1. Are you feeling “suboptimal” despite the recent “snapback” in the economy? There’s a reason for that. Dallas Fed chief Richard Fisher says when it comes to jobs creation, “We are in for a long slog.” This makes me feel sad.
2. Nationwide, comparing the third quarter to the same period a year ago, home prices are down 11.2 percent. But hang on. In Dallas and Fort Worth, for the first time since the fourth quarter of 2007, home prices have actually gone up — very little, at just .2 percent. Still, though, that’s better than going down, right? This makes me feel happy.
3. Ron White from Euless will compete tomorrow in the three-day World Memory Championships in London. He qualified by becoming the USA Memory Champion after he memorized a 167-digit number in five minutes, among other feats. This makes me feel dumb.
4. Carrie Gehling lost both her legs to diabetes. She needed a kidney. So her pastor at St. Rita Catholic Church, Monsignor Mark Seitz, gave her one of his yesterday. This makes me feel selfish.
5. I’ve established a pattern here that classical joke-writing theory would say needs to be broken for comedic effect. But I can’t figure out how to do it. This makes me finished.
7 comments
I read No. 4 too quickly. I thought Monsignor Seitz gave her a leg.
Reading this makes me feel bring-Adam-back-ish.
This makes me feel sad happy.
Please tell me more about classical joke-writing theory.
Actually, Tim, if you would read the real estate blog I write for our company, http://www.dallasdirt.dmagazine.com, home prices in Dallas have DECREASED slightly since August. That was a measurement recently using figures from an independent company called Altos. Steve Brown was using NAR figures, and the NAR, while I love them, is perpetually more optimistic when it comes to home pricing. But I am glad you are happy. Me, I’m very, very concerned.
@ Candace Evans: I’m sorry. Who are you again?
@Tim: XO