So we all know about castle law, right? It basically says you can shoot people if they come up in your house without your permission. I’m paraphrasing here. So I have this question, and since it’s Friday, I thought I’d ask it.
Suppose, hypothetically, you were busy doing something you didn’t want to get interrupted during, say making a souffle or watching House Hunters International, and someone knocks on your door. A salesman. And it’s after 8:30, and very dark, which is against city ordinance. And say, hypothetically, you were very upset when you opened the door and it was not someone with a big check, but instead was a salesman, trying to finagle his way in to your house to sell you an alarm system or leg warmers or something. Since we can legally shoot someone, wouldn’t punching this person in the snotbox also be permissible?
And even if not, wouldn’t you be a complete and total baddie if you just opened your door, punched, and closed again?
Discuss.
16 comments
This is why having dogs comes in handy. The top of my front door is glass (crystal?). If I see someone come to the door holding either a clipboard or a flier, I just let my two barking dogs go nuts at the door and ignore him (never had a lady trying to sell me something).
A nice grazing of the scrote with a steel toed boot should be sufficient
Or magazine subscriptions, or books that will result in a donation to your local public school. One guy even promised to come back and wash my neighbors cars the next day. They wrote checks and are still waiting for the water and soap to show up.
Here’s what I do, and it works like grease in a clogged intestine. Once they start their schpiel (schpeil?), I interrupt with, “Oh my gosh, you are the THIRD guy to come by and sell the SAME thing THIS WEEK!” Since they hit the city in batches of kids working for nothing, they are unsure if it is their own group or not. Leaves them speechless.
This is an quite the kinky fantasy for a D Mag blog, Bethany.
But when it turns out to be your mother-in-law, everyone acts like you’re the bad guy or as Suzie put it “a dangerous drunken cretin” what she couldn’t have called first? Plus Suzie’s really one to talk, she cheated on her husband with a man who makes his living demonstrating yo-yo’s at shopping malls. I really need lessons in morality from Suzie.
i am against violence. Offer them a poisoned drink.
I prefer the passive-aggressive approach: don’t open the door.
I think vampire rules would apply. If they cross the door threshold then punch, kick stake/stab, or shoot away. But if they remain on the porch for a while, then Jehova Witness rules apply and It’d probably just be best to ignore them or open the door wearing “The Gimp” costume complete with ball gag.
My solution was to post a No Soliciting, No Flyers, No Handbills sign on my front door (English and Spanish). It works 95% of the time. The other 5%? I don’t open the door.
She’s NOT telling the WHOLE skeevy story.
I think it would be better to poke said person with those oversized grill accessories. Start with the two pronged fork. If they fall, you can use the big spatula to flip them off the porch.
I actually try and sell them stuff from my garage.
Just make sure it’s dark before you make it ‘lights out’ for some poor castle invader. You can’t just shoot during the day, but must wait until the sun has set to take them out in Texas.
The Castle Law ( which ought to be called the Redneck Law) provides Texans the right to use deadly force for means of self-defense in their home, vehicle or workplace. Personally, I don’t know any gun owners who live in a Texas castle, but we’ve got plenty with cars and offices.
So if your punch or kick fits in to the deadly force category, just wait until sun down before you go swinging.
This is a fundamental misunderstanding of the castle doctrine. This is still the law of the land on use of force:
The last part (e)&(f) was the only part added as the castle doctrine. You don’t have to try to get away before you defend yourself.
That’s it. Anything more than that is hysteria about how the world is going to turn into the Old Wild West if we allow people do defend themselves.
So yeah, if you just start punching people who ring your door, you are guilty of aggregated assault. If you tell them that they are trespassing and they refuse to leave, then you are getting into Section 2(1)(A)
http://www.rc123.com/texas_castle_doctrine.html
@DMB – Brilliant.
Phelps: Three questions –
What’s another word for not tell the truth?
What number comes after nine?
What’s the opposite of down?
I could chuckle about it if the political opponents to the law hadn’t painted everyone who supported the change as a bloodthirsty vigilante who wants to start shooting people for just knocking on their front door.