Dear Media Type People Who Get To Ask Mark Cuban Questions:
Apparently, Mr. Cuban now tires of you asking him about how much it Â hurt to be hit by whatever he was hit with during Game 3 against the Trailblazers. If you ask, he will call you a dumbass, and perhaps throw a few more choice profanities at you.
Dear Kerry Eggers and the kind, Amish folk at the Portland Tribune:
Want to learn about a string of profanity? I can learn you that. But a couple of f-bombs, a dumbass and a damn sandwiched in a few hundred words does not a string of profanity make. Call me, or e-mail me, and I’ll show you a string of profanity. I’m good at it.
That being said, dude – if you had done your homework, you would’ve known you got off easy.
Hugs, Kisses, and Best Waffles,
If you’reÂ lookingÂ toÂ get into University Park on the cheap and you don’t mind a little Brady Bunch architecture, search no further than Craigslist.Â This 2900+ square foot, 5 bedroom, 3.5 bath home in HPISD hits the auction block Sunday night and it isn’t even a foreclosure. The owner, Scott Miller,Â is testing out a radical sales strategyÂ offered by Bill G. Effros in his book, How to Sell Your Home in Five Days.
3614 Granada, $349,000 or best offer.Â
All the Parkie real estate agents are looking at each other right now saying, “Whatchoo talkin’ bout Willis?”
As if all the news this morning wasn’t scary enough (Charlie Sheen, rowdy sports fans, this guy), I’m gonna drop one more thing on you: armadillos. Seriously. If you see one of these suckers creeping around your yard/farm/the highway, don’t pet it. And for the love of all things holy, don’t eat it. It might give you leprosy, and no one wants that.
Is it wrong to mention armadillos, leprosy, and Coco Chanel in the same blog post? I’m doing it. Tonight, when the Dallas Museum of Art is in fact open late, Rhonda Garelick, professor of English and the performing arts at the University of Nebraska, will deliver a lecture entitled A Dream of Identity: Coco Chanel and the Myths of Fashion. I did some searching, and found that not only is Garelick writing a cultural biography of the designer, but that she’s interested in fashion pretty much the same way I am: with context. So much of what’s produced is pretty or delightfully odd, but what does it mean and where did it come from? For her talk tonight, Garelick presents Chanel in the designer’s world, surrounded by the artists she patronized and the writers she influenced. It helps that the DMA has re-created five rooms of Chanel’s fabulous Mediterranean villa, La Pausa, so there will be plenty of visuals.
As a side note, I recommend reading Garelick’s New York Times op-ed about the Galliano fiasco. Good insight into Dior’s reaction to their creative director’s alleged racial slur, and why the French government punishes racial insults as a crime. History is important, kids, though occasionally the reminders are far from pleasant. But happily, there’s nothing unpleasant about French onion soup, and all this Paris talk makes me want Lavendou for dinner. A little far from the DMA and potentially pricier than your average weeknight fare, but worth it.
For more things to do in Dallas tonight, go here.
Do you like vodka? Do you like beer? Do you like lemonade? Then you should totally try the Summer Beer at the Old Monk. And if you like pretty rooms, fine furniture, fancy chandeliers, gardening news, and finding out what inspires interior designers, you should totally try our new and improved D Home page. We are the Summer Beer of blogs–lots of good things mixed together. We have product galleries! We have room galleries! We have a blog! We talk about television! I’ve exhausted my supply of exclamation points, so please come by dhome.dmagazine.com for a visit.
I went to see Charlie Sheen last night. I’m pretty sure I was the oldest person to pay for a ticket. Why did I go? I don’t have a direct answer to that question. I’m an ambulance chaser. I’m the driver who stops at a massive car wreck to look for dead bodies. I can watch twelve hours of earthquake damage on television. Tragedies fascinate me.
Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo of Truth performance at the sparsely populated AAC was a delicious disaster. Kidd Kraddick, thrown into the impossible task of interviewing Sheen, was murdered on stage. There was only one Goddess. I swear she’s got a baby bump. If she does, then there is another calamity in the making. Mark Cuban didn’t show up; only dudes with beer guts and baseball caps with dates dressed in clothes from the sale rack at Forever 21.
Pictures instead of words below. (more…)
State Rep. Leo Berman (R-Tyler) has repeatedly asked for President Obama to produce his long-form birth certificate, either by directly asking for it or indirectly, by introducing a bill that says, in his words, “If you are running for president or vice president, you’ve got to show here in Texas that you were born in the United States and the birth certificate is your proof.” (It makes more sense if you add “and are black and have a funny name” after vice president.) Anyway, as you can see from that video above, produced by the Texas Tribune, even after Obama complied with his wishes, Berman still isn’t happy. Why? Because he never wanted the birth certificate.
God bless — let’s jump.
Tiger Blood Rained Down at AAC. But not from Charlie Sheen. No, instead, Kidd Kraddick, emcee of last night’s show, said he was the one everyone loved: “I was amazing at Charlie sheen show. They just couldn’t hear me cuz of all the booing. Lol.” However, a certain co-worker tweeted her response, “Kidd Kraddick booed more than Sheen. KK nervous. Sheen: “you told me these people loved you.” Kraddick #Losing.” Don’t worry about not having access to read this recap of the show. I consider not going to be me winning.
Investigation After Officer’s Slaying Leads to New Policies. Officer Jillian Michelle Smith was killed after responding to a domestic violence call. It has now been determined that the 911 operator and the dispatcher mishandled the call, thus causing them to either resign or be fired. It’s now a policy that two officers must respond to domestic violence calls. But this is just a temporary change, one that will be reviewed to see if it’s even necessary. Lessons were learned. Let’s just hope they’re remembered.
Let’s Get Rowdy. Or not. Tuesday in San Antonio at a Frisco RoughRiders game, umps declared a home run a ground-rule double. This caused Frisco players to throw trash cans and bats into the crowd, and, of course, the crowd reciprocated. I love sports. You never really know what’s going to happen–one minute you’re reaching for a foul ball, the next a trash can is nailing you in the head.
Found a Localized Royal Wedding Story, Finally! I don’t know if you are aware, but there’s this really large and important wedding happening tomorrow. While everyone’s been guessing and wondering about what Kate will wear, we at D have been racking our brains trying to find a way to localize the story. I thought about going with Tim’s tweet about how he’d rather watch the wedding than the NFL draft, but then I found this. It’s way sweeter than talking about the draft.