Rica Y Chato: The New TV Series That’s Sweeping the Nation

Yesterday, we talked about two local drug lords who got busted and admitted they were part of La Familia, the Mexican cartel. I thought it was a good premise for a TV show in the vein of, oh, Dexter. The two drug lords, whose real nicknames are Rica and Chato, are anti-heroes. They sell drugs, but they’re good fathers and husbands, just trying to make ends meet. Maybe it’s more The Sopranos meets The George Lopez Show. With that established, I asked Zac to come up with the first episode of the show. He gave it to us in the comments, but I figured it belonged on the top shelf. In case you missed it:

Rica and Chato are disciplining Jesus, a captain in their La Familia drug ring they suspect of skimming money off a few recent deals. Rica is interrupted by a phone call. It sounds urgent. He immediately leaves … to attend his son’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.

Smash cut. Main credits. AWESOME theme song.

Fade back in. Car chase. For no reason. It lasts until the next commercial break.

And we’re back. Now we’re in airplanes. Nothing but sweet, unprovoked and unexplained tag-team action, and Spanish-accented one-liners. There is also a fistfight on the plane that leads to skydiving.

Next commercial.

We’re back with Jesus. Rica has learned something about disciplining his drug gang from disciplining young Rica Jr. at the pizza party. He lets Jesus live, grounding him for two weeks. But…

When Rica’s back is turned, Jesus aims a gun at the back of his head. (He had it hidden or something, or it was lying around — whatever, just go with it.) Gunshot. Rica turns around. Chato is holding a smoking pistol. Jesus is on the floor, dead.

They high-five. Freeze frame.

End credits. Reprise AWESOME theme song.

Goodbye, Eric Celeste

Longtime readers of this blog know the name Eric Celeste from his many blog posts and from his French cuffs. He started here three and a half years ago as our managing editor and then went over to work for our custom division about six months ago. He’ll still work with those fine folks, helping them help companies tell their stories and prosper. But as of today, Eric will no longer be in the office. He’s striking out to launch his own enterprise, the official name of which is still a hotly debated topic (my suggestion, Bearded Bald Man Media, has been rejected).

Eric is celebrating his tenure right now at the Monk (it is telling that only four co-workers showed up to celebrate with him). If you see him later tonight at the Candleroom, sucker-punch him in the gut for me. If you need motivation, here’s a pic of Eric to get your dander up (you can punch me later, too).

Open Letter to the Apple Store Employee Who Sold Me an iPad Today

Dear Apple Store Sales Clerk:

You were efficient and got me out of the store in a jiffy. I appreciate that. And you were right to ask me if I wanted a carry case. Because I wouldn’t have bought one without your suggestion, and now that I have it, I can see that I need it. Thank you for all that.

But why the hell didn’t you ask me whether I was running the Snow Leopard OS? Because, as you surely know, the iPad won’t sync with a computer unless it’s running the newest, fanciest, most expensive Mac OS.

So here my new iPad sits, on my desk. It’s very pretty to look at. But useless.

Let’s Play: Navigating Dallas Quickly

It’s Wednesday. It’s lunch time, and I don’t want to know if you could beat me in a fight, like Zac (short answer, yes, you probably could). Consider this a challenge, Frontburnervians. Factoring in traffic, could you make it from say, far northeast Plano to downtown Dallas in 20 minutes? If so, describe the route you would take.

I want lively debate.  The rules: No name calling, unless it requires a thesaurus. It must be travel in a car, and it must be a car you can actually own, not some fancy concept car you saw on YouTube.

Go!