Rick Perry Introduces His Son To the Media

Posted on November 9th, 2011 10:30am by Zac Crain
Filed under Local News

"Governor Perry, given the New Hampshire incident and your recent poll numbers, how long do you think you can stay in the -- "

"Governor Perry, given the New Hampshire incident and your recent poll numbers, how long do you think you can stay in the -- "

"Hey, hey, hey. Easy now, chief. Tap those brakes. I didn't come here to answer any questions."

"Hey, hey, hey. Easy now, chief. Tap those brakes. I didn't come here to answer any questions."

"Oh, noooo." (rolls eyes)

"Oh, noooo." (rolls eyes)

"Oh, we're being sarcastic now? You don't think ol' Ricky knows what's up? This ain't my first rodeo, Conrad."

"Oh, we're being sarcastic now? You don't think ol' Ricky knows what's up? This ain't my first rodeo, Conrad."

"Nah, I just wanted y'all to meet my new campaign's new secret weapon, my son Griffin. Griffin! Say hi to these folks."

"Nah, I just wanted y'all to meet my campaign's new secret weapon, my son Griffin. Griffin. Griffin! Say hi to these folks."

"Hey, guys."

"Hey, guys."

"Griff, tell these fellas how you're gonna help your daddy out."

"Griff, tell these fellas how you're gonna help your daddy out of this jam."

(party noise)

(party noise)

"Jesus jump-starting a Chevy! Griffin Richard Peter Paul Elijah Aggie Perry, what did I tell you about having parties at the GD headquarters!""

"Jesus jump-starting a Chevy! Griffin Richard Peter Paul Elijah Aggie Perry, what did I tell you about having parties at the GD headquarters!"

"I thought you said your dad was cool, man."

"The hell, Griff? I thought you said your dad was cool, man."

"Ah, hell, I'm just foolin'. Why doncha toss me one of them tallboys, huh, Griff?"

"Ah, hell, I'm just foolin'. Toss me one of them tallboys, huh, Griff?"

(drunk groaning)

(drunk groaning)

"Hey, mister. I am trying to be cool here."

(quietly) "Hey, mister. I am trying to be cool here."

"..."

"..."

"ARE YOU GD KIDDING ME WITH THIS, GRIFFIN? YOU'RE NOT TOO BIG TO TAKE OVER MY KNEE. GO OUT AND CUT YOURSELF A SWITCH.""

"ARE YOU GD KIDDING ME WITH THIS, GRIFFIN? YOU'RE NOT TOO BIG TO TAKE OVER MY KNEE. GO OUT AND CUT YOURSELF A SWITCH."

"..."

"..."

"I hate this stupid campaign."

"I hate this stupid campaign."

10 comments

  1. These are only getting better. Applause.

    @ 12:08 pm on November 9, 2011

  2. P.S. Did you coin “Jesus jump-starting a Chevy”?

    @ 12:10 pm on November 9, 2011

  3. @Daniel: As far as I know. Haven’t Googled it yet.

    @ 12:12 pm on November 9, 2011

  4. Needs moar Scott Pilgrim, and a Tobias Funke cameo is always welcome.

    @ 12:17 pm on November 9, 2011

  5. I’m stealing it early and often.

    @ 12:18 pm on November 9, 2011

  6. I *almost* hate to bring this up, but are these photos credited? Or will someone have to send $125 in quarters across the country again?

    @ 12:40 pm on November 9, 2011

  7. @A.B. Shhh.

    @ 2:03 pm on November 9, 2011

  8. @Wes Mantooth: Still plenty of campaign left.

    @ 2:04 pm on November 9, 2011

  9. It sounded to sober to be Perry. It’s almost as if the Perry in this interview wasn’t high on “life”.

    @ 3:43 pm on November 9, 2011

  10. If it didn’t risk your credibility as a journalist, I’d buy you a glass of bourbon Zac. Thank you for the 3 minutes of entertainment.

    @ 1:30 am on November 10, 2011

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