We’re talking about TNT’s Dallas this morning, and the fact that the French version of the original series replaced the awesome theme music with a bizarre song featuring oh-so-French lyrics. This is the translation, according to a YouTube commenter:
Dallas! your merciless universe.
Dallas! glorify the rule of the might.
Dallas ! and under your implacable sun.
Dallas! you dread the death only.Dallas! homeland of the dollar, of the petroleum.
Dallas! you do not know mercy.
Dallas! the revolver is your idol.
Dallas! you hold on to your past.Dallas! woe to him who does not understood.
Dallas! one day he will lose life.
Dallas! your merciless universe.
Dallas! glorify the rule of the might.
Dallas! woe to him who does not understood.Dallas! one day he will lose life.
Dallas! your merciless universe.
Dallas! glorify the rule of the might.
Dallas! woe to him who does not understood.
Dallas! one day he will lose life…
Forget “Live Large. Think Big.” We’ve got ourselves a new city slogan.
12 comments
Geez – sounds more German to me, but really? Pretty harsh!
If only…..
They fail to mention churches and titty-bars.
“Well Dallas is a jewel oh Dallas is a beautiful sight But Dallas is a jungle but Dallas gives a beautiful light”
Jimmie Dale Gilmore says it best.
Dallas! woe to French who does not understood
All your base are belong to us!
I just love this. That’s all.
The tagline “Homeland of the Dollar, of the Petroleum” should be on all Now-Entering-Dallas signs.
@Bill: Always loved that tune, and I think it meshes well with this Gallic take on our fair city. More choice lyrics:
Dallas is a woman who will walk on you when you’re down . . .
Well Dallas is a rich man with a death wish in his eyes
A steel and concrete soul in a warm heart and love disguise
A rich man who tends to believe in his own lies
Yeah Dallas is a rich man with a death wish in his eyes
Then there is the more prosaic – a song by Hank Williams Jr:
This ain’t Dallas and this ain’t Dynasty.
This is a real-life two job working family.
And I ain’t J.R. You ain’t Suellen
We’re just a man and a woman holding things together.
I work every day the sun comes up from eight until five.
I don’t have a new Mercedes car or a chauffer to drive.
My wife ain’t out shoppin’ with a country club queen.
Cause she’s workin’ in the morning until she picks up the kids at three.
And this ain’t Dallas and this ain’t Dynasty.
This is a real-life two job working family.
And I ain’t J.R. You ain’t Suellen
We’re just a man and a woman holding things together.
Now we all like to watch those shows and we all like to dream.
You know J.R. is making deals and Alexis is making steam.
Joan and Linda, Victoria and Morgan they’re a sight to see.
My ole lady said, “I know what you’re thinkin’”
I said “Now honey, don’tcha know all of that is on TV.
And this ain’t Dallas, this ain’t Dynasty.
This is makin’ a livin’ down in Tennessee.
And I ain’t J.R. and you ain’t Suellen.
Nah We’re just man and woman holding things together.
No this ain’t Dallas and this ain’t Dynasty.
This is makin’ a livin’ down in Tennessee.
I ain’t J.R. and you ain’t Suellen.
Nah just man and woman holding this thing together.
And we’re just a man and woman holding this thing together.
Jason, you left out the fifth verse:
Dallas! I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!
Dallas! I f*** in your general direction!
Dallas! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
No mention of “bums” – and that makes me sad.
Dallas has inspired quite a few songs, some about as unsympathetic as any Frenchman’s.
Goin’ back to Dallas take my razor and my gun
Goin’ back to Dallas take my razor and my gun, oh yeah
Lots of people lookin’ for trouble
Man, sure gonna give ‘em some
I believe old Dallas is the meanest town I know
I believe that Dallas is the meanest town I know
Because you’re not safe in Dallas
I don’t care where you go
– Johnny Winter
I’m going to Dallas, see my pony run
Going to Dallas, see my pony run
I’m going to Dallas, just to see my pony run
She wins every race and I can’t see how it’s done.
– Lightnin’ Hopkins
If you ever get the chance to go to Dallas
Take it from me pass it by
‘Cause you’ll only sing the blues down in Dallas
Take it from me don’t go and cry …
People do you wrong down in Dallas
I know well they’ve done it to me
Stealin’ all your bread, they’re so callous
I know well just look and see
– Roger Bartlett (Jimmy Buffett’s lead guitarist)
Don’t forget the Silver Jews’ “Dallas”. Probably just as or more twisted, plus the guy went to Greenhill:
I passed the thirteenth floor
the CPR was so erotic
a blizzard blew in through the door
and little glowing cum buckets in her ankles
O Dallas you shine with an evil light
O Dallas you shine with an evil light
How did you turn a billion steers
into buildings made of mirrors,
and why am I drawn to you tonight?
Once you taste the geometry of a church in a cul-de-sac
you’re gonna want to sit with the bad kids in the back
Cruising down Commerce
killing time in the blazing sun
Is it true your analyst was a placekicker for the Falcons?
We saw B.B.King on General Hospital
in the Oak Cliff dramhounse where we stayed
and when Clancy whipped her with his belt buckle
he cleaned her cuts and then we prayed
O Dallas you shine with an evil light
Don’t you know that God stays up all night?
And how did you turn a billion steers
into buildings made of mirrors,
and why am I drawn to you tonight?
Watching the makeup girls make out with the mannequins
“Hey boys, supper’s on me, our record just went aluminum”
Poor as a mouse every morning
rich as a cat every night
Some kind of strange magic happens
when the city turns on her lights