Sorry for the lack of posts today. We’re finishing up our September issue (Best Breast Augmentation Doctor Joke Makers!) and Tim won’t stop talking about himself. So we’re swamped. To make up for that, here is a clip of Marc Anthony covering the Eagles’ “Hotel California.” The audio has been disabled, because of a copyright violation I think, so there is no sound. But there are subtitles, in Spanish. I love you all.
We have discussed Josh Lankford before. For instance here, when the Dallas Morning News did a story about his start-up Internet TV company that covered the penny stock market. Or here, where I talked about how I got hired to work at the company in its early months. And even here, when everyone expressed extreme shock that O.J. Simpson would agree to a series of interviews on that network.
What has Lankford been up to since that time? Well, now he’s on the lam from the Feds, after being charged for his alleged role in a series of pump-and-dump scams. And just a few days ago, the SEC asked for and received a judgement against Lankford for more than $94 million in penalties.
I mean, if they ever find him.
I’ve walked by this architectural oddity (at right) Â jutting out of the side of the Spurgeon Harris building in downtown Dallas hundreds of times since D Magazine World Headquarters relocated in fall 2009. Usually the weather is far too decent for me to think anything other than “what the hell is that?” as I go by.
But today I was inspired by the continuous extreme heat to do something more. I was certain that I was somehow being a sucker for walking all the way down to one of my favored lunch spots near Thanksgiving Square while exposed to the sun’s onslaught. I was certain there must be a better way. And there is.
Today, for the first time, I discovered the missing link. I discovered this link in much the same way that Columbus discovered America. Because my colleagues and I were ignorant of it, I believe I have a right to claim it as our own. Regardless of how many Dallas office drones have tread upon it before.
For this strange structure is part of the skyway that made it possible for me to go nearly the entire distance between Thanksgiving Tower and the garage directly across from our office without suffering heat stroke. (And Krista will be able to walk home indoors, assuming she can leave here during business hours.) As portions of the tunnels cannot accurately be described as featuring “air-conditioned comfort,” I’m looking forward even more to using this system when it’s pouring rain. If 1600 Pacific weren’t closed, I could get all the way to the Bank of America building and back.
Vibrant street life be damned. We need our tunnels.
If you have not yet taken a gander at our newest blog,Â StyleSheet, you should. It’s full of lovely ladies and gents who are proof that million degree temperatures don’t actually give us license to dress like a bum. That being said, I would not laugh at anyone who decides to make a CamelBak a permanent fixture in his or her wardrobe. Load it up with extra ice.
Who said Dallas and Fort Worth weren’t created equal? Probably no one said that. But softies for songs like “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” and “Yellow Submarine” by some little band called the Beatles on both sides of our vast metropolis are in luck this weekend.
1964…The Tribute Band is on at the Bass Hall in Fort Worth both Friday and Saturday night. Rolling Stone dubbed this one “the best Beatles tribute on Earth.”Â I have no way to prove this, but I hear Ringo is the preferred Beatle on Mars.
Proposed City Budget Not That Wet. City Manager Mary Suhm’s proposed budget isn’t as dire as predicted earlier in the year, but it still cuts a lot from libraries and parks, and closes several pools. Also, your water bill will go up. Good news? The city found room in the budget to hire more police officers.
Man Rescued From Very High Height. So this guy, in this heat, is up on a Burleson cell tower, working. And because he’s like, 760 feet closer to the sun, he got hot and disoriented, and took off his safety harness and eventually just got trapped up there. Â And then Burleson firefighters climbed all the way up to rescue him. Â In one fell swoop, I found two jobs that I can’t do.
The Response is This Weekend. So far, tickets to Rick Perry’s The Response day of prayer, fasting and something else I don’t remember haven’t sold so well. Houston’s Reliant Stadium holds more than 70,000, and there are 8,000 in ticket sales. I’m pretty sure you don’t rent out a giant building if you expect the response to be 1 percent of the seats available, IJS.
Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Sigh.
I Give Up. It’s hot, and I’ve given up moving. Two days ago, I found a college football game on the TV from last season, and watched it so I could psychosomatically feel cooler. Go with God, people.