Friday Hypothetical Question

If the lockout holds and there is no NBA season, do you think I could still play a passable version of the drum parts on Metallica’s “One” using two blue-ink Papermate pins, my desk, a metal water bottle, this stack of file folders, and my natural charisma?

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15 comments on “Friday Hypothetical Question

  1. Mr. Chairman, I move approval of a substitute motion for this substitute hypothetical question: If President Obama is re-elected next year, and Democrats win all 535 seats in the House and Senate, where would they look for a Republican to whom they could surrender?

  2. Now if you really want to man up, I’d start working on “Dyers Eve,” it could take the whole lockout.

  3. No, you’d have to tap deep into your supernatural charisma to pull it off.

    What does the NBA lockout have to with Metallica desk drumming?

  4. You wouldn’t even get to the “darkness imprisoning me” part without those pens exploding. Papermate pens suck.

  5. Maybe, you could adopt a new sport and team to obsess over until the lockout gets worked out. Premier League maybe? WNBA?

  6. I learned to play the rythym and lead guitar parts while I was deployed to Bosnia – on an acoustic guitar. Man, I burnt through some strings that winter.

    The double kick will probably drive your coworkers up the wall. (Rob Schneider voice) YOU CAN DO IT!!!

  7. I think that if the lockout happens it would cause one to fall in a state of such despair, that the ensuing agony would inspire the ability for you to at least play Led Zepplin’s “Moby Dick” with a couple of tightly rolled up post-it notes and an empty Dickies BBQ cup. …But definitely NOT Metallica’s “One”.