Articles for January 6th, 2012
What Shawn Marion Will Serve Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom at His Welcome-to-Dallas Dinner
An artist's rendering of the scene at Shawn Marion's house, come January 26.
The internet is abuzz with news that Dallas Mavericks player Shawn Marion will host a “Welcome Reception to Dallas” on Jan. 26 for Khloe Kardashian and his new teammates Lamar Odom, Vince Carter, and Delonte West.
I’m sure Tim’s invite is in the mail, as evidenced by the photo above that proves that he is a close, personal friend of Shawn Marion. Here’s what he’ll be eating, according to the just-received press release:
Nick & Sam’s Steakhouse Executive Chef/Partner Samir Dhurandhar is designing the reception’s menu. According to Dhurandhar, “my reception menu will be inspired from the menu of Khloe and Lamar Odom’s wedding. I have contacted my friend, Todd Hatoff from Allen Brothers, who is personally sending us the Wagyu Kobe Beef for the Wagyu sliders. In addition to the sliders, a few ‘for sures’ include my version of chilled heirloom tomato soup with burrata, jumbo shrimp cocktails, our signature fried lobster, lamb chops and other surprises.”
Should The Cowboys Fire Jason Garrett?
As I’ve mentioned before, I watched exactly one quarter of football this season. I’ve had some TV issues, but mostly I just don’t care. I like NBA basketball, Premier League soccer, Texas Rangers playoff baseball, the RW/RR Challenge, and that’s about it for sports. But, I do have an answer: YES. I also have a list of potential replacements.
Things to Do in Dallas This Weekend: January 6-8
Let’s get right to it:
Friday
I’ll start by noting that if you still want to go to the game out in Arlington that’s not really the Cotton Bowl, there are tickets available online. And if you’re a fan of Anderson Cooper’s favorite “comedian,” she’s in town too.
Those who prefer a higher brow evening should hit the First Friday at the Modern in Fort Worth. I know, I know, it’s such a long drive to get to Cowtown, but where else are you going to be able to enjoy cocktails, dinner, jazz by the group Outer Circles, a docent-led tour of the museum galleries, plus a movie about the Shakespeare of Germany, Young Goethe in Love? Â Yep, nowhere else.
Earthquake! In Dallas! But Where Was It, Exactly?
I don’t mean to suggest there’s any dispute about where this morning’s Dallas earthquake was centered. Since all the local news outlets are singing off the same U.S. Geological Survey song sheet, there’s agreement in their reports that the epicenter was near Bethany’s house, roughly at the intersection of Inwood Road and Northwest Highway.
But nearly all of our local media sources had a different description of where exactly that is.
The Star-Telegram reports that the tiny quake occurred “in the Preston Hollow area.”
The Dallas Morning News and Fox 4 both say it happened “near the Preston Hollow area of Dallas.”
Robert Wilonsky on Unfair Park describes it as taking place in his “near-neck of Northwest Dallas.”
CBS 11 employs its Random Capitalization formatting to describe the scene: “An Earthquake rattled parts of the metroplex Friday morning. The quake happened just after Midnight and was centered near the Love Field area.”
NBC 5 needs to update its map. It says it all took place “in University Park.” And further claims that the Starbucks in Preston Center sits in University Park as well. Close, but not quite right. Â (UPDATE: They’ve heeded our advice and changed the headline and copy to say “near University Park,” but they’re still claiming that Starbucks is in UP.)
But the gold medal goes to WFAA, Channel 8. They helpfully informed viewers that the quake occurred near the giant, disembodied heads of Mark Cuban and George W. Bush:
Craig James and the Dead Hookers Meme
Kudos to Ramzy Nasrallah, who donated $5 to Craig James’ campaign. For that low, low price, he was able to pull off this little prank.
Job Opening at D Magazine
Do you think you have what it takes to be our brand and communications manager? I dare you to apply.
Dallas Quakes at Midnight, Writer Blames Dog
So, true story: Last night (or early this morning, depending on your mindset), around midnight, I heard a noise in my kitchen. Loudish. I thought it was my dog, being a douche canoe, and I may have actually told him, “Hey, you, quit being so loud on a school night,” or something to that effect but with a lot more cursing.
This morning, I find that I probably owe my dog an apology, because there was an earthquake pretty much where I live-ish. Geologists say the epicenter of the 2.0 quake was around Northwest Highway and Inwood Road.
But you know what? The dog also gassed up the joint pretty bad last night, so I’m going to call this even. So where were you during the Great Quake of 2012*? I was Febreezing dog farts.
* unless, you know, we have another. Can that happen? Is this a thing now?
Jakadrien Turner, Despite Exciting Deportation to Colombia, is Just Another Bored Teenager
The Atlantic Wire pored over the Twitter and Facebook accounts of Jakadrien Turner, the Dallas teenager who was mistakenly deported to Colombia last April after she gave a false identity to officers in Houston. The takeaway?
She never discussed the deportation. Though, she often alluded to missing home and a “weird situation.”
But like many 15-year-olds, Turner spent a lot of time complaining of boredom. As far back as May 26th and as recently as September 28, Turner updated her Facebook status about the monotony of her Colombian life. For example, September 28: “Bored AS F***.” September 26: “bout to hit up the park bored man….”  And on Twitter we see the same sentiment.
Leading Off (1/6/12)
And Now Some News From the Office of Clearing Things Up. So first this I-35E widening between Dallas and Denton was deemed too expensive and would need to be scaled back and possibly even need toll roads. Then suddenly an official said (and I’m summarizing here), “Nah, we got this. The state can totally come up with the money.” And now a TxDOT official is hurriedly calling the Dallas Morning News’ Michael Lindenberger and saying, in summary, “Hey, um, we may have uh, kind of overstated how much we’d be contributing.” So things are pretty much still as uncertain as they were before.
Fancy-Schmancy Ballpark Overhaul Under Way. The Rangers Ballpark in Arlington is undergoing a $12 million makeover that will see improvements to the outfield plaza, play area and the visitors bullpen, as well as upgrades to the safety railings that will make them higher. The railings will be an above-average 42 inches now. If you want to watch the construction live, you can do so here.
How To Make Parents Really Mad. In short, throw away their kids’ trophies in a dumpster where they can be easily discovered by parents and students, who will then take pictures and post them online. If you really want to rile them, claim the trophies were just a bunch of broken sports trophies, when apparently they were actually for academic achievements. Here’s to you, Bridgeport Middle School.
I Don’t Even Know What This Is. But here, right at the 36 second mark.
Welcome to the Jerry Bowl. I’m sorry, but my little SWC heart will never be able to embrace a Cotton Bowl that’s not in the Cotton Bowl. That being said, you know, this.
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