Articles for March, 2010
D Magazine NCAA Bracket Pool: I Wish I Had a Hot Tub Time Machine
Good grief. It’s true what Josh Howard said. You really can’t control what the ball do. It’s crazy, man. My bracket is all kinds of busted, what with Kansas and Villanova both spitting the bit. My long-term prospects of winning this thing are grim. But nonetheless and however, if you look at the current standings, out of 212 entrants, my bracket, The Real Housewives of Ennis, is tied for second with thesituation. Our own Zac Crain (Bear With Eagle Head) is tied for ninth. Here’s the top of our leader board, with each bracket’s potential point total, if it wins out:
1 Diaper Dandies 116
2 The Real Housewives of Ennis 103
2 thesituation 95
4 del99 170
4 Sven 114
4 D What? 110
4 The Bracket of El Goodo 98
4 Tim’s Taint 82
9 Bear With Eagle Head 165
9 seen Juan and you’ve seen Amal 161
9 Father of Five Needs Free Food 109
9 goin gonzo 101
It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: good luck to my taint.
Can Tom Hicks Squeeze a Profit Out Of Rangers Sale?
Tom Hicks didn’t get where he is today without making some shrewd business moves. There’s probably some high finance at work here that’s beyond my grasp. And I’m sure Ron Washington has only tried coke once. But if Hicks owes the banks $540 million, and he sells the team for $530 million, how does he expect to keep $90 million from the deal? The Wall Street Journal takes a look at the deal, the sticking point of which centers on the land that Hicks owns next to the stadium.
Presbyterians and Methodists in a Sea of Baptists
This map from Floating Sheep shows Google placemarks by religious affiliation. Baptists are green, Methodists are red, Presbyterians are orangish, Lutherans are blue, Catholics are light blue, and Mormons are purple. Dallas is that little dot of red and orange.
Leading Off (3/22/10)
1. Tod Robberson on the DMN’s opinion blog notices updates to Tom Leppert’s website and makes a reasonable inference: “I can’t figure out why the Leppert people, particularly Web site owner Stan Olshefski, would suddenly have an interest in putting our mayor on Facebook and other sites. I wonder if this is a preliminary step with an eye toward a U.S. Senate campaign.”
2. Is it time to ban cell phones in DISD schools? No, it’s about time.
3. Tuesday is supposed to get up to 76 degrees. That’s right, weather, get in line. And, hey, Delkus, quit it.
Whoa! It Snowed
Did anyone notice that it snowed today?
John Stossel On How Regulation Hurts Cities
It’s a little simple (and surely he could have found a better example than Houston), but still he makes a very valid point.
Why I Hate Local TV News: Reason #4,321
Really, all four stations should combine and use one common tag line: “We Make Mountains Out of Molehills!”
All week, they’ve been trumpeting a planned protest against Oncor. Finally, yesterday, after daily publicity, the Great Protest occurs — and “almost a dozen” people show up. What does “almost a dozen” mean? Eleven? Ten? Ten and a small child? I give WFAA credit, though. Even when nothing came of it, they still had the cojones to run the story again. For which I can only say, it must have been a very sloooow news day. No wars, no health bill, no financial stress, nothing else much going on.
Lance, Radio Host Make Nice After Cycling Flap
Plano native Lance Armstrong had a hissy fit after radio personality Tony Kornheiser criticized people who ride their bikes in the street. Tony made some tongue-in-cheek remark about running ‘em over, it seems, and Lance called Kornheiser disgusting and ignorant. Today they kissed and made up on Tony’s radio show–after the company that owns the station said it was banning the subject of cycling from further discussion.
The thing is, though, what driver around here couldn’t sympathize just a little with Kornheiser’s rant? How many times have you seen a biker, or a group of bikers, plodding along in the right-hand or middle lanes in fast traffic, causing everyone to veer sharply or slam on their brakes to avoid them? Sorry, but this ain’t NYC, with its slow-moving cabs and daredevil bike messengers. Busy streets in big Southwestern cities like Dallas are best left to motorized vehicles–not bikes (or unicycles, or horses, or stilt-walkers, either).
Trinity River: Bad For Eating Fish, Good For Humans
If the headline of this post doesn’t compute, then try wrapping your cerebellum around the following quote from Dallas’ assistant city manager Jill Jordan.
Question: Jill, with the kayaking, that’s a water contact sport, but what about the water quality?
Jill Jordan: The water quality issues that have been recently in the press really dealt with sediment issues, and so it will be fine for the people just in the water.
This exchange comes from a longer Q&A session that was buried after the jump on DMN city hall writer Steve Thompson’s notes from a breakfast given by the Greater Dallas Planning Council Thursday.
Jordan is probably referring to another DMN writer, Randy Lee Loftis, when she talks about coverage of the Trinity’s water quality issues. Loftis’ stories on the Trinity being among the most polluted waters in Texas and the Trinity’s high PCB levels that make its fish poisonous for humans should be required reading if you plan to kayak through the city’s planned standing wave project.
It’s Going to Be That Kind of Day: Dallas Fire Rescues Naked Man on Billboard
Still looking for the story, but it appears the Dallas Fire Department rescued a naked man off a billboard. Right now, there’s a slide show up, courtesy CW33, but there’s no nudity (darn?), just people pointing up and staring. Which is generally, coincidentally, how most of my dreams end.
More, as they say, to come.
UPDATE: Yes, this was fast. It went up quickly. The story, complete with video is here. Generally safe for work, unless your office has a thing against general tomfoolery in the nude. If so, well, proceed with caution. Related: Why do I feel like today should be accompanied by a Benny Hill soundtrack?
Tanker Driver Completes U-Turn on Sam Rayburn Tollway
So this trucker in this tanker allegedly hits a truck while traveling down the Sam Rayburn Tollway yesterday afternoon. Being a “responsible” driver, he/she/it/we/they (seriously, would a pronoun in this story kill someone?) decides to report the wreck himself/herself/itself to a police officer he just passed.
Any other driver probably would’ve exited the tollway, and come back up the using the time-honored tradition of driving on access roads. But not our allegedly well-marinated guy/girl. He/she/it/we/they instead executes a u-turn in the middle of the tollway, and then heads up the wrong way to tell the officer.
Needless to say, the trucker was arrested.
The Dallas Morning News has video. Frankly, I am equal parts impressed and horrified. I’ve seen people in Mini Coopers incapable of executing a u-turn, let alone a tanker. But you know, there’s that whole wrong-way thing, too. Thankfully, there were no major injuries. Or pronouns.
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Big Ads on Buildings Downtown Are a Good Thing, Right?
Even though it may seem like we’re closing in on the mall scene from Minority Report, I’m completely in favor of those huge ads on the sides of buildings downtown. If Palm and Choctaw and movie companies want to hawk their products here, I’m glad they think enough people are downtown to do it there. I’m also a fan of this idea, turning dilapidated downtown storefronts into prime advertising space. It makes the area look more desirable, and makes the owners some scratch. I know Wick likes it. He’s been trying to sell space on the side of our building since we moved in.
New Lease on Life for Victory?
DBJ reports that Cordish Companies out of Baltimore has taken on the task of revitalizing the development.
Leading Off (3/19/10)
1. Sorry, Mean Green. UNT lost to Kansas State last night, 82-62. And Texas lost to Wake Forest, 81-80, in overtime (this will later be omitted from Texas history textbooks, per Chuck Norris’ instructions). And I’m OK with that, because it goes OK with my brackets. However – Marquette, Georgetown, Richmond? You’ve reduced my brackets to an utter wasteland til the Elite 8. (BTW, congrats to ConocoBeerios for leading so far in the FrontBurner NCAA Bracket Pool.)
2. True story: I am pretty sure I scared WFAA meteorologist Pete Delkus by peppering him with questions about his shirtsleeves LAST winter. He won’t respond on Twitter to my pleas for a shirtsleeves status anymore. Which is a crying shame, because he got slap happy last night and threatened everyone with basketball sized hail. He also said he fired Dale Hansen. Clearly Pete Delkus = God, and should not be mocked. But for the record – suit jacket on means you’re safe; shirtsleeves rolled up below the elbow, gird your loins; tank top – look for the wavy rapture thingies in Wick’s picture.
3. Bad news: If you travel on roads in Texas, you have a good shot at dying. I mean, other states are bad, too, but according to a new Reader’s Digest story, which took into account Federal Highway Administration data, Texas is ranked as having the 29th best roads in the country, the 16th deadliest roads, and the data puts Texas in the top 10 in both Deadliest for DUI and Deadliest for Speeding. After suspending your disbelief that Reader’s Digest is still in print, buckle your seatbelt so we can see you on Monday, k? Maybe some protective headgear. Bubble wrap? I worry about you, FrontBurnervians.
4. So the U.S. Office of Special Counsel was all, “Ummmm, that FAA manager let Southwest fly planes that were unsafe. I’m telllllin’.” And then they told President Obama on that manager. If this plays out like it did when I was a kid, everyone will be sent to their rooms for quiet time because Daddy needs a drink and they’ve made Jesus cry.
5. And finally, this is my first Leading Off. Be gentle. I’m not allowed to drink until 3 p.m.
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