Things To Do In Dallas Tonight: Aug. 31

It has been brought to my attention that I don’t ever talk about sports here. While this is not entirely true, you don’t actually want me to talk about sports. It would be embarrassing for everyone involved, despite my very small amount of newly acquired knowledge that has come with marathoning both seasons of Sports Night, which was/still is genius television.

Regardless, athletic events do happen. And I’m especially sad that I didn’t recommend last night’s Rangers game, where apparently people wore bear suits. Hindsight is a terrible thing. Then again, no one expects a bear suit at a Tuesday night baseball game the same way that no one expects the Spanish Inquisition on Halloween, because ignorant people will just think you’re some sort of priest. In a red robe. So clearly they mean “cardinal” but they’re already so far off it’s not even worth trying to explain the joke. Maybe, just maybe, these bear people will come back for game two this evening against Tampa. Behold my sporty brain. And if you are heading to the Ballpark tonight, check out the Dallas Morning News‘ exciting food coverage. One of these is sub req, naturally.

As you might could tell, I’m feeling a little weird today. So that makes it a great night for me to head over to the Ochre House and check out something I do talk about quite a bit: a play. Morphing is Matthew Posey’s latest writer-director-actor credit, a riff on Eugene O’Neill’s A Long Day’s Journey Into Night that of course manages to incorporate a giant man-eating puppet. Of course it does. FrontRow’s Lance Lusk has the review. Cliff notes? He liked it quite a bit. Green means go, except if you ask my cousin Jeff, who has a theory that almost makes sense on why green traffic lights do not actually mean go.

For more to do tonight, especially if you are someone who secretly or not so secretly likes Selena Gomez, I cordially invite you to click here.