1) I know, in context, Winning is not actually the mascot, like the Prime Prep Winning, so much as it is more along the lines of the school will have no mascot at all. But I prefer to think it IS Prime Prep Winning, because …
2) Then it makes me think their uniforms would look something like this, which makes me laugh not because I think that particular meme is still funny, but just because imagining them coming up with that kind of blows my mind — like, just a flurry of texts with so much “lol” and “smdh” and everything.
Antony van Leeuwenhoek called them “wee beasties.” Using microscopes he himself built, the Dutchman was the first to discover bacteria and all manner of other teeny tiny organisms. It is surely one of Van Leeuwenhoek’s discoveries that is right now wreaking havoc in the lower reaches of my gastrointestinal tract. Confined to my house, I’m in the third day of a battle whose outcome remains far from certain. Decorum prevents me from sharing too many details, but I will tell you that great fecal geysers erupt from my bottom with the force and regularity of Old Faithful. I must hold tight to the toilet bowl during these outburts lest I be rocketed into the bathroom ceiling and knocked unconscious. Wait. Have I shared too much?
Per Rule 6.2, I am removing my jacket each time I visit the head. But the ship’s log will note that I am otherwise sailing these seas fully dressed. Thus concludes my report. You’ll understand if I don’t provide a photograph.
If anyone’s looking to get me an absurdly unrealistic birthday present (that special day is only…two months away), there’s this insanely beautiful Leica+HermÃ¨s camera. It’s only $50,000.
Actually, I’d be happy with any Leica. Dallas photographer Leonard Volk’s first really nice camera was a IIIc. After retiring from the field of architecture, he took up photography full-time. Volk now has a book out, called everyday, and Samuel Lynne Gallery will exhibit selections from this collection of more than 60 years of personal photographs. What’s really nice, though, is that the exhibition and book signing tonight benefit the Dallas Children’s Theater. There’s a lot more going on than the traditional complimentary beer and wine. Drop by to find a raffle (the big prize is a trip for two to my other favorite city, New York), Champagne, cocktails (mixed by Eddie Campbell), and treats from Society Bakery. Tonight’s reception is free, unless you decide you want to make a gift to the Dallas Children’s Theater.
For more to do tonight, go here.
Really good story here at Grantland by Jonathan Abrams.
Why is it that, even when paying Dallas a compliment (as with Foreign Policy ranking the city as the 23rd most dynamic in the world, expected to be among the most important places on the globe in 2025), magazines can’t resist falling back on the old-standbys:
The capital of big hair and big oil, sports-crazed Dallas holds the distinction of being the only U.S. city to have hosted the World Series, the NBA finals, and the Super Bowl in the same year. Jerry Jones, the megalomaniacal owner of the Dallas Cowboys, has left an indelible mark on the city, constructing a $1.15 billion stadium for America’s Team that serves as a landmark to American bigness. The site of the first Neiman Marcus department store, Dallas has also proved itself to be an economic dynamo, cradling a booming energy industry and a slew of tech companies that led the city to be known during the 1980s as the “Silicon Prairie.” Still, to many people around the world, Dallas may be best known for the schmaltzy 1980s soap opera — in addition to the unimaginative 2012 remake — that unfathomably became a global hit at the height of the Cold War.
To add insult to injury, Dallas finished one spot behind Houston. Shouldn’t be surprised, I suppose, since Houston is the coolest city in the U.S. Otherwise, Dallas is the fourth American city on the list, trailing only Houston, New York, and Los Angeles.
Read the whole ranking , and you may find yourself feeling a need to learn to speak Chinese.
Aerial Mosquito Spraying Could Begin Thursday. The way things are looking (paywall), we will begin Thursday night using airplanes to spray poison on everything. Approximately 2.4 million people live in Dallas County. Ten have died from West Nile. Just two numbers to bear in mind before we begin using airplanes to spray poison on everything.
The Worst Flight Attendant Ever. Deadspin makes an NSFW request of all flight attendants: please quit with the schtick. The reason? This amazing pre-flight announcement made by an American Airlines attendant.
Boy Too Big To Play Football. A 12-year-old Mesquite boy has been told he’s too big to play football. When you read the boy’s age, what size popped into your head? Did you think he’d be 6 feet tall and weigh 300 pounds?