Articles for March 19th, 2010

Why I Hate Local TV News: Reason #4,321

Really, all four stations should combine and use one common tag line: “We Make Mountains Out of Molehills!”

All week, they’ve been trumpeting a planned protest against Oncor. Finally, yesterday, after daily publicity, the Great Protest occurs — and “almost a dozen” people show up. What does “almost a dozen” mean? Eleven? Ten? Ten and a small child? I give WFAA credit, though. Even when nothing came of it, they still had the cojones to run the story again. For which I can only say, it must have been a very sloooow news day. No wars, no health bill, no financial stress, nothing else much going on.

Lance, Radio Host Make Nice After Cycling Flap

Plano native Lance Armstrong had a hissy fit after radio personality Tony Kornheiser criticized people who ride their bikes in the street. Tony made some tongue-in-cheek remark about running ‘em over, it seems, and Lance called Kornheiser disgusting and ignorant. Today they kissed and made up on Tony’s radio show–after the company that owns the station said it was banning the subject of cycling from further discussion.

The thing is, though, what driver around here couldn’t sympathize just a little with Kornheiser’s rant? How many times have you seen a biker, or a group of bikers, plodding along in the right-hand or middle lanes in fast traffic, causing everyone to veer sharply or slam on their brakes to avoid them? Sorry, but this ain’t NYC, with its slow-moving cabs and daredevil bike messengers. Busy streets in big Southwestern cities like Dallas are best left to motorized vehicles–not bikes (or unicycles, or horses, or stilt-walkers, either).

Trinity River: Bad For Eating Fish, Good For Humans

If the headline of this post doesn’t compute, then try wrapping your cerebellum around the following quote from Dallas’ assistant city manager Jill Jordan.

Question: Jill, with the kayaking, that’s a water contact sport, but what about the water quality?

Jill Jordan: The water quality issues that have been recently in the press really dealt with sediment issues, and so it will be fine for the people just in the water.

This exchange comes from a longer Q&A session that was buried after the jump on DMN city hall writer Steve Thompson’s notes from a breakfast given by the Greater Dallas Planning Council Thursday.

Jordan is probably referring to another DMN writer, Randy Lee Loftis, when she talks about coverage of the Trinity’s water quality issues. Loftis’ stories on the Trinity being among the most polluted waters in Texas and the Trinity’s high PCB levels that make its fish poisonous for humans should be required reading if you plan to kayak through the city’s planned standing wave project.

It’s Going to Be That Kind of Day: Dallas Fire Rescues Naked Man on Billboard

Still looking for the story, but it appears the Dallas Fire Department rescued a naked man off a billboard. Right now, there’s a slide show up, courtesy CW33, but there’s no nudity (darn?), just people pointing up and staring. Which is generally, coincidentally, how most of my dreams end.

More, as they say, to come.

UPDATE: Yes, this was fast. It  went up quickly. The story, complete with video is here. Generally safe for work, unless your office has a thing against general tomfoolery in the nude. If so, well, proceed with caution. Related: Why do I feel like today should be accompanied by a Benny Hill soundtrack?

Tanker Driver Completes U-Turn on Sam Rayburn Tollway

So this trucker in this tanker allegedly hits a truck while traveling down the Sam Rayburn Tollway yesterday afternoon. Being a “responsible” driver, he/she/it/we/they (seriously, would a pronoun in this story kill someone?) decides to report the wreck himself/herself/itself to a police officer he just passed.

Any other driver probably would’ve exited the tollway, and come back up the using the time-honored tradition of driving on access roads. But not our allegedly well-marinated guy/girl. He/she/it/we/they instead executes a u-turn in the middle of the tollway, and then heads up the wrong way to tell the officer.

Needless to say, the trucker was arrested.

The Dallas Morning News has video. Frankly, I am equal parts impressed and horrified. I’ve seen people in Mini Coopers incapable of executing a u-turn, let alone a tanker. But you know, there’s that whole wrong-way thing, too. Thankfully,  there were no major injuries.  Or pronouns.

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Big Ads on Buildings Downtown Are a Good Thing, Right?

Even though it may seem like we’re closing in on the mall scene from Minority Report, I’m completely in favor of those huge ads on the sides of buildings downtown. If Palm and Choctaw and movie companies want to hawk their products here, I’m glad they think enough people are downtown to do it there. I’m also a fan of this idea, turning dilapidated downtown storefronts into prime advertising space. It makes the area look more desirable, and makes the owners some scratch. I know Wick likes it. He’s been trying to sell space on the side of our building since we moved in.

New Lease on Life for Victory?

DBJ reports that Cordish Companies out of Baltimore has taken on the task of revitalizing the development.

Leading Off (3/19/10)

1. Sorry, Mean Green. UNT lost to Kansas State last night, 82-62. And Texas lost to Wake Forest, 81-80, in overtime (this will later be omitted from Texas history textbooks, per Chuck Norris’ instructions). And I’m OK with that, because it goes OK with my brackets. However – Marquette, Georgetown, Richmond? You’ve reduced my brackets to an utter wasteland til the Elite 8. (BTW, congrats to ConocoBeerios for leading so far in the FrontBurner NCAA Bracket Pool.)

2. True story: I am pretty sure I scared WFAA meteorologist Pete Delkus by peppering him with questions about his shirtsleeves LAST winter. He won’t respond on Twitter to my pleas for a shirtsleeves status anymore. Which is a crying shame, because he got slap happy last night and threatened everyone with basketball sized hail. He also said he fired Dale Hansen. Clearly Pete Delkus = God, and should not be mocked. But for the record – suit jacket on means you’re safe; shirtsleeves rolled up below the elbow, gird your loins; tank top – look for the wavy rapture thingies in Wick’s picture.

3. Bad news: If you travel on roads in Texas, you have a good shot at dying. I mean, other states are bad, too, but according to a new Reader’s Digest story, which took into account Federal Highway Administration data, Texas is ranked as having the 29th best roads in the country, the 16th deadliest roads, and the data puts Texas in the top 10 in both Deadliest for DUI and Deadliest for Speeding.  After suspending your disbelief that Reader’s Digest is still in print, buckle your seatbelt so we can see you on Monday, k? Maybe some protective headgear. Bubble wrap? I worry about you, FrontBurnervians.

4. So the U.S. Office of Special Counsel was all, “Ummmm, that FAA manager let Southwest fly planes that were unsafe. I’m telllllin’.” And then they told President Obama on that manager. If this plays out like it did when I was a kid, everyone will be sent to their rooms for quiet time because Daddy needs a drink and they’ve made Jesus cry.

5. And finally, this is my first Leading Off. Be gentle. I’m not allowed to drink until 3 p.m.

Who Says the Recession is Over? Dallas Home Prices Dip, Foreclosures Rip

The good news: only 137 days on market to move the meat. The bad news: April’s foreclosure rate stabbing me in the eye