Mark Cuban Beats Ross Perot Jr.

Remember when Mark Cuban filed that legal brief featuring a picture of Dirk holding aloft the Larry O’Brien Trophy as a way to flip the bird at Ross Perot Jr. and his claims that Cuban was mismanaging the team? It worked. A judge last week denied all claims made by Perot. Thomas Melsheimer, Cuban’s attorney with the sense of humor, said, “We are extremely pleased with the ruling, which puts the Mavericks in the win column before the season has even started.” Well played, Mr. Melsheimer.

Louis C.K. Joins George W. Bush’s Motorcade

Since the former president lives here, that is good enough reason to post this.

Leading Off (11/4/11)

Vote Early, Vote Often. Did you know we’re supposed to be voting for something? Yeah. We are. And today’s the last day you can vote early for – waitaminute. It’s not even people. We’re voting for constitutional amendments. There are 10 of them, apparently, and a lot of them look kind of important. So you know, there’s that. Even if they aren’t people.

Horrible Things. I’m not even going to joke about this, but apparently two men died after being trapped in a sewage line near Fairview. I can think of a million and one ways to die, and being swept away in a stream of sewage is way at the bottom of the list. I mean, one minute you’re doing your work, and the next minute, you’re trapped in sewage. Just … no.

Things That Are Hard to Prove. The Loch Ness Monster. The love between John Wiley Price and Maurine Dickey. Anything involving the Trinity River. Arthur and Archie. And well, the alleged insolvency of the Dallas Mavericks, when the person you’re suing includes a picture of Dirk Nowitzki holding the Larry O’Brien. So yeah, state district Judge Craig Smith kind of dismissed Ross Perot Jr.’s suit against Mark Cuban yesterday.

Occupy Dallas to Occupy Dallas Somewhere Else. Reportedly, Occupy Dallas campers voted to move from their City Hall digs to somewhere else yesterday. According to reports, they’ve had a hard time distinguishing between actual protesters and people who are just there for the donated food. Yes, this is ironic, since the people who likely want the donated food and supplies are probably part of the 99 percent. Only, then they denied saying they decided to move. So in summary, Occupy Dallas will Occupy Something In Dallas for the foreseeable future.

Did You Know … that there is still a sport being played in the Dallas area? If you clicked that link and thought it was going to be another team, I shall remind you of this. Also, college football is awesome. And high school football. You should just watch that instead of the thing I just linked. Or the thing I linked first. You can watch that, too. Those things will make you happy. The other thing will just make you have lamentations and you will drink many beers and raise your fist in the air in a brief, weak gesture of anger before letting it fall limply to your side, as your shoulders slump and you realize that Roger Staubach and Troy Aikman cannot have a football baby together that will grow up to be the best quarterback in the history of ever. So just watch the things I told you about, because thinking about that will put bad images in  your head, man. Bad.