1. Blockbuster is not dead yet. Late yesterday, the struggling company, whose current business model relies on strapping Betamax tapes to carrier pigeons, announced that it had struck a deal with two more movie studios (Twentieth Century Fox and Sony) to give Blockbuster “enhanced payment terms.” You’ll recall that Blockbuster also recently struck a deal with Warner Bros that allowed the company to rent The Blind Side and Sherlock Holmes a month earlier than Netflix or Redbox got the flicks.
2. DA Craig Watkins’ public integrity unit served Precinct 3 Constable Ben Adamcik and three of his deputies with grand jury subpoenas. Adamcik says he doesn’t know why he’s being ordered to appear before the grand jury on Friday. But here’s an interesting tidbit: one of the deputies served is a woman named Bertha Roop. Last year, Adamcik fired her after a federal drug investigation turned up $70,000 in Roop’s bedroom. But the county’s civil service commission said earlier this year that there was no evidence tying her to the money and gave Roop her job back. Yeah, nothing suspicious there. I mean, there’s lots of stuff in my bedroom that doesn’t belong to me.
3. Two Dallas guys pleaded guilty to federal drug charges and admitted that they were part of La Familia, the Mexican drug cartel. Both have cool nicknames. Ricardo Hernandez-Cruz, 37, is known as “Rica.” Edgar Gomez-Huerta, 31, is known as “Chato.” Per a conversation we had in an edit meeting yesterday about how we all wish there were more TV shows these days named after their main characters (think Hardcastle and McCormick, Starsky and Hutch, Cagney and Lacey), I hereby task Zac with coming up with the plot for the first episode of the anti-hero series called Rica and Chato, about two lovable drug lords that are part of the La Familia cartel. Yes, they sell drugs. But they are good fathers and husbands, just trying to put food on the table the only way they know how.
17 comments
Maybe, to keep the theme, it should be Rica y Chato?
And get Danny Trejo on the horn. There’s no need to even have him audition for the part. (You may not know the name, but you’ll know the face.)
Rica and Chato are disciplining Jesus, a captain in their La Familia drug ring they suspect of skimming money off a few recent deals. Rica is interrupted by a phone call. It sounds urgent. He immediately leaves … to attend his son’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.
Smash cut. Main credits. AWESOME theme song.
Fade back in. Car chase. For no reason. It lasts until the next commercial break.
And we’re back. Now we’re in airplanes. Nothing but sweet, unprovoked and unexplained tag-team action, and Spanish-accented one-liners. There is also a fistfight on the plane that leads to skydiving.
Next commercial.
We’re back with Jesus. Rica has learned something about disciplining his drug gang from disciplining young Rica Jr. at the pizza party. He lets Jesus live, grounding him for two weeks. But…
When Rica’s back is turned, Jesus aims a gun at the back of his head. (He had it hidden or something, or it was lying around — whatever, just go with it.) Gunshot. Rica turns around. Chato is holding a smoking pistol. Jesus is on the floor, dead.
They high-five. Freeze frame.
End credits. Reprise AWESOME theme song.
Pretty good. Except I think it needs to be Rica y Chato. Sounds more authentic.
PS: “Inexcusably”
Rica y Chato it is.
“leaves … to attend his son’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. ”
LMAO
From Urban Dictionary:
- Chato: slang noun meaning short, small or stubby in some cases; to be drunk or intoxicated.; stoned; any male who gives the impression that he is a Mexican mafioso.
From Babynology:
- Rica: rules the home; rich; a girl’s name.
Someone’s going to leave the house tomorrow morning and find a dead pit bull in his driver’s seat.
No broma sobre La Familia, homey.
Eh, it’s okay. I’m in a rental.
@Steve: But aren’t most Mexican drug cartels known for being pretty laid back? Zac will be just fine…
@Steve That’s why I have a Doberman.
Next on Channel 5, Jesus is killed by gunmen at a local Chuck E Cheese. Are your children safe?
Theme song must be written by Mike Post. I suggest something that bears a resemblance to the Rockford Files theme song, only with more accordion.
That’s a given, sir.
I think it would be great if somehow, during the pilot episode, $70,000 of the Rica & Chato’s money turned up in a deputy constables bedroom.
OMG the accordian comment made me laugh OUT LOUD!!
@Crain: I am bowing to your genius. You are my sensai.