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Best of Big D 2012: The Incredibly Unhelpful (Yet Strangely Insightful) Readers’ Choices

For our Best of Big D issue this month, we once again opened up online voting for the readers’ pick in each item. Readers could vote on a number of finalists chosen by the editors, or they could write in their own suggestion for a winner. (See the entire list of Readers’ Choice winners here.) Tens of thousands of votes were cast. Many of the write-ins were actually quite helpful, leading the editors to research places they otherwise might never have discovered. But some of the write-ins were much less than helpful. What follows is a selection of the worst write-in votes we received this year.

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Who is the best local politician?

  • That’s an oxymoron.
  • My dog Spot
  • None of the above
  • No such thing
  • Politicians are vile scum of the earth.
  • Your mom
  • No such thing as a good politician. Same question as what is your favorite cancer?
  • Don’t know enough to vote
  • David Knuckle
  • Chuck Norris
  • William Murderface



Who is the best athlete in Dallas?

  • Who cares? I thought this was the culture section.
  • Dr. Nathan Dodge
  • I don’t really care about sports.
  • Are there no female athletes in Dallas?
  • Texas Ballet Theater dancers!
  • Heard Museum
  • Bigfoot
  • Poop



Which is the best local sports team?

  • The Boston Red Sox, when they play in Texas
  • San Antonio Spurs
  • Philadelphia Eagles
  • Dallas International Film
  • Festival
  • Poop



What’s the best theater company in Dallas?

  • Don’t know
  • Meh
  • Uhh, I don’t go to the theater.
  • Your mom
  • AMC
  • My living room with my 52-inch big screen
  • Poop McGee
  • What’s the best art
  • gallery?
  • They’re all so gorgeous!
  • None
  • Don’t know enough to vote
  • Ugh
  • Your mom
  • Anatole Hotel



What’s the best dance company?

  • Silver City
  • Don’t dance
  • Which is the best day spa
  • in Dallas?
  • I don’t spa.
  • Your mom’s house



Which gives the best facial in Dallas?

  • Really?
  • The Glory Hole
  • Justin



Where’s the best place for a blowout?

  • Lee Harvey’s
  • I-75



Who is the best children’s entertainer?

  • Television



Who makes the best burger in Dallas?

  • India Palace
  • Chili’s Bar & Grill
  • Burger King
  • Sonic drive-in
  • El Fenix
  • Palomino Bar, Bay View, Wisconsin
  • Don’t go to Dallas often
  • TJ’s Fish Market



What is the best pizza place?

  • Domino’s
  • Pizza Hut (Roanoak, TX)
  • Olive Garden
  • Cici’s
  • El Fenix



What is the best Chinese restaurant?

  • Oh, my God. You people are idiots! Royal Sichuan in Richardson is hands-down the most authentic Chinese cuisine in Texas! If you need a new food critic, email me at [redacted].
  • PF Changs
  • Gross
  • Cindi’s New York Deli
  • There are not any good Chinese restaurants in Dallas!



What is the best barbecue joint?

  • Dallas BBQ sucks!
  • Outback
  • Rockfish



What is the best coffeehouse?

  • Starbucks, Addison Walk
  • 7-Eleven
  • Denny’s
  • Not big on coffee drinking
  • Any Starbucks
  • Quik Trip
  • Do not drink coffee.
  • Rockfish



What is the best French restaurant in Dallas?

  • Three Forks
  • My knowledge is limited La Madelline.
  • la madeleines
  • La Madaline
  • Le Madeline
  • LaMadeline’s
  • La Madelaine
  • Rockfish



What is the best Indian restaurant?

  • None
  • No such thing
  • Sick
  • Don’t eat Indian
  • Taste of Italy, Garland
  • Choctaw Cassino on Hwy 75
  • Rockfish



What is the best home accessories store?

  • Zeus Comics and Collectibles
  • Knick Knacks Antique Mall
  • Target
  • IKEA
  • The Korean stores over on Harry Hines and Royal



Where’s the best place to buy jeans in Dallas?

  • Sears
  • Kohls
  • J.C. Penney
  • Walmart
  • Goodwill



What is the best lingerie shop?

  • Condoms to Go
  • Walmart
  • Goodwill



What’s the best lounge in Dallas?

  • They’re all gross.
  • Club Douche
  • The lounge in my pants



What’s the best gay bar in Dallas?

  • Back Door, if that’s a bar
  • Uhhhmmmm, no
  • I’m not gay. So I don’t know.

A version of this article also appears in the August 2012 issue of D Magazine.

5 comments on “Best of Big D 2012: The Incredibly Unhelpful (Yet Strangely Insightful) Readers’ Choices

  1. Although there were a lot of questionable responses on that list, I think I’m most perturbed by the responses to the best lingerie shop question…Goodwill? Seriously? Because nothing says “sexy-time” like granny’s used & then discarded nightgowns…

  2. Whoever listed William Murderface as the best politician is awesome. We need to be best friends.

  3. Poop and your mom really started losing steam after Best Dance Company.

    Was it Jerry Jones that submitted “The Glory Hole” for best facial?

    Finally, did you hire the Chinese food critic?