A Hypothetical For No Reason

Choice 1: You are best friends with John Wiley Price, but you’re not allowed to correct or confront him on ANYTHING. This is tough since you have an extremely noticeable physical deformity that he often pokes fun at, mainly in public meetings, which you are forced to attend. Making it even tougher: you are on the staff, in a prominent role, of JWP’s chief political opponent. If you DO correct/confront him, your 10 closest family members will either get cancer or go to prison for two years. If you make it five years without doing this, you will receive $2 million, tax-free, in a lump sum. But you are not allowed to tell anyone this.

Choice 2: You get $1 million, but it is distributed to you in $10,000 per month increments. To get your monthly installment, you have to go on every local newscast and say something either shockingly racist, sexist, or treasonous in nature, but you can’t pick the same kind of offensive speech twice in a row, and you must use all three. (In other words: you will be seen as shockingly racist, sexist, AND treasonous.) If you do this every month, you get an additional $1 million at the end — about eight years — but you can never tell anyone why you did any of it.

11 comments

  1. #2. Deformed people don’t pull nearly as much wool as Aholes do… Hey-oh!!!

    @ 2:31 pm on February 18, 2011
  2. You have failed to specify what my physical deformity would be.

    @ 4:34 pm on February 18, 2011
  3. I think what you’re really asking is whether we would prefer to be John Wiley Price or John Wiley Price’s little beeyotch. I’d much rather be the person in Choice 2 – a sociopathic d-bag incapable of feeling shame or embarrassment pulling down $120k for my trouble. In other words, John Wiley Price.

    @ 5:14 pm on February 18, 2011
  4. On Option 2, how many years is Tim into his eight-year stint by now?

    @ 5:50 pm on February 18, 2011
  5. Working under this man,not knowing what will set him off,walking on cotton is a very hard way to earn a living.Lot of County employees on nerve medication.

    @ 7:06 pm on February 18, 2011
  6. @RAB: I don’t know what you’re talking about, honky. Now bring me a chicken pot pie, you nancy boy.

    PS: Wick Allison informs for the NSA.

    @ 11:57 pm on February 18, 2011
  7. Ah yes, I had lazagna.

    @ 11:21 pm on February 19, 2011
  8. Leftists love being dominated by the Prices of the world

    continue on JWP, they love it

    @ 6:29 am on February 20, 2011
  9. yoko: Ah yes, and that certainly explains why Jim Schutze has been all up in JWP’s grill for a couple years now.

    @ 10:34 am on February 20, 2011
  10. yoko
    leftist haven’t placed JWP in the national spotlight,however we would totally support someone like sassy sexy sarah palin to represent republicans in the upcoming presidential election.

    Palin/Carrot Top 2012

    @ 2:55 pm on February 20, 2011
  11. Come on now, Ms Betty, why’d you have to go and get all racist with the ‘cotton’ remark?

    @ 12:34 am on February 21, 2011

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