5 Questions to be Answered by Tim’s Parade Recap on Monday

1. After 18 years of trial and error, have we found the perfect parade-watching spot?
2. How long does it take to finish a breakfast bottle of champagne?
3. If a Blue Line train and a Red Line train are traveling in separate directions, and an editor with a creepy ’stache and a sombrero exits the Red Line train and tries to hitch a ride on Northwest Highway because he’s an idiot and can’t read maps designed to be understood by homeless people (instead of just taking the train back to Mockingbird Station and then getting on the Blue Line train, like someone who is not an idiot would do), at what point do his friends just leave him behind?
4. Have the editors of D Home included that Jell-O shot recipe in a feature on entertaining at home?
5. Has all photographic evidence been destroyed?