Articles for September, 2011

Friday Hypothetical: The Punch Bet

I’ve sort of road tested this one on Tim Rogers, my direct supervisor, as well as former Spirit editor Eric Celeste, so it’s not just me typing until I get bored then salvaging a terrible question from the wreckage.

For seemingly no reason, I punch you in the face. Hard enough where you have a really decent shiner for a few weeks, but not to the point where I do any structural damage. In a month, you will be right as rain, but may still flinch occasionally if you are around me and I make a sudden move. (By the way, I make a lot of sudden moves. I mean in real life. I am physically decisive.) Anyway, after this random assault, I explain to you that the punch just won me a bet, and the payout is $100,000.

How much of that money do you demand from me? (Tim had the exact same answer, and general reasoning, as Eric. Just so you know.)

10 Most Beautiful: Don’t Forget

Vote over the weekend. Once a day, every day. Check back on Monday morning (or Sunday at midnight) to see all the finalists. They’ll be competing to make the top slots and be named 10 Most Beautiful Women in Dallas for 2011.

Things To Do In Dallas This Weekend: Sep. 9-11

So normally this is where I weave some sort of hilarious or semi-hilarious or not at all funny story about my week and the clowns who happen to be involved. But my good friend Brad Pearson over at People Newspapers has a far, far better tale for you. His dispatch/public service announcement from Katy Trail is both the grossest and funniest thing I have read in at least four days. He’s probably off bleaching his eyeballs, so I’ll take over. I can’t believe adults need to be told this, but for the love of all things holy, hold it or find a bathroom. Do not tinkle on the trail, especially in full view of other joggers. File that under what NOT to do in Dallas this weekend.

The following is a list of things you ARE allowed to do.

Friday

In case you haven’t shopped yourself into the ground with Fashion’s Night Out, here comes local fashion designer Abi Ferrin with more excuses to blow your hard-earned cash. She’s hosting a “Freedom Friday” shopping event at her studio in South Side on Lamar, showcasing her own limited edition pieces as well as jewelry by Denise Simon, who makes her wares from recycled and vintage materials. That’s maybe a lunchtime trip, since you can only buy until 5 PM.

After darkness has fallen, I’m checking out the opening of Crazy, Just Like Me, a new musical, over at the Kalita Humphreys Theater, part of the Uptown Players’ first-ever Dallas Pride Performing Arts Festival which will run through next weekend. I love the Kalita Humphreys space, for one, and the festival is using it well. They’re packing both stages with new work from local and out-of-town writers, plus at least one of the mainstage productions acts as a fundraiser for Youth First Texas, a community space for LGBTQ youth that provides access to social services, SAT tutoring, and all sorts of other good stuff.

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Do You Want to Speak at the Next TEDxSMU Conference?

This year, the awesome folks at the awesome TEDxSMU have left open one slot on the sked, and they’re auditioning folks to fill it. This year’s TEDxSMU happens December 2-3, the auditions happen October 11 at the Kessler Theater (a handsome, partially left-handed, scruffy member of the local media is one of the judges), and the deadline to turn in proposals for a chance to audition is next Friday. All that, plus some words in different font types and sizes, is after the jump.

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Bacon Nixed Role in Footloose Remake

Actor Kevin Bacon says he was asked to appear in director Craig Brewer’s soon-to-be-released Kevin Bacon IMG_9222remake of Footloose–the 1984 film that made Bacon a star–but turned down the offer because he wasn’t impressed by the role. Speaking in Dallas to a packed house last night for the Nasher Sculpture Center’s NasherSALON series, the Golden Globe winner said of the redo, “They wrote a part for me, and it just wasn’t that good a part. I honestly felt for me to be in the movie would be doing the movie a disservice. … But, I wish them the best. The only downside [for me] is, you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, ‘Eww, they’re remaking your movies!’ ” The 53-year-old actor (pictured in photo by Jeanne Prejean) said a remake of his 1990 Flatliners flick is also in the works.

Rex Ryan Clarifies Remarks About Cowboys Fans

Rex Ryan, the Jets coach (and the star of this play Tim mentioned yesterday), doesn’t want to see Cowboys fans Sunday night in New York, when Dallas kicks off the season in what will surely be an emotional affair (because it’s the anniversary of 9/11, not because Troy Aikman says the Cowboys window is closing). But, Ryan clarified yesterday, he doesn’t want to see Jets fans (a group not known for their sobriety or rational thinking) attacking Cowboys fans. His words:

“I’m not calling for our guys to do anything. The safety of every fan is important to everybody in this organization, including me. But would I not prefer to see another color jersey? Absolutely.”

Honestly, even telling Jets fans not to get violent, kind of sounds a little like telling Jets fans to get violent.

Why Rick Perry is Our Next President, According to Jon Stewart

“Rick Perry is the resin form of the pheromone found in Sri Lankan tiger semen.”

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Oh My God, Rick Perry Is Going to Be Our Next President – Second Installment
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A Look Back at How The Ticket Handled 9/11

I didn’t listen to The Ticket the morning of 9/11. Or at least, not when everything happened. I was still in bed when both planes hit, phone ringing like crazy, and woke up in time to see the towers fall. I heard a little bit of the audio this morning on my way into work, and then I noticed that Junior Miller had posted this story on his Twitter feed, by Super Awesome Good Analysis’ Eric Celeste. Give it a read.

Maybe Not the Best Choice of Words

Gov. Rick Perry has been in California, campaigning, wrangling donations and debating. All of these are things presidential candidates do, so I’m not surprised he is doing them, since, you know, he is a presidential candidate.

And I know some are verklempt at the fact that Perry is gone at a time when it seems like half the state is on fire, and sure, maybe a guy who carries a gun when he jogs is also bad ass enough to wield a shovel or a fire hose. Or maybe not. Maybe as governor he’s not going to emulate Corey Booker and go out there and do it himself. Different governing styles and all, you know.

But I do think I can take exception to his finance people’s description of his success in gaining donations in California. According to the Chicago Tribune, when asked, they said:

Members of his finance team says “it is going like wildfire” and their California schedule backs up the claim.

Really? That? Not, “It’s going well, thanks,” or even, “We’ve found that people are enthusiastic donors?” Maybe it’s a picayune thing, but it really is a poor choice of words, especially when back home, four Texans have died and the fires are only about 30% contained.

Leading Off (9/9/11)

So Maybe Luis Sepulveda Was Right. Back in March 2010, Carlos Medrano faced off against Dallas County Justice of the Peace Luis Sepulveda. When he emerged the victor of the Democratic primary, it was by 154 votes. Sepulveda cried foul and alleged voter fraud, but ultimately lost a court case. But apparently there was enough evidence to result in several indictments for various members of the Medrano family - including Carlos himself yesterday.

Oh, The Places You’ll Sleep. In the annals of How Not To Quiet a Child, doping milk with antihistamine and then serving it to the children who weren’t keen on napping has got to be found in volume one, right?

Rah Rah Clustercuss. Have you been following this Big 12/ Texas A&M mess at all? To recap: The Aggies want to go to the SEC, and told the Big 12 (which is not 12 anymore, but whatevs) that it wanted out. The Big 12 said, “Fine, but you aren’t coming back.” Then the SEC  unanimously agreed to take the Aggies. But then Baylor said, “Um, no. And we might just take you to court for that.” And then we find out from Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe that the SEC has to get waivers from each Big 12 school to continue with the process. And then this happened.

A Roundup, Buckaroo. Did you watch President Obama’s jobs speech last night? Are you at all curious how local and state elected officials feel about that speech? Yeah, me neither, but here’s a roundup of that anyway.

Things You Want to Avoid This Weekend. 635. Happiness overload from the weather. 635. Dining inside if there’s a patio available. 635.

Two Thursday Things Mostly About Last Night’s Debates

As Zac mentioned in Leading Off, a debate was had for all twelvety hundred Republican presidential candidates. I watched it, and man, they really don’t like Obama. You know who was the second person to get the most verbal slapping? Rick Perry.

The Dallas Morning News‘ Trailblazers blog offers up this picture. Yes, it looks like Perry and Ron Paul were getting in to it. But better than that, Bruce Tomaso gave us a new phrase when he said, “So maybe the governor was hissed?” I am now totally going to use this. Last week, I got hissed at the post office for not holding my mail for the third time. Tuesday I got hissed at the traffic and this guy in an SUV that tried to hit my car. See how that works? What gets you all hissed?

And then, on a semi-related note to the debates, is this. Have a happy 45-minutes-left-on-your-workday, friends.

On the F-Word

Earlier this week, I fielded a call from an upset subscriber named Susan. She had read our John Tesar story (the entirety of which is now online), and she was appalled by the number of f-bombs in the story. Not only where there three of them in the lead, but there was also a p-bomb (which was modified by one of the f-bombs).

Now, it’s our policy to print the f-word (and other such vulgarities) sparingly, usually only if it is in a direct quote and then only if no fewer than three offensive letters are dashed out. Like this: f – - – . Or: s – - – . (You’ll notice that WordPress doesn’t know how to handle the dashes.) There have been exceptions, and, interestingly, all those exceptions, without exception, appear to have been made in 1996. That year, in January, Eric Celeste wrote a story about gang culture that included the following line: “Members of the FSU (Fuck Shit Up) gang, for example, took to wearing Florida State University (FSU) attire.” Glenna Whitley must have thought it looked fun because the very next month, she wrote a story that contained this line: “When the officers ask the man for the car’s license plate number and other information to make a report of the robbery, he gets nasty, telling the cops to ‘get fucked.’” In September, Skip Bayless came along and wrote: “Even after the Cowboys had improved to 10-2, matching Kansas City for the NFL’s best record, Aikman stunned me by losing bis temper and his usual cool, charging that my sources were ‘a fucking joke.’” Our search engine is good but not perfect. Perhaps we’ve printed the un-dashed f-word elsewhere. That’s all I could find.

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Artist’s Rendering of What LBJ Freeway Will Look Like For the Next Couple of Years

lbj

Our Dallas Summer Heat Was Worse Than The Dust Bowl

We’re No. 1!

Texas just finished the hottest June through August on record in the U.S., the National Weather Service said Thursday.

Weather service meteorologist Victor Murphy told The Associated Press that Texas’ 86.8 average beat out Oklahoma’s 85.2 degrees in 1934.

That Dust Bowl year is now third on the list for the three-month span, behind No. 2 Oklahoma’s heat wave this June through August (86.5 degrees).

Yeah, so, remember The Grapes of Wrath? Worse than what caused that.

Things To Do In Dallas Tonight: Sep. 8

The Fashion’s Night Out megashopalypse is upon us. Pretty much every shopping center around town is participating, so you can’t really miss it. Unless you’re at home, composing a funeral dirge for Conde Elevator and watching The Devil Wears Prada.

Anyway, we’re all over this Miranda Priestly-approved evening. Raya Ramsey over on ShopTalk has thoughtfully compiled your best bets, which include NorthPark Center, Forty Five Ten (especially good for those who can’t resist a pop up shop), and Stanley Korshak. StyleSheet weighed in yesterday with a detailed itinerary. And obviously, there’s no good reason not to stop by Jimmy Choo in Highland Park Village, where Raya and our StyleSheet photographers, Kristi and Scot Redman, will be hanging out for a good portion of the evening. We’ll have Trailercakes cupcakes and wine, and it all kicks off around 6 PM. Should you need a Most Eligible Dallas fix, Drew Ginsburg and Tara Harper (one of our 10 Most Beautiful finalists) share host duties at Tootsies.

If you’re more worried about leaving the bars lonely than snapping up a limited edition Chanel nail polish, The Library Bar has your ticket. And 1310 The Ticket. The folks from the Hardline will be broadcasting live starting at 3 PM, and giving away stuff like VIP tickets to the upcoming Cowboys vs. Redskins game. The drink and food specials last all night, so don’t feel like you need to leave work early or anything.

For more to do this evening, go here.