I have been told by a highly placed confidential source that if I sweeten my deal to include a high-five, one 20-pack of Capri Sun (fruit punch flavor only — definitely a deal breaker), one Big Ass Fans baseball cap (green preferred), five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact, a digital recording of me singing the chorus to “Dream Police,” and two tickets to paradise, the team is as good as mine.
8 comments
I volunteer to accompany your Dream Police recording with my Guitar Hero guitar on hard. Or expert with a few mistakes. Let me know!
Pack your bags, Zac, we leave tonight.
The Rangers are for sale? Where have I been? Eddie Childs is getting out of the business? Wow!
I will be glad to assist you in the slinging of eff-yous at lawyers. I am expert in trading eff-yous at effers, and I do not usually have to pay any effer to watch them shove a jackhammer up their effing arses. Also, I will punch a man in the mouth in open court if the timing is right.
I can pitch in:
A circa 1979 The Who counterfeit t-shirt purchased outside of the Cotton Bowl. It has never been worn or washed (for fear of disintegration.)
A Mark Maguire rookie card, but is not “the” rookie card.
The willingness to join Wes Mantooth in directing a large volume of f-bombs at attorneys. I really can’t think of anything more effing enjoyable.
I actually have a 20 pack of Capri Sun, minus the three pouches i drank. Also, it’s grape, not fruit punch and apparently expired on March 20th of this year. But i’m willing to do my part and donate it for the cause.
We decided that we’ll put up the Big Ass Fan hat (Kelly green, as specified) in exchange for:
1) Statldium naming rights for 10 years
Or, in the alternative
2) Manager nicknaming rights in perpetuity.
Let us know if we can deal.
– Fanny & the crew at Big Ass Fans
I meant STADIUM naming rights…
(having a hard time typing on the iPhone with my hooves)
– Fanny