1. T. Boone Pickens has endorsed Rick Perry in the gubernatorial race. To make the announcement, Pickens held a press conference at his BP Capital headquarters, located in a fortress buried deep under an active volcano. When a reporter asked about his poor decision to side with Perry, Pickens simply stroked a white Persian cat sitting in his lap and said, “I have my reasons.”
2. The plot thickens in the lawsuit over the Bush library site. The judge who was presiding over the case has suddenly recused himself, for reasons that are unclear — though one leading theory has it that Dick Cheney became aware that the judge was set to rule against SMU, so he kidnapped the judge’s wife and locked her in an underground dungeon in the woods where he keeps several maidens chained up in a labyrinth of holding cells.
3. Why, God, have you foresaken us?! How can this be? No! First Dallas’ reputation was permanently stained by the Kennedy assassination, and now we’ve lost to Atlanta in a bid to lure the College Football Hall of Fame to our city. Please, Mary Suhm, put Mayor Leppert on suicide watch. Either that, or hit him with a dose of gamma radiation that will enable him to transform into a raging beast that can exact our revenge on Atlanta.
7 comments
I don’t think of Atlanta as a hot bed of college football. Not that Dallas is either, but Dallas is known for football and Texas/OU weekend.
Oh well, it would’ve been neat to have it here.
Maybe Mayor Tom could increase in size to the point where his hands were in proper scale.
Your Cheney theory doesn’t hold water. They’re definitely not maidens. Any more.
Atlanta has a bowl game, a kickoff classic game on opening weekend, the SEC championship game and is the biggest media market in the SEC footprint. It also has a living, breathing downtown, which is where they’ll put the Hall of Fame.
Can’t sell what you ain’t got, unless of course you want to have the taxpayers build a convention center hotel.
I’m sure there’s a way we can blame Laura Miller.
Didn’t realize that about Atlanta… They will also have two D1 programs there with Georgia Tech and Georgia State (they start football next year).
Atlanta also has figured out how to get their rail system to take you from the airport to downtown, with the station right at the airport terminal.