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One of the Minds Behind the @FakeAPStylebook Twitter Feed is Dallas’ Own Ken Lowery

One of the funniest Twitter feeds I follow is @FakeAPStylebook. It’s responsible for such recent greatness as:

Avoid describing Neil Diamond as “mesmerizingly sexy” or “greatest entertainer on face of the planet” as it is redundant.

Replace “situation deteriorated/worsened” with “s*** [just] got real.” Ex: On day three of the hostage crisis, s*** got real.

If the second paragraph of your story begins with “He/she isn’t the only one,” don’t come back to work on Monday.

When composing a story about strange murders, always refuse to believe the kids until it’s too late.

If your story reveals the perpetrator of a crime, it is polite to put a spoiler warning at the top.

Avoid the archaic term “lunatic.” Specify whether the subject suffers from Hulkamania or Macho Madness.

It helps spice things up to insert parentheticals such as “cute” and “won’t last” into wedding announcements.

Yesterday, Wired revealed that one of its creators is Ken Lowery. Who, as it turns out, is also one of the people behind Zeus Comics’ geeky-fun online series The Variants. Point your browsers accordingly.

Mitch Rasansky to Run for Dallas County Judge?

Having heard the rumor, I called former city councilman Mitch Rasansky to ask him if he was, indeed, seriously considering running for Jim Foster’s county judge seat. I got him on the phone, but Rasansky had to call me back. On the other line, he was talking to an irate person who still thought he was a city councilman. Which is awesome. Then, when he called me back, I almost didn’t answer the phone because the caller ID said “Ferrari Dallas.” I asked him why, and he said he was surprised to hear that; they don’t even have caller ID at his office. Twenty-five or 30 years ago, Rasansky said, he used to buy and sell Ferraris. Maybe that’s why it still says that. Again, awesome. (I mean, Mitch Rasansky behind the wheel of a Ferrari?)

So, about that rumor. Rasansky says: “About 10 days ago, I had two calls in concert from people asking me to run. I hadn’t even been considering it. Since then, those two people have gotten other people to call me. … I am thinking about it. I have called some people for some advice. I did attend a commissioners court meeting. … I am weighing in my mind whether I can do good for the city of Dallas. I’m a workaholic; the time isn’t an issue. If I decide to do it, it’s only for my love of the city.”

I don’t know Rasansky well. It’s hard for me to say what to read between the lines. But the guy has worked for the city in one capacity or another for 23 years. Sort of seems like it’s in his blood. I do know this: Wade Emmert is the handpicked Republican gunning for Foster’s seat. I know which way Emmert hopes Rasansky will go.

Texas Tribune Launches (Yawn)

It is unfair to review a restaurant the day it opens, and the same applies to new platforms in journalism.  But today’s unveiling of the state-wide news site headquartered in Austin confirms some of my suspicions about the concept. To sum it up: I don’t care about El Paso or Tyler or most of what else goes on in the state. That’s why I don’t stay umbillically attached all day to the Texas AP wire. And that’s why at first glance this new boy on the block leaves me unimpressed.

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Emily Ramshaw Hearts FrontBurner

The Texas Tribune launched today. I’m sure all you political wonks have already bookmarked it. An alert FBvian pointed out to me that former DMNer Emily Ramshaw lists among her favorite blogs our humble outpost here. We’re tickled. Just as tickled as we are by the clear homage that Evan Smith has paid to D Magazine with the artwork that accompanies one of their first lead stories. On the left, the first issue of D Magazine, in 1974. On the right, the Texas Tribune. (Yeah, yeah. I know. We weren’t the first to do it. Just funnin’.)

A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Safe for a Fourth-Grader?

I’ve written here recently about what great fun is the DTC’s production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. My son, a fifth-grader, also shared his opinion of the show. So a FrontBurnervian sent me the following question:

I know you liked Midsummer’s Night’s Dream, so I need your considered advice. My wife has a friend who wants to take her fourth-grader to the play, but has heard that there are parts that aren’t appropriate for younger kids. She called the theater to ask what, and they told her it was sexual content, and advised her not to bring her child. But they won’t be specific. She’s in a quandary. She would love to take her kid, but she’s a little bit unnerved by the fact that the theater itself advises her not to bring her kid — but won’t tell her specifically what content has the potential to offend. Can you help? Is there [redacted] going on, or what?

The only thing I can think of that might be objectionable: near the end of the play, when Bottom kills himself repeatedly (and hysterically), one of the methods he employs is cutting off his penis. The act is pantomimed. As I say, it’s funny. Most fourth-graders would crack up and not have a problem with it at all. I find it very odd that the box office folks would advise someone not to bring a fourth-grader. I mean, it’s fourth-grade humor. (I mean that in the best possible sense.)

Is Dallas Primed for a Revolution?

On the first full week of every month, I get the pleasure of broadcasting with Adriana Bate on WRR for about a half hour from One Arts. Now that we’ve moved our offices downtown, that means I get to walk down Flora Street for our 11 o’clock date every day. My trip takes me past the Nasher, the Meyerson, the Winspear, and the Wyly. It’s lovely, especially when the weather is as nice as it is today. But I’ve been studying something on my walk that has caught my eye before: the cobblestones (or bricks, really) that pave the sidewalk. In front of the Meyerson, they are a wreck. Some are missing. Many have become dislodged. We don’t get much practice here in the United States, but over in Europe, where they’ve been at it a bit longer, they know that cobblestones make perfect projectiles to throw in times of revolution. All I’m saying is, if the workers rise up and clash with the police down in the Arts District, the police are in for a tough fight.

Dallas Ranks Last For Visitors and Diversity

I love lists, even when they come from Travel & Leisure, which, as far as I can tell, basically makes them up. But that’s okay. We’re big boys. The visitor thing I can understand. It always surprises me that we’re the #1 tourist destination in Texas. But diversity? That’s a low blow. (Blackfaced Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders probably doesn’t help.) And #22 in shopping? Did the the editors bother to check with retailers? I mean, good God, have they ever been to NorthPark?

We Snuck Into The Mansion and Found the New Chef Cooking in the Kitchen

Oh yes we did.

Warren Buffet Goes All-in With BNSF Purchase

Mega-investor Warren Buffet used gambling terminology in describing his $34 billion purchase of Fort Worth-based railroad Burlington Northern Santa Fe: “Most important of all, however, it’s an all-in wager on the economic future of the United States,” said Mr. Buffett. “I love these bets.”

It certainly seems like heartening news when the country’s second-richest man is willing to continue playing his hand. But am I the only one who gets nervous when our entire economic system is likened to a poker game?

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader (Allegedly?) in Blackface

Deadspin has the pictures. The Cowboys are “handling it internally.”

Leading Off (11/3/09)

1. The Texas Lottery Commission ruled that Willis Willis — the 67-year-old out-of-work maintenance man that was tricked out of his $1 million winning ticket — was not the rightful winner. “Guys, I’m really impressed you were able to do that with a straight face,” said Greg F. Underhill, previously thought to be the biggest jerk in the world.

2. When I see a story that starts like this — “Dallas County will hold its first walk-up swine-flu vaccination clinic Wednesday, a carefully staged event that could go perilously wrong if too many people show up demanding shots” — the first thing that jumps into my mind is NOT “well planned.”

3. “Dallas Hosts National Prostitution Conference.” The story is a bit more nuanced than that, but I’ll stick with Fox 4’s headline.