It’s F***ing Hot. Today the mercury will likely work its way up to a buck-oh-five (punchy copy!), bringing us the 70th day this year over the triple-digit mark and breaking the record set in 1980. Take your damn clothes off.
DMN Ed Board Makes Bold Statement. I’m not sure how the headline reads in the paper, but online it goes like this: “Dallas Redistricting Process Tainted by Politics, Backroom Deal-making.” No s***, Shirlock.
Dallas Crime Is Down — Again. The five-oh has the drop on punk-a** b****es filled with bad intentions. Overall crime is down for the seventh consecutive year. In that period, it has dropped a total of 48 percent. The only problem is that, with so many years of improvement, it’ll be hard to drive crime rates down for an eighth consecutive year. My suggestion: the cops need to take it to the next f***ing level.
Army Corps of Engineers F***s Dallas. The City Council learned yesterday that a few years back, the Corps accidentally gave the city $15 million it shouldn’t have. It wants the money returned. And, oh yeah, the Corps has identified some additional improvements it wants made to the levees. Figure another $50 million. Are you s****ing me?
17 comments
Thanks for the laughs this morning!
Timmy – You are wicked wicked wicked !
This post would be better with some ****ing pictures.
“Shirlock”?? Tim? Just wanted to let you know the comments were, in fact, turned on.
I’m offended by asterisks. Please refrain from using them in the future and instead replace the asterisks with letters. And since there is now a complaint on record, you are free to say what you mean to say
Brilliant installment of Leading Off, Tim! Way to continue the pits of hell dragging in style!
I awoke this morning seeking news content, and was appalled to be exhorted to take my clothes off. That’s ****ing harrassment, ****-for-brains!
Cancel my subscription toute de suite. Yeah, yeah, “if I had one,” smart-assed ****wad. Also, please advise when I can get dressed.
I have been waiting all forgetting Summer to beat 1980. Forget you 1980. We own the record now.
Is “Metro” Tim back?
It’s ShErlock, a**hole.
In regard to “it’s f***ing hot!”: my boss was a little upset when I showed up to work naked, per your demand. I tried to explain that it’s naked tuesday…..
I think it might be a case of unfair work practices.
Is Rogers working on being 15-years-old?
The A.Conan Doyle comment is my favorite in forever.
Tim – In a word – F***ing genius!
F***. I wrote that at, like, 6 in the morning. I was f***ing tired. Sorry about the “Shirlock” f***up.
Good grief. F*** me running. I’m only just now seeing that I left out a bunch of links, too. I’m a total d***m****er.
How exactly are the crime reports compiled? By zip code? I was robbed in Dallas on Greenville. When I looked up my crime report online as reported by the police officer, the zip code listed was something like Lubbock. The beat was correct, but there was no attempt for a correct address, although the location is a very well known restaurant and could be easily googled or acquired. Just wondering.