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Making Dallas Even Better

The News‘ New Digital Strategy, Ctd.

The Morning News can’t just put the paper online or in an iPad app and expect people to shell out stacking money every month. Or, at least, they shouldn’t. Here are some features they could include that would make the idea more attractive.

  • Steve Blow reading his columns aloud in his Sunnyvale-burnished, aw-shucks accent.
  • The actual content of Blow’s column distilled into one sentence (example: People are great/not great).
  • A real-time Venn diagram showing how much pop music critic Mario Tarradell’s taste and insight overlaps with anyone ever.
  • Annotated versions of Leslie Brenner’s dining reviews (with links to source material).
  • A filter that automatically turns any story about DISD slightly negative (this will save money, eliminating the two editors responsible for doing so previously)
  • Angry Birds

  • Jerry Minkoff

    How did you get the apostrophe in the headline to do that?

  • Zac Crain

    @Jerry: That’s part of MY digital strategy for 2011 and YOU CAN’T STEAL IT.

  • B. L. Powell

    Brenner will never provide source material. That’s “her little secret.”

  • Bobby Ewing

    Addendum: An interactive game called Harkland Hospital that allows players to manage a bustling urban care provider including the creation of doctor avatars and administrator avatars.

  • Uppercase Matt

    FakeSteveBlow already handles point 2.

  • Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

    Does this mean Cowlishaw will just upload clips of himself from Around the Horn instead of writing anything?

  • Duane

    Okay, Zac. For once and for all, break down for us why you and Tim have such an axe to grind with the DMN and some of their assorted staffers. Y’all snipe at ’em like a jilted high school crush. I love snark as much as the next guy, but it hasn’t been funny (or even particularly snarky) for awhile now.

  • Zac Crain

    @Duane: Because it’s there?

    Being serious, I think you’re actually right: it is like a jilted high school crush. That was the paper I read when I was growing up, and when I was growing up, it was a better paper to read. I still think there are great writers/editors there (Evan Grant, all their investigative writers a few others), but unfortunately, thanks to bad business decisions and untimely departures, what’s left is not up to its former standards. So if we sound bitter, it’s because we (or at least me) are bitter.

    I’m sure a lot of other cities could say the same.

  • Duane

    @Zac Crain: Fair enough. Seeing as how it’s the flagship newspaper for Dallas, you have the right to demand better from them…Especially if you know they’re capable of it in theory and formerly in practice.

    That said, you gotta up your comedy game if you’re going to try and be snarky and funny at their expense. We get it that Mario gushes like Dr. Pepper gum over crappy mainstream pop. That shtick is old. Whatcha done for us lately?

  • Zac Crain

    @Duane: Okay, fine. New target engaged.

  • Jeffrey Weiss

    A Dallas version of Angry Birds would be soooo cool! Knock down the “signature bridge!” Crunch those giant handles or whatever they are off the Convention Center! Totally destroy the entire downtown skyline!

  • DMBurrows

    I’m gonna start a Dallas Times Herald app.

  • The Heretic

    The pansy management needs to hold a meeting and propose the CUE CAT 3.0!

  • PeterK

    and they could have videos of their restaurant critic visiting BBQ joints

  • UC


    Ok, now I have that damn 748-1414 jingle stuck in my head.

  • Hein

    @The Heretic: Ooh, a Cue Cat joke! Zac Crain, are you
    watching? That’s how fresh comedy is done.