Articles for October, 2011

State Fair of Texas Picture of the Day: Oct. 21

Photo by Jason Janik

Photo by Jason Janik

Check out our guide to plan your own trip to Fair Park.

Thanks so much to photographer Jason Janik for all the wonderful pictures he shared with us during this year’s fair.

Jessica Simpson Pregnant, Probably

Magazines and blogs have been saying for weeks that Jessica Simpson is pregnant, but she’s kept silent. Some have reported that she wanted $500,000 in exchange for the story. Well, apparently she confirmed it to OK Magazine last night. The cover with the story will be out October 27. I’m just hoping there won’t be a reality TV show covering her pregnancy. Of course, if there is, I know someone who can do a great job recapping it.

Dallas, Texas vs. St. Louis: The Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge vs. the Gateway Arch

In watching the World Series games between the Texas Rangers and the St. Louis Cardinals from St. Louis the last couple nights, it’s hard to believe that this:

The Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge

The Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge, Dallas.

Will ever impress as much as this:

gateway-arch

The Gateway Arch, St. Louis.

One of these things is not like the other.

Want to Read More About Rangers-Cardinals? Of Course You Do

David Roth is one of my favorite writers — online or otherwise, but you can mostly find his stuff online. At The Awl this morning, he goes back and forth with the also very good David Raposa about last night’s contest between the two baseball teams. Probably a little different than most game recaps you’ll find. A taste:

David Roth: It’s worth noting that Joe Buck sounds not merely awake, but intermittently interested during the World Series. During the ALCS, it seemed like he was listening to an audiobook and watching the game at the same time. I mostly say this because he kept mentioning stuff from The Help when he was supposed to be talking about Jhonny Peralta. I know book groups are important, but you have to move that meeting or read before the game starts, you know?

David Raposa: I honestly can’t tell the difference between Regular Joe Buck and Joe Buck Zero. Both of them have the same vacant stare and glossy dental veneer. And both give me gas.

David Roth: I think when the Cardinals are involved and/or when a Flashy Black Wide Receiver does something DISGUSTING, Buck cares. Otherwise he’s watching Hulu during the game and eating Ambien like they’re Mike and Ike’s.

(Also, I would be remiss, since I’m already here, in not pointing you toward the similarly structured Physically Unable to Perform column Roth co-writes with Jeff Johnson for GQ.com twice a week.)

Things To Do In Dallas This Weekend: Oct. 21-23

We made it to the weekend. And I hope the man attempting to walk to the Park Lane Whole Foods from the corner of Cole and Lemmon Wednesday evening made it there alive.

Guy: “Is there a gourmet grocery nearby?”
Me: “Well, there’s an Albertsons.” And there’s an iPhone in your hand.
Guy, making a disgusted face: “How far is the Whole Foods, again?”
Me: “Pretty far, on foot.”
Guy: “How far is the highway from here? Give me plus or minus.”
Me: “Less than 10 minutes.”
Guy: “Cool. I’m staying at The Stoneleigh. It’s my first night in Dallas.”

Was this guy going to thumb a ride? Also, his first night in Dallas could have been his last if he planned on perambulating down 75. But I did kind of want to thank him for being the first quotable weirdo I’ve met in months. So, thanks, grocery snob!

Friday

In a nefarious plot to convince people to never venture beyond the Arts District, there’s a ridiculous amount going on down here tonight happening under the umbrella of Friday Night Arts. Which is not quite as hot as Friday Night Lights, because Tim Riggins isn’t involved, but still. There’s the free “plazacast” of Lucia di Lammermoor, the Dallas Opera’s season opener about a lady who trades true love for familial duty. It ends tragically, of course. Bring a picnic and a blanket to spread out on the lawn outside the Winspear. There’s also a pay-what-you-can performance of DTC’s To Kill a Mockingbird, if you feel like continuing the catharsis (just typing the words, “Jean Louise, stand up. Your father’s passing,” makes me tear up), plus late night activities at the Nasher (including a preview party for the new exhibit, Sightings: Diana Al-Hadid), the DMA (featuring a performance by Darktown Strutters, one of this weekend’s recommended concerts), and the Crow. Whew.

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State Fair of Texas Guide: Oct. 21-Oct. 23

According to my friend Brian, these ladies make a mean gordita. Brian's also the talented photographer: flickr.com/photos/lopiccolo/

According to my talented photographer friend Brian Lopiccolo, these ladies make a mean gordita. Credit: flickr.com/photos/lopiccolo.

This is it. Your absolute last chance to watch pigs race, meet cows named Elsie and Beauregard, eat too many corn dogs, and ride the giant Ferris Wheel—until next year. We present your guide to the State Fair’s final weekend. Don’t forget to stop by Chevrolet Town Square to pick up a free VIP wristband for FrontRow Live on Nov. 3, which gets you exclusive event access and a cool swag bag. Since you’re joining us anyway, why not? You can track down the wristbands at the Cruze and Sonic Launch Pad.

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Watch Elvis Andrus Work Magic Over and Over and Over …

Some people are calling Elvis’ glove flip the best short stop play in World Series history. It. Was. Amazing. Anyone know where we can get audio of Eric Nadel’s call of the play? (Props to DSheppard from LoneStarBall.com for the images.)

Dallas’ Guide to Halloween 2011bserver

Jack, get back. Photo courtesy of Flickr user lobo235.

Jack, get back. Photo courtesy of Flickr user lobo235.

Bring on the sexy bumble bees, cats, and pumpkins. It’s Halloween (well, almost)! For a guide to the best seasonal celebrations in Dallas, read on.

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It’s Oct. 21, And You Will Apparently Live

I’m really sorry we didn’t warn you of this, but apparently our favorite doomsday prognosticator, Harold Camping, predicted Oct. 21 would be the new new day of rapture. And, well, it’s now 8 a.m., and we’re all still here.

Now, he could mean the close of business day, in which case, gird your loins, y’all, and plan accordingly. Or it could be effective until 11:59 Pacific. I’m just not sure. If we see anything rapture-y, we’ll be sure to let you know, just like we did the last time.

Leading Off (10/21/11): The “Rangers!” Edition

Things I Like Splits Of. Champagne. That is it. But I will take last night’s split, since it means the Rangers have evened the playing field once again against the St. Louis Cardinals and come to Arlington victorious and needing to win three more. For game analysis, look here, or here. Also, I may have gotten a smidge snockered last night and proclaimed the Rangers’ bats “limpsticks” for a while. May the need for such a phrase be gone forever after last night.

Hambone’s Invisible ‘Stache. Deadspin.com asks why Josh Hamilton has a box of Just for Men for mustaches and beards prominently displayed in his locker, since he’s clean shaven.

Tanked. A Pintaloosa pony named Tank, who resides at the Dallas Zoo, picked the Rangers to win. I hope you are as relieved as I am.

Buyer Beware. Listen, there are some real jackholes out there. And they will sell you fake tickets to the World Series. So avoid those jackholes by buying your tickets some place reputable. End of PSA.

Attention, Jay Gormley:  The fact that there is no video to go with this story is a travesty. So I will provide my own.

Dallas Museum of Art Picks New Director

andersonV01As Krista mentioned below, our own Peter Simek has proven himself to be something of a soothsayer. Only with a twist. He predicted the future by saying the future was exactly what wouldn’t happen. How (kinda) embarrassing. Our November issue won’t hit newsstands for another 10 days or so. In it, Peter writes about the Dallas Museum of Art and how they don’t know what they’re doing (my words, not his). He says if they knew what they were doing, they would hire as their next director a fellow Maxwell Anderson (pictured) from the Indianapolis Museum of Art. Well, as we learned today, the DMA went out and hired Anderson. Two things: in fact check, the DMA people told us a new director wouldn’t be named until the new year. Second, Peter swears he hadn’t heard Anderson’s name whispered before he wrote his story. I believe him. Why? Because he wouldn’t have written “the current DMA brass lacks imagination” if he’d thought there was a possibility that Anderson would get the gig.

In any case, why wait to publish? Here’s what you’ll read in your November issue of D Magazine:

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Peter Simek Is a Fortune Teller

Our November issue comes out next week. In it, Peter Simek has an article about who he thinks should be the next director at the DMA. A spokesperson told Peter (and then confirmed with me) that no announcements of the new director would be made until next year. Well, that was rubbish. As Peter explains on FrontRow, the new director is none other than Maxwell Anderson, the man Peter said the DMA should hire. Look forward to reading why he thinks Anderson is the perfect fit in the new issue. And now I’m going to go get my fortune read by Peter.

State Fair of Texas Picture of the Day: Oct. 20

Photo by Jason Janik

Photo by Jason Janik

Check out our guide to plan your own trip to Fair Park.

Texas Has More Tigers Than India

Among the strange facts coming out of the Ohio animal-release-suicide story, embedded in this ProPublica story: “Texas has an estimated 3,500 tigers alone – more than live in India.” Oh my.

Former Maverick Guard/Swagger Connoisseur Nick Van Exel Lends His Support To the Rangers With Some Sort of Claw/Antlers Hybrid

"I guess I got my swagger back. Truth."

"I guess I got my swagger back. Truth."