Articles for December 22nd, 2011
Haiku Review Seeks $65,000
Three Dallas guys — Stu Hill, Wes Hendrix, and Brad Alesi — want to build an app that only publish reviews of restaurants and bars and suchlike in haiku form. Is it as silly as it sounds? Maybe not. They’re using Kickstarter to fund the project, which is explained in the video below. PS: Today is National Haiku Poetry Day, so there’s that.
Which Cover Would You Have Chosen?
Time for everyone’s favorite game, Pick The Cover!, wherein we all second-guess the decisions of your favorite magazine staff. Here are three iterations of the issue that will find its way to subscribers and newsstands this weekend. The cover story, written by Michael “Don’t Forget the J” Mooney, is about First Baptist Dallas Pastor Robert Jeffress. Which cover do you like most? (Jump to vote.)
The Return of Jerry Merwin’s Ties, Cont.
Yesterday we reintroduced you to St. Paul Place security maven Jerry Merwin, first line of 
defense against angry marauders against the D Empire — and notorious wearer of Christmas ties. The “Sponge Bob” tie you see here — it says, “I do believe. I do believe. S-S-S-Santa!” –Â is his latest. “A friend of my wife gave it to me as a Christmas present last week,” Jerry explains. “She decided she wanted to add to my collection of ties. I thought, ‘Sponge Bob? I don’t know if I’ll wear it.’ But I did. I’ve had quite a few compliments on it. People have said, ‘Nice tie.’Â Nothing extraordinary.”
Blessings of the Great Recession: A Break From Corporate Stadium Names in Dallas-Fort Worth
No doubt, the last few years in the American economy have been awful. Millions have lost their jobs and been unable to find new work. Many have been forced out of their homes, unable to pay mortgages or keep up with expenses. We’re recovering, we’re told, but it doesn’t always feel that way.
Now that I’ve bummed you out just before the holiday weekend, I want to mention one tiny bit of good news that we can perhaps attribute to our economic doldrums. Corporations are cutting back on their co-opting of the Dallas-Fort Worth sports world. With Addison-based Pizza Hut dropping its sponsorship from the soccer stadium up in Frisco that will soon only formerly be known as Pizza Hut Park, three of our four major-league professional sports venues are named for their teams rather than whatever company offered the most money for the naming rights.
Things To Do In Dallas Tonight: Dec. 22
I braved NorthPark last night, and I’m pleased to report that I had an almost-ideal experience. I parked on the third level behind the movie theater, left my bulky coat in my car, and made a mad dash inside. However, I’d love to know whether the half-naked male models shifting awkwardly at the store’s entrance are really boosting Abercrombie and Fitch’s bottom line. Everyone eying that store just looked uncomfortable.
Speaking of NorthPark, celebrators of Hanukkah who wish to brave the madness can attend the menorah lighting tonight and enjoy an evening of community story and song, courtesy of Chabad of Dallas. The third candle will be lit at 6 p.m., on level one between Barney’s and Nordstrom. Feel free to stick around for complimentary refreshments before rejoining the crowd.
Other options include celebrating the season with decidedly unseasonal music. This is a good thing. I’m so sick of “Santa Baby.” (Fighting words: I’ve never actually liked that song.) Anyway, DJ Sober’s Big Bang Thursdays marks its one year anniversary tonight with special guest A.Dd+ at Beauty Bar. Christopher Mosley has more details on FrontRow in the holiday edition of the Weekender. If that doesn’t do it for you, Tori Amos is at the Verizon Theatre. The queen of piano rock has legions of devoted fans, and if you are one, you can still get tickets and participate in what will probably be akin to a religious experience.
For more to do tonight, go here.
Leading Off (12/22/11)
Dallas County Moves to Ban Some Sort of Crazy Thing Where Ex-Convicts Shred Sensitive Documents. Parolees and probationers could earn community service credit shredding documents like Social Security cards and birth certificates until it was shut down this month. Now the county is looking into a ban on the practice. Honestly, I think that’s why everyone should do what I do with those sorts of documents. First, using a mortar and pestle, I grind the document (along with two or three ears of freshly shucked corn) into a powder — personally, I like to leave it a little coarse, but you might like yours finer. Then I make tortillas. Then I eat those tortillas.
Grand Prairie Woman Saved By Her Mailman. The lesson here: if you’re making fudge, take it off the stove before hopping in the shower. Also, just don’t make fudge. It’s overrated. I mean, yeah, that joint that used to be down in the West End? That was good fudge. But, in general, there are so many better ways to get your chocolate fix. Me? I keep it simple. Just a fistful of baker’s chocolate in a lukewarm bottle of Yoo-Hoo.
There’s a Chance of Snow On Christmas Eve. Only like a 30 percent chance, and I’m not going to be here anyway, so what do I care? Not that you asked, but I’ll be spending Christmas where I always do: at a Catholic mission deep in the interior of Mexico, teaching Nguni stick fighting to the underprivileged.
Dog Flu is Coming! I don’t like the idea of dogs getting sick, because I like most dogs more than most people, but this thing reads like it was dictated but not read by Dr. Kevin “Mad Cow” McCall, sitting president of the Greater Dallas Area Veterinarians Association of Dallas (GDAVAD). But I guess get that $25 vaccine. IF YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR DOG AND DON’T WANT HIM TO DIE.
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