Find a back issue

Leading Off (5/6/11)

Trey Garrison Should’ve Unbuttoned One More Button. Fox 4 not only did a rundown of a bill that would force companies to allow employees to keep their guns in their cars, but it had local gun rights advocate and writer Trey Garrison, and his manly chest, on to talk about the bill. Spoiler alert: He likes it. I think. I didn’t watch all six minutes because there was a Rangers game on. But I’m betting. Trey?

Is Our Children Learning? Listen, I don’t wanna pick on Richardson, but um, oops.

Something Something Naked Burglar Something Raw Chicken. So a Dallas mom comes home from dropping her kid at school to find a window broken. Inside, there’s a bloodied, naked man, eating raw chicken. I’m not sure which part of that sentence is most unsafe.

Someone in Dallas Dislikes Schools. Several Washington D.C. schools have received letters containing white powder, similar to other letters mailed to other schools in the U.S.  At least one of the D.C. letters came from Dallas.

Why, Hello There, Ron Artest. Ron, we in Dallas are saddened that you will not be joining us for Game 3 tonight. However, when you do return to play the Mavericks, our mothers gave us an advanced directive.

15 comments on “Leading Off (5/6/11)

  1. Jeff Weiss, the DMN reporter who found the speling bee award is AWESOME. He covers ISD blog…word is there may be a story over the weekend. Jeff has a great sense of humor.

    Enough with the white powder…the 80′s are over.

    It’s Friday, Friday. I can’t decide where to sit.

  2. 3. The article says he’s in the hospital being treated for his injuries? So what are they doing for his mental illness?

  3. Hey big government! Keep your hands off of our American businesses! Unless it’s to make them do something conservatives like!

  4. 1. My favorite part was where Trey said he would invite you into his home, tell you to take off your shoes, and then shoot you. I THINK I got that right.

  5. I think if William H. Macy and Will Forte had a baby who refused to button his shirt, his name would be Trey Garrison.

  6. @Trey – I resisted watching the video, thanks for clearing up your point of view.

  7. I like that he was “caught” eating raw chicken. Like that’s the part about which he has some ‘splainin to do.

    If he had been naked except for a bow tie and a gun, and had said upon being “caught,” Oh, bottom-feeding peasant, how dare you interfere with my grand project, can’t you see my selfishness will save mankind, nobody here would need three guesses as to the burglar’s identity.

  8. I like how they blurred out her last name in the picture but still said it in the caption…

  9. “If I invite you to my house and as soon as you come in, I lock the deadbolt and tell you to lie face down and put your hands behind your head — well, you gotta lie face down and put your hands behind your head. Which is why I’m against this law: It’s a slippery slope. Let the Government tell private businesses how to run their affairs and next thing you know, they’ll step into your kitchen and try to tell you how, when and under what circumstances you may assassinate your friends or, in this case, a TV news person. And as Ayn Rand said in one of her many long, magnificent, long books, ‘Lick my shoe, human scum, ’cause I’m real smart and stuff.’”

  10. “If I invite you to my house and as soon as you come in, I lock the deadbolt and tell you to lie face down and put your hands behind your head – well, you gotta lie face down and put your hands behind your head.”

    But that’s what you agreed to when I answered your Craigslist ad, Daniel.

  11. Only under duress — I really wanted that original 45 of “Sea Cruise,” the commemorative plate of Charles & Di, and the only slightly rusted 1972 lunchbox featuring a cavalcade of Sid and Marty Krofft characters including the Banana Splits, who were discontinued the following year. (As Ayn Rand said in some magisterial work or another: “Give it to me it’s mine dammit I want it now and I’m smarter than you, Plebe.”)

    Well, I lived up to my, um, end of the bargain. Awaiting the FedEx man in soreness and in shame.