So sometimes, when I’ve got a few minutes and there’s no vodka, I search for blogs that talk about Dallas. Today, I found this one called Niners Nation, which is apparently about the cute little San Francisco 49ers.
And I found this post, entitled, “At Least We’re Not … The Dallas Cowboys!” And apparently, I need to explain satire to these adorable little misshapen-headed Niners fans, because it ceases to be satirical if you essentially apologize and insist you’re just joshing both before and after your unimaginative attempt at skewering the Cowboys.
True satire needs no disclaimer.
For instance, I could point out that you’ve been a sad shell of your former self since Montana left, and that would be the truth. I could say that Cowboys fans find you adorable, because we really save most of our abject hatred for the Redskins. That, too, would be the truth.
When you bring up that we grossly overpaid for Roy Williams, we know this. And it’s fact. It’s hardly satirical to point out the obvious. And we thought we were getting this Roy Williams (See what I did there? Satire).
And yes, yes, we know that our quarterback’s last name rhymes with homo. And if he were one, we’d be OK with that. Ironically, you, San Francisco, bring this up, and make it sound like a derogatory thing.
So in conclusion, satire is funny. Come to Dallas, and we’ll teach you it.
14 comments
Actually, even though it pains me to say this as a Cowboys fan…the Niners put together some very sold years after Montana left. They even won a Superbowl. They had a Hall of Fame QB take his place…Steve Young.
How is any of that true. Since Montana left?? What about future hall of famer steve young? Or the amazing job jeff Garcia did? Who are you? Obviously not a niner fan
Next viral internet sensation:
Bethany icing bros.
I love Bethany.
I love that Jason proves my point – Niner fans don’t get satire.
Rather than talk football I would just say SF fans are dumb…quote from the 2nd comment of that post:
“I would be so Freakin happy if we got to play a superbowl in there house nxt season and going one up on them in RINGS”
In “there house”, doesn’t he mean “in that there house”?
Bethany, is that satire?
*sigh* It’s just sad. That’s what that is.
Young rhymes with bung.
Actually, eating poor children would solve quite a few social problems.
Crabtree is a beast, but there is nobody to get the ball to him.
Ha I almost took this article seriously and then I realized it was a woman writing it,ahahaha. Is this really the kind of crap they put in Dallas magazines?
jeff garcia??? didnt he come to the nfc east to ride the pine??? ya he was fantastic. this is just the kind of arguement i would expect out of the fruits nuts and flakes state of california. the cowboys are the highest valued franhise in the world for a reason were the ****.
The reason for the disclamers on the article is that there are too many people who over reacted to an obvious joke. Kind of like you did. Also, the author was doing one for each team in the nfl so stop acting like you’re special because we singled you out. Even Cardinals fans were ok with it. We had a discission with them where we joked back and forth. This is because while I do hate the cards, their fans can recognise a joke and not take it too seriously.
“At least we’re not the DalLOSS Cowboys.”
C’mon, Bethany, you were expecting this third grader to have a handle on satire?