Sarah Hepola is a good woman and an even better writer. She describes how she reacted recently when she caught a man masturbating at the Barnes & Noble on Northwest Highway. Her account is funny — and very disturbing.
28 comments
A source who lives in my home had a similar encounter at the same Barnes & Noble recently. A store staff member led her to believe that it’s a recurring problem for bookstores.
@ 1:26 pm on January 10, 2012
In fairness, on one of my first ever visits to New York, I saw a guy masturbating in a doorway. And I’ve been to that Barnes & Noble many times and never once saw a masturbator. I think our poor girl just had bad timing. But a terrific flair for words, so she wins!
@ 1:34 pm on January 10, 2012
What do you guys want from me??? Gosh! All I can say is….DANIELLE STEEL, for christ sakes! And the kleenexes aren’t for my tears.
@ 1:40 pm on January 10, 2012
To J.H., the store employee should have told your source it was a problem for THAT bookstore. I wonder if he will return there since he’s been caught, or if he will seek out a new book store where there is likely to be just as few circulating employees, no security, & a quiet atmosphere a victim is reluctant to shatter?
Since he is performing publicly for his victims, are his sex crimes going to become more dangerous?
@ 1:48 pm on January 10, 2012
Thanks a lot, bin Laden.
@ 1:48 pm on January 10, 2012
Once I was eating at a window seat at the IHOP in Denton when a man pulled up in his car and — well. To say I couldn’t describe him would be inaccurate, but I certainly don’t know if he had a moustache or a leather jacket (I’m guessing yes). My reaction was to be entirely unflustered, literally not even to blink. (I was on a no-blinking kick already, so it’s true I had an advantage.) I focused really, really intently on my bacon and my lousy cup of coffee*. I simply refused to register this intrusion on my placidity, on decency itself, on the moral hygiene of homo sapiens and on the fragile illusion that we trump apes somehow, and it went away. I guess it — he — had finished.
___________________________________________________
* Later I would wonder why I hadn’t cried out, Oh haw haw: Look! Look, look out of the window! O look at the wankerfolk sitting in his car!
@ 1:48 pm on January 10, 2012
One more comment for victims of this crime in a public place: Yell ”Thief! Stop, Thief!” Like the scenario of attempted rape & yelling ” Fire”!
Tell the management & the police ASAP, remembering as many details of his face & build as you can if he gets away.
@ 1:55 pm on January 10, 2012
That’s a very sticky situation for Barnes & Noble. Maybe they should have the book store equivalent of hall monitors making sure that dudes like that aren’t doing that.
@ 1:59 pm on January 10, 2012
Fun with line breaks: When I first saw the headline I wondered “what’s a noble masturbator?” As opposed to, say, an ignoble or, perhaps, common masturbator?
@ 2:02 pm on January 10, 2012
Mary W., I had no details which would prove to be — what I mean is, when you say “remember his build,” I don’t think you mean … sheesh, there’s just no way to say this delicately: Judging from his pecker, I’d say he was 55.
@ 2:08 pm on January 10, 2012
Am I the only one who was disturbed by Ms. Hepola’s flippant remark about going to Barnes & Noble to read a book but not buy it? Last I checked, Barnes & Noble is not a library. How is that not piracy of some sort? That’s the kind of behavior that, among other factors, is putting bookstores out of business.
@ 2:37 pm on January 10, 2012
Dude in a low rider, driving north from Northwest Highway on Preston. I slowed down, he buffed a few curbs.
@ 2:41 pm on January 10, 2012
RAB, i kindof had the same thought
@ 2:49 pm on January 10, 2012
I had to hang out at the B&N in Plano for over an hour last month, killing time while my daughter was with a tutor at the Starbucks. Three separate times I was in an aisle that was empty except for me and suddenly a guy would be uncomfortably close to me. So I would move away and then 20 minutes later it happened again. Different guy each time. I thought this must be a popular place to meet women (or men) and since I’m not in the market I moved to the busier part of the store, magazines, for the remainder of my wait. I’m not saying these guys had their junk out but I got enough of a weird vibe from them to know to move along.
@ 3:11 pm on January 10, 2012
B&N should check their video surveillance to get photos of this guy… this kind of behavior could escalate into something more problematic eventually. Nothing that Sarah did caused this incident – this person has a problem that needs to be addressed with professional intervention / criminal justice system proceedings.
Thanks frontburner for posting and maybe all of us can be on the look out for similar activity. Justice, crowd-sourced? but not mob style (even if perhaps deserved by this guy)
@ 3:44 pm on January 10, 2012
What a freak. He should be home masterbating to Amazon.com like the rest of us
@ 4:30 pm on January 10, 2012
This kind of stuff happens at bookstores all the time. You ought to check out the Paris, on Harry Hines, or New Fine Arts, on Mockingbird.
@ 5:07 pm on January 10, 2012
RAB/bluebird: It’s actually not a flippant comment. Wait, yes it was. But it’s an important bit of context that was used purposefully. My behavior is not without consequences for Barnes & Noble, and I realize that. But it’s also what differentiates that store from Amazon, where I cannot effectively do the same thing. Whether it is right or wrong, reading a book you have no intention of buying is not an uncommon thing to do at B&N. The chain built their business on the idea that going to a big box bookstore was a communal and edifying experience; they built cafes and hauled in comfy sofas and encouraged readers to come browse. If they want to compete with Amazon, they need to continue making the argument that GOING to a bookstore is a worthwhile activity, and I would make the argument that even if I WENT there to read a book and never buy it, I would have eventually plunked down $14 for the Gloria Steinem book because I couldn’t finish it in one sitting. As it was, I shelved it in the wrong place while my heart was pounding. Anyway, I’m glad you brought up that point, and please excoriate me for it should you feel the need to do so. But it was a piece of the scene as I was trying to create it (exhausted, at midnight last night).
@ 6:11 pm on January 10, 2012
This reminds me when many years ago I went to a movie at the old Highland Park Theatre. Not the fancy place it is now, but the old days. I was sitting in a nearly empty theatre and a man came and sat one seat away from me. I thought that was odd, given that the theatre was almost empty.
Then it happened! I started screaming and he ran out of the theatre. I started to chase him, but before I got out of the front door I yelled at the old lady at the ticket booth to call the police. I chased him through Highland Park Village yelling like I was crazy—I put my head in at the Ralph Lauren store and yelled again to call the police.
When I ran out of the store to keep following the pervy loser, he literally walked into the HIghland Park Police.
I finally had stopped screaming.
@ 6:13 pm on January 10, 2012
Unlike Sarah, I did not say, “dude.” Instead, I said nothing and reported it to the B&N staff. I’m pretty sure my dude saw me notice what he was doing, so I casually walked away and took the escalator down to the first level (I couldn’t find anyone fast enough on the second level).
Like Sarah, my heart was a high pitter patter. As I was on the escalator approaching the first level, I glanced upward and there he was, hanging over the railing to see if I was going to stop at that customer service kiosk between the escalators. As if I was injected into an episode of Law & Order: SVU, I hightailed it to the music department because it is underneath the second level, hidden from his view. I fooled him, I told myself. I reported the incident to the B&N staffer, and he called his manager. And as Jason mentioned above, he indicated this happens often.
I remember leaving the store feeling dirty. And later annoyed. Why should I be the one who feels dirty? And why should I have had to see that? Perhaps B&N should upgrade its handling of this sort of thing, if it does happen as often as I was led to believe.
Oh, and instead of the women’s studies section, this guy was standing by the cookbooks, with his eye on three teenage girls.
@ 7:15 pm on January 10, 2012
Dear Ms. Hepola:
I see through (and you knew I would, but perhaps vainly hoped I wouldn’t) your half-apology — and your straw-man “please excoriate me for it should you feel the need to do so” only made it worse. (FYI, I don’t “feel the need” to do anything, thank you.)
The production of creative content and the need to monetize it in some fashion (at the risk of squelching its creation in the future) is a serious problem in this day and age. My guess is, you earn your livelihood by the production and monetization of creative content — so you, of all people, should be ashamed.
Try this: “I was wrong. I’m better than this, and I’m going to do better than this next time.”
Buy the book.
@ 9:42 pm on January 10, 2012
To some extent, I think B&N invites the reading of books and magazines in their store. I imagine most of the people who do it are often loyal customers who do buy books when they deem a book worthy. But, I can’t help but cringe for all the books that end up having to be discarded because of torn jackets and coffee stains.
I really don’t mind what Sarah did. But I do mind the people that drink the Starbucks coffee while reading magazines that they later just leave behind to be reshelved. If they can afford their latte, they could spend a mere $ 4 on a magazine.
@ 1:03 am on January 11, 2012
So what do you think,that this guy/or many guys/need some attention?is that what they REALLY want?If so I’d say give them their 5 minutes of fame and call anyone that is in the are over to watch…and say it loudly so he get the audience he/they/really want…do you think that would work?
@ 7:02 am on January 11, 2012
J Bennett: I think it’s a sexual perversion, pure and simple. His thrill is to see what he could get away with. I was baffled at the time by the fact that he chose a crowded Barnes & Noble, but I think that was what got his crank going, to use a coarse term.
Mary W: AMEN. My only real regret in this whole story is that I did not make a police report, but I plan to do so today.
Elena34 and other women who have shared similar stories: Thanks.
RAB: I don’t buy your half-excoriation with a twist of condescension. Then again, I was only browsing.
@ 10:04 am on January 11, 2012
1. Kick the perv square in the jewels and call the police while he is disabled. This is exactly the kind of person who is capable of much worse should he encounter a victim in a more vulnerable situation.
2. If you feel you are being threatened or violated (especially in a public place) confront the culprit head-on. This is no time to be passive-aggressive. This would not have been nearly as conflicted of a story had Sarah shouted, “Oh my God, there is a duuuude in the Women’s Studies section wanking on his junk! Can I get a little help over here?!?” Hell, Mace the SOB if you have some.
3. Then again, maybe this was just a misguided effort on the wanker’s part to prepare for his audition for the role of The Rum Tum Tugger in the Citizens’ Community Theater production of Cats.
@ 10:23 am on January 11, 2012
The biggest problem that I have with this is that people always blame the victim, or that they diminish the situation with a mindless comment. If Ms. Hepola was a teenager or child browsing at the books while her parents were in another part of the store, and she was not planning on purchasing a book, would you still condemn her? Blame her parents?
She is not the only person in the universe that has gone into a bookstore and not bought anything.
Seriously.
@ 11:10 am on January 11, 2012
Well, the bell tolls for yet another brick and mortar bookstore. I still hope got neck-knifed.
@ 8:42 pm on January 11, 2012
Blame the browser. Seriously?
@ 8:44 pm on January 11, 2012
Leave a Comment
FrontBurner® launched in March 2003, the first blog in Dallas run by a media organization. This is where the editors of D Magazine come to waste a tremendous amount of time.
28 comments
A source who lives in my home had a similar encounter at the same Barnes & Noble recently. A store staff member led her to believe that it’s a recurring problem for bookstores.
In fairness, on one of my first ever visits to New York, I saw a guy masturbating in a doorway. And I’ve been to that Barnes & Noble many times and never once saw a masturbator. I think our poor girl just had bad timing. But a terrific flair for words, so she wins!
What do you guys want from me??? Gosh! All I can say is….DANIELLE STEEL, for christ sakes! And the kleenexes aren’t for my tears.
To J.H., the store employee should have told your source it was a problem for THAT bookstore. I wonder if he will return there since he’s been caught, or if he will seek out a new book store where there is likely to be just as few circulating employees, no security, & a quiet atmosphere a victim is reluctant to shatter?
Since he is performing publicly for his victims, are his sex crimes going to become more dangerous?
Thanks a lot, bin Laden.
Once I was eating at a window seat at the IHOP in Denton when a man pulled up in his car and — well. To say I couldn’t describe him would be inaccurate, but I certainly don’t know if he had a moustache or a leather jacket (I’m guessing yes). My reaction was to be entirely unflustered, literally not even to blink. (I was on a no-blinking kick already, so it’s true I had an advantage.) I focused really, really intently on my bacon and my lousy cup of coffee*. I simply refused to register this intrusion on my placidity, on decency itself, on the moral hygiene of homo sapiens and on the fragile illusion that we trump apes somehow, and it went away. I guess it — he — had finished.
___________________________________________________
* Later I would wonder why I hadn’t cried out, Oh haw haw: Look! Look, look out of the window! O look at the wankerfolk sitting in his car!
One more comment for victims of this crime in a public place: Yell ”Thief! Stop, Thief!” Like the scenario of attempted rape & yelling ” Fire”!
Tell the management & the police ASAP, remembering as many details of his face & build as you can if he gets away.
That’s a very sticky situation for Barnes & Noble. Maybe they should have the book store equivalent of hall monitors making sure that dudes like that aren’t doing that.
Fun with line breaks: When I first saw the headline I wondered “what’s a noble masturbator?” As opposed to, say, an ignoble or, perhaps, common masturbator?
Mary W., I had no details which would prove to be — what I mean is, when you say “remember his build,” I don’t think you mean … sheesh, there’s just no way to say this delicately: Judging from his pecker, I’d say he was 55.
Am I the only one who was disturbed by Ms. Hepola’s flippant remark about going to Barnes & Noble to read a book but not buy it? Last I checked, Barnes & Noble is not a library. How is that not piracy of some sort? That’s the kind of behavior that, among other factors, is putting bookstores out of business.
Dude in a low rider, driving north from Northwest Highway on Preston. I slowed down, he buffed a few curbs.
RAB, i kindof had the same thought
I had to hang out at the B&N in Plano for over an hour last month, killing time while my daughter was with a tutor at the Starbucks. Three separate times I was in an aisle that was empty except for me and suddenly a guy would be uncomfortably close to me. So I would move away and then 20 minutes later it happened again. Different guy each time. I thought this must be a popular place to meet women (or men) and since I’m not in the market I moved to the busier part of the store, magazines, for the remainder of my wait. I’m not saying these guys had their junk out but I got enough of a weird vibe from them to know to move along.
B&N should check their video surveillance to get photos of this guy… this kind of behavior could escalate into something more problematic eventually. Nothing that Sarah did caused this incident – this person has a problem that needs to be addressed with professional intervention / criminal justice system proceedings.
Thanks frontburner for posting and maybe all of us can be on the look out for similar activity. Justice, crowd-sourced? but not mob style (even if perhaps deserved by this guy)
What a freak. He should be home masterbating to Amazon.com like the rest of us
This kind of stuff happens at bookstores all the time. You ought to check out the Paris, on Harry Hines, or New Fine Arts, on Mockingbird.
RAB/bluebird: It’s actually not a flippant comment. Wait, yes it was. But it’s an important bit of context that was used purposefully. My behavior is not without consequences for Barnes & Noble, and I realize that. But it’s also what differentiates that store from Amazon, where I cannot effectively do the same thing. Whether it is right or wrong, reading a book you have no intention of buying is not an uncommon thing to do at B&N. The chain built their business on the idea that going to a big box bookstore was a communal and edifying experience; they built cafes and hauled in comfy sofas and encouraged readers to come browse. If they want to compete with Amazon, they need to continue making the argument that GOING to a bookstore is a worthwhile activity, and I would make the argument that even if I WENT there to read a book and never buy it, I would have eventually plunked down $14 for the Gloria Steinem book because I couldn’t finish it in one sitting. As it was, I shelved it in the wrong place while my heart was pounding. Anyway, I’m glad you brought up that point, and please excoriate me for it should you feel the need to do so. But it was a piece of the scene as I was trying to create it (exhausted, at midnight last night).
This reminds me when many years ago I went to a movie at the old Highland Park Theatre. Not the fancy place it is now, but the old days. I was sitting in a nearly empty theatre and a man came and sat one seat away from me. I thought that was odd, given that the theatre was almost empty.
Then it happened! I started screaming and he ran out of the theatre. I started to chase him, but before I got out of the front door I yelled at the old lady at the ticket booth to call the police. I chased him through Highland Park Village yelling like I was crazy—I put my head in at the Ralph Lauren store and yelled again to call the police.
When I ran out of the store to keep following the pervy loser, he literally walked into the HIghland Park Police.
I finally had stopped screaming.
Unlike Sarah, I did not say, “dude.” Instead, I said nothing and reported it to the B&N staff. I’m pretty sure my dude saw me notice what he was doing, so I casually walked away and took the escalator down to the first level (I couldn’t find anyone fast enough on the second level).
Like Sarah, my heart was a high pitter patter. As I was on the escalator approaching the first level, I glanced upward and there he was, hanging over the railing to see if I was going to stop at that customer service kiosk between the escalators. As if I was injected into an episode of Law & Order: SVU, I hightailed it to the music department because it is underneath the second level, hidden from his view. I fooled him, I told myself. I reported the incident to the B&N staffer, and he called his manager. And as Jason mentioned above, he indicated this happens often.
I remember leaving the store feeling dirty. And later annoyed. Why should I be the one who feels dirty? And why should I have had to see that? Perhaps B&N should upgrade its handling of this sort of thing, if it does happen as often as I was led to believe.
Oh, and instead of the women’s studies section, this guy was standing by the cookbooks, with his eye on three teenage girls.
Dear Ms. Hepola:
I see through (and you knew I would, but perhaps vainly hoped I wouldn’t) your half-apology — and your straw-man “please excoriate me for it should you feel the need to do so” only made it worse. (FYI, I don’t “feel the need” to do anything, thank you.)
The production of creative content and the need to monetize it in some fashion (at the risk of squelching its creation in the future) is a serious problem in this day and age. My guess is, you earn your livelihood by the production and monetization of creative content — so you, of all people, should be ashamed.
Try this: “I was wrong. I’m better than this, and I’m going to do better than this next time.”
Buy the book.
To some extent, I think B&N invites the reading of books and magazines in their store. I imagine most of the people who do it are often loyal customers who do buy books when they deem a book worthy. But, I can’t help but cringe for all the books that end up having to be discarded because of torn jackets and coffee stains.
I really don’t mind what Sarah did. But I do mind the people that drink the Starbucks coffee while reading magazines that they later just leave behind to be reshelved. If they can afford their latte, they could spend a mere $ 4 on a magazine.
So what do you think,that this guy/or many guys/need some attention?is that what they REALLY want?If so I’d say give them their 5 minutes of fame and call anyone that is in the are over to watch…and say it loudly so he get the audience he/they/really want…do you think that would work?
J Bennett: I think it’s a sexual perversion, pure and simple. His thrill is to see what he could get away with. I was baffled at the time by the fact that he chose a crowded Barnes & Noble, but I think that was what got his crank going, to use a coarse term.
Mary W: AMEN. My only real regret in this whole story is that I did not make a police report, but I plan to do so today.
Elena34 and other women who have shared similar stories: Thanks.
RAB: I don’t buy your half-excoriation with a twist of condescension. Then again, I was only browsing.
1. Kick the perv square in the jewels and call the police while he is disabled. This is exactly the kind of person who is capable of much worse should he encounter a victim in a more vulnerable situation.
2. If you feel you are being threatened or violated (especially in a public place) confront the culprit head-on. This is no time to be passive-aggressive. This would not have been nearly as conflicted of a story had Sarah shouted, “Oh my God, there is a duuuude in the Women’s Studies section wanking on his junk! Can I get a little help over here?!?” Hell, Mace the SOB if you have some.
3. Then again, maybe this was just a misguided effort on the wanker’s part to prepare for his audition for the role of The Rum Tum Tugger in the Citizens’ Community Theater production of Cats.
The biggest problem that I have with this is that people always blame the victim, or that they diminish the situation with a mindless comment. If Ms. Hepola was a teenager or child browsing at the books while her parents were in another part of the store, and she was not planning on purchasing a book, would you still condemn her? Blame her parents?
She is not the only person in the universe that has gone into a bookstore and not bought anything.
Seriously.
Well, the bell tolls for yet another brick and mortar bookstore. I still hope got neck-knifed.
Blame the browser. Seriously?