in public education has never been lower. It seems like every school is strapped for cash–or in the process of closing–and every teacher I know complains that the job would be so much better and more effective if they didn’t have to “teach to the test.” We like to think the victims in all this are the kids deprived of a quality education, as if those kids won’t someday grow up to make our entire society less intelligent, less capable, less innovative, and more vulnerable to terrible ideas and terrible politicians.
Well, Michael Brick, a journalist who graduated from R.L. Turner, has a new book out on the topic.Â I met Brick at the Mayborn conference a few years ago, where he had an incredible story about theÂ murder of a pot dealer. He’s also written for theÂ New York Times andÂ Sports Illustrated. And he’s a regular onÂ Gangrey, a journalism site I’ve been known to visit.Â ForÂ Saving the School, Brick followed a principal, several students, and several teachers at a once-great high school in Austin, as they struggled to keep their school–and in many ways their entire community–afloat.
You know it’ll be big, because Oprah calls it a “must read.” The Washington Post calls it “a compelling, enlightening account of a school community rising to save itself in the unforgiving, data-driven, often nonsensical world bequeathed to public education by No Child Left Behind.” Really, it could change the way this country thinks about–and talks about–public education and investing in our own future.
Over the last few days, I had a fun little email exchange with Brick about the book.
Me: Okay, we’ll get to that whole education thing later. First, I have to ask:Â How many times did you watch movies like Lean on Me–or Stand and Deliver or Dangerous Minds, or the wholly under-appreciated Summer School–while working on this? And if this book one day becomes a movie, and there’s a reporter character based on you (there’s no first person in the book, but Hollywood loves to tinker), who would you want to play you?
Shelly Ann Klein, one of this week’s 10 Most Beautiful contestants, reports that a company that works with the Discovery Channel has expressed interest in creating a local reality TV series (along the lines of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy) around her gang of eco-friendly, health consciousÂ local ladies, dubbed The Healthy Housewives. You can see Shelly delivering one of her tips for better living in the video above.
That makes two of our 10 Most Beautiful nominees who have a shot at TV stardom.
Even bigger news: we just discovered Klein was in this Aerosmith video when she was 23 years old. Take the jump and look around the 1:40 mark.
What the three-judge panel wrote todayÂ in rejecting the state’s requirement that all Texas voters have to bring a form of government-issued identification in order to cast a ballot:
Everything Texas has submitted as affirmative evidence is unpersuasive, invalid, or both. Moreover, uncontested record evidence conclusively shows that the implicit costs of obtaining SB 14-qualifying ID will fall most heavily on the poor and that a disproportionately high percentage of African Americans and Hispanics in Texas live in poverty. We therefore conclude that SB 14 is likely to lead to “retrogression in the position of racial minorities with respect to their effective exercise of the electoral franchise.”
The state attorney general already says he’ll appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court. Â Here’s the fun fact that makes it difficult to argue that this law won’t unfairly impact the poor:
About 80 Texas counties have no DPS driver’s license office, which could make it difficult for Texans without a driver’s license to get a Voter ID card. Low income neighborhoods in metro areas also have few DPS offices.
So nearly a third of the state’s counties don’t have a place where voters could obtain this ID? How can we then reasonably expect all eligible voters to fulfill this requirement? Passports are expensive.
The Texas SkyScreamer will supplant the soon-to-be-departing Flashback and Texas Chute-out. It’s apparently going to beÂ twice the size of the version (depicted above) they opened this year at Six Flags Fiesta Texas.
I have a strained relationship with my cats. They’re fickle and cranky, but I feel sort of obligated to tolerate them since they’re my pets and have been for a long time. My sweet, fluffy golden retriever, though. He’s easy to love.
And Samwise Gamgee Johnstone deserves some fun. (By the way,Â there are only 106 days until The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. I actually knew that off the top of my head, and only Googled afterward to check myself. I am that good. Or that much of a dork, whichever.) Anyway, tonight’s food truck event in Heritage Park includes dogs right on the invite, so you don’t have to leave furry friends at home. Dining options include Four Seasons (a new option), Good Karma Kitchen (gluten free, veggie, vegan, yay), Coolhaus Ice Cream, Nammi, and The Belgian Waffle Truck. The Belgian waffle truck is new in town, too, but I remember how obsessively people tracked Wafels & Dinges in New York. Newspaper deadlines? Who cared. There were waffles two blocks and an avenue away.
The trees will provide shade, but there’s also the option to eat inside a few of the air conditioned buildings. And if everyone does their part, there will be puppies. Lots of cute puppies.
No puppies for you? A new month-long series exploring the history of video art called Four Nights Four Decades kicks off this evening with the program “Building a Better Machine: Moving Image Works From the 1970s” at The Power Station. Organizer Michael Morris, an adjunct professor at UNT, UTA, and others, screens his selection of hard-to-find works by Paul Sharits, Owen Land, Tony Conrad, and more. The films are all projection from their original 16 mm format. FrontRow has an interview with The Power Station’s Danielle Avram Morgan about how the series came together.
For more to do tonight, go here.
Nobody tell my mother, OK? Â She already thinks I get mugged two or three times a week because I work in big, bad downtown Dallas. From the DMN:
Dallas police this morning arrested a Richardson man walking through downtown with a loaded AK-47.
Johnson Nguyen, 21, was taken into custody shortly after 3 a.m. when witnesses called police saying that he was pointing the assault rifle into the air near Field and Main streets.
Rick Perry “Most Likely” To Seek Another Term As Governor. “Unless the good Lord’s got Â a different plan” for him. He told this to an Asian reporter with a comically tiny microphone, then high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air. (Yes, I know it’s different when I just type it and don’t string together a dozen photos from Google Images.)
Frisco Tanning Salon Owner Arrested For Peeping. Two girls, ages 16 and 19, complained to police that Justin Bracken was spying on them while they were naked at his Celebrity Tan and Boutique. Then Bracken allegedly high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air. (I’m sorry. That was insensitive. I’m sleep-deprived. Call 972-292-6200 if you know of any other potential victims in the case.)
Prime Prep To Play First Football Game On Friday. Maybe. Or Maybe Not. Or Possibly. Or Perhaps Not. But They Might. Unless They Don’t. If they do, it will be against Parish Episcopal. If they don’t, they’re going to have a lock-in and tell ghost stories, founder Deion Sanders said. Then he high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air. (Comedy rule of three. I had to.)