Paul Dyer Should Be Fired

Paul Dyer is the director of the Dallas Park and Recreation Department. In a statement released by the Arboretum, he said:

“More and more people are using and visiting White Rock Lake and currently, there is inadequate parking. People visiting the lake and attending the many runs and ball games often turn to dangerous and illegal parking. Further, grass that’s left unmowed is a fire hazard and threatens homes in the area.”

People come to the lake because it’s pretty, not because the parking is plentiful. Also, by his logic, we should cut down all the trees. They, too, are a fire hazard.

I am amazed that this man has the job he does.

Winfrey Point’s Glamour Shot

Photo by Justin Terveen

As Peter mentioned earlier this week, it has been proposed that we build 400 parking spots at Winfrey Point. One of my favorite photographers, Justin Terveen, was having problems sleeping last night. So he headed out to White Rock Lake to capture the area with light from the full moon. This shot is Winfrey Point. Now imagine it as a parking garage.

UPDATE: As Wilonsky reports, an agreement has been reached and Winfrey Point will be mowed to allow for temporary parking.

Here’s What I Meant To Say at the National Magazine Awards

Yeah, so last night I won a National Magazine Award. My acceptance speech went a little off the rails. I honestly cannot remember exactly what I said. Not because I was drunk. Just because it’s not every day that Brian Williams hands you a goofy-looking trophy and then expects you to make remarks in front of Graydon Carter’s hair. I was a little overwhelmed. So, for the record, here’s the speech I wrote on my phone on the flight out to New York:

If you ask any guy who writes, especially a guy who tries to write funny, if he’s honest, he’ll tell you he does it to get laid. Make a girl laugh, and you’re halfway there.

In 1996, I proposed in print to a girl named Christine Penote. It was a pretty funny proposal. Anyway, it worked. We’ve been married coming up on 16 years. The beautiful Mrs. Rogers is here tonight.

But 16 years of marriage means she no longer reads my stuff. Kids, busy jobs, Facebook. Whatever. She’s got good excuses. That’s how it goes. So I knew that to get her attention I’d have to do something big. Grand.

With this award, and probably a fair amount of red wine, I just might get lucky tonight.