Like anyone remotely connected with a media outlet, yesterday I was sent an email by the PR team for Papa John’s pizza. The email contained a link to the chain’s new commercial (seen above), featuring a rapping Jerry Jones. I struggled with whether to post it here on FB Nation and ultimately decided I didn’t want to just promote a commercial that is not nearly as entertaining as it would like to be.
But then I got to thinking about some other news from yesterday, that Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant is apparently subject toÂ a set of behavioral rules imposed by the team. (Though Jones says there aren’t any special rules.) Bryant apparently now has a midnight curfew, can’t go to strip clubs, etc.
That information, and Jerry’s latest pizza-pushing, got me thinking that it might be time for us, the Dallas-Fort Worth public, to impose some special rules of our own upon the Dallas Cowboys owner:
- Is there anything sadder than an abandoned Twitter account? Let it die.
- We know that the NFL has a deal with Pepsi, and that Papa John’s serves Pepsi products, but Coca-Cola is so vastly superior to Pepsi that you make a mockery of yourself and your team every time you’re seen promoting it. Stop.
- Just sell Ari Gold a team already.
- Act your age.
- Button up.
- No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service.
- Stay away from Dancing With the Stars.
- Speak only in metaphors. We enjoy them.