Articles for August, 2009
Dumbest Threatening Email Of The Month
The month isn’t over yet, but I think it’s fair to say that this one will win the prize [contact information redacted]:
From: C. Bruce Willis II
To: Glenn Hunter
Subject: CEO D-Magazine
Dear Mr. Hunter:
I represent Aircorp, Inc., who owns the 727 aircraft photographed in D-Magazine’s latest CEO Edition. The specific page of the aircraft is located on page 53, concerning Frederick Merril. This aircraft was used in your magazine for a commercial use without any prior written or oral consent and without any acknowledgment in the magazine of aircraft ownership. To avoid any judicial intervention and to resolve the matter amicably, we would like printed acknowledgment concerning this aircraft in your next issue. Please give me a call if you have any questions. Thank you very much.
Sincerely,
C. Bruce Willis, II
General Counsel, Aircorp
Dallas, Texas
(1) The aircraft was not “used for a commercial purpose.” It was in the background of an editorial photograph. Mr. Willis apparently missed that class in law school. (2) It was parked at Dallas Love Field, which is public property. (3) We are not obliged to list the owners of every object included in every photograph in our magazines. Under Mr. Willis’ novel legal theory, every photo of the Dallas skyline would be required to list the owners of every building pictured. (4) What kind of “judicial intervention” does Mr. Willis have in mind? Is he going to rush down to the courthouse to try to keep us from publishing a magazine that has already been published? (5) If the objective of Mr. Willis’s letter was to obtain a public mention of Aircorp, Inc., the objective has now been achieved.
I assume that resolves the matter amicably. Let’s shake hands.
Leading Off (8/18/09)
1. A Dallas County sheriff’s deputy was fired, and 14 other deputies were disciplined, for working at strip clubs in their off hours. The deputy who was fired also had been disciplined before, once for not reporting his phone number had changed and once for being untruthful. The lesson: I could never be a Dallas County sheriff’s deputy.
2. Police arrested a man and his son for the assault of a Southlake woman in a Chik-fil-A drive-through lane. The woman had honked at the men when she was ready to leave, because they were blocking her exit. Yes, I, too, hope the other inmates hear that they beat up a woman. I think they’ll treat those boys real nice.
3. Can’t improve on the lead from this story from the Star-T:
A man suspected of driving drunk is accused of ramming three cars early Sunday on a service road and a parking lot, making a U-turn on the road, and attacking one car with his pickup truck, police said today. Police arrested the driver after his truck became disabled and he got out of it, punched himself in the face, and sat down.
How Real Is AMC’s Mad Men?
Very real, according to this interview with Dallas ad genius Ray Trapp, who was at Madison Avenue’s Olgivy & Mather in the day.
True Blood Does True Dallas Backdrop, Ctd.
No more emails! Thank you! (Maybe we should bring back comments.)
Correction #1
It has a current storyline set in Dallas, but the actual series is set in the fictional town of Bon Temps, La. And I wager that the reason we haven’t seen much Dallas scenery in the show is because a) as far as I know, we don’t have a luxury hotel for vampires, b) we don’t have any known vampire nests and c) we don’t have a wacky church hellbent on killing vampires.
Correction #2
They’ve had a fly-by skyline shot of Dallas in previous episodes. Granted, not much of a shot, but as much as they had in the last episode.
Tom Delay To Be On Dancing With The Stars
When I saw this item sent to me by a FrontBurnervian, I thought it was from The Onion.
Nope. It’s true. Your favorite former Republican Majority Leader and current commentator on Any-Political-Show-That-Will-Take-Him will put on his dancing shoes this fall. The season starts September 21.
I, for one, will be there.
True Blood Does True Dallas Backdrop
The HBO hit is supposedly set in Dallas. Apparently that has been weird because not one speckle of Dallas has made it into the series — until last night. At about the 3:31 mark of this (bootlegged?) video, the newscast features — lookee here! — a Dallas skyline.
What’s Next for KERA at Pledge Time, Ctd.
KERA-loving FBvians contend I haven’t been watching enough of the station. Says one:
The fact is that public television regularly and “reliably” programs stuff like “Hank Williams, doo-wop singers, the Lawrence Welk show and Elvis.” So, in other words, you’re complaining that at pledge time they choose, from their regular array of programs, those that are more broadly appealing from a ratings standpoint, when they’re trying to raise money. Got it. You write about business, Glenn. All kinds of business. But you aren’t really in business, are ya now?
Adds another:
I find your comment is the one that actually is “disconnected.” I would think that anyone with any business acumen would understand that no one likes pledge drives, even us die-hard fans (which I am) and so, KERA takes the opportunity to lure us with things we won’t turn elsewhere for… (obviously during pledge drives I could find my news elsewhere without listening through the “tin cup rattling”). BUT, I won’t be able to find a documentary on Elvis or a Sarah Brightman concert (as I watched the last pledge drive). Maybe YOU don’t understand that since … you have a serious case of bias going on. (And worth mentioning, one without any serious evidence.)
But, at least one found some merit to the point:
My “favorite” weird KERA pledge-drive programming is the Blenko Glass Company film — a very strange choice indeed. In fact, I don’t pledge to the TV station anymore, just to 90.1.
The “Dressed In Warm Clothes” Bandit Strikes Again, Needs New Nickname
This time, it was North Richland Hills, making it five in two weeks. The man — “who has dressed in mostly unseasonably warm clothing” — has also hit banks in Hurst, Fort Worth, and Burleson. If he keeps it up, he needs a new moniker. “Dressed In Warm Clothes” Bandit (which isn’t an official nickname) just won’t do. Ideas? Mr. Freeze is taken.
Cameron Sharpe Out at iJango
When last we checked in with Cameron Sharpe, he was attempting to use an MLM model to make money off Google with a firm called iJango. Even if that notion doesn’t make any sense, he was looking handsome doing it. But now the company and Sharpe have parted ways. This is from an e-mail sent out a couple days ago to iJango independent reps from CEO Rayner Smith:
In this Internet age, any individual can quickly launch public attacks through the use of inexpensive blogging tools. Unfortunately, we have become the target of a blogger who calls himself “Click Sniper”. … The vast majority of Click Sniper’s claims revolve around Cameron Sharpe. We wish Mr. Sharpe continued success in turning his life around (see Mr. Sharpe’s personal webpage at www.cameronbsharpe.com). Nevertheless, his past personal issues have become the major distraction for this company. Therefore, this will confirm that Mr. Sharpe has agreed to not have any ownership interest in the company. He is not an executive of the company. ..
Sharpe’s site is worth a visit if you have some time to kill — though when he gets to the part where he says he was snorting an eight ball of cocaine every day, I’d prefer a few more sordid details. You know, maybe a car chase, casual sex, something.
Arlington Loves Fast Food Joints
Besides two cool stadiums and one pretty cool bar (Cave’s Lounge), Arlington is apparently also known for its addiction to fast-food joints. That’s according to Men’s Health’s September issue, which named Arlington the No. 1 “Urban Waistland” in the country. It’s supposedly a measure of how addicted the residents are to fast food. For some reason, I can’t find the full list on the site, but Arlington is No. 1, Fort Worth No. 17, and Dallas No. 37. The mag’s methodology is pretty random (number of McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger Kings, and Taco Bells per capita + percentage of folks who say they eat fast food + obesity statistics), but, hey, it made me crave an Angry Triple Whopper (1360 calories, thank you), so who am I to complain?
Erykah Badu Talks Twitter on Babble
An alert FBvian points us to this Q&A with Erykah Badu on the parenting site Babble. A sample of the Qs and As:
Q: What made you want to tweet while giving birth?
A: “Questlove said, ‘I bet you won’t Twitter while you’re in labor.’” I was dared to do it. Actually, Questlove of The Roots – he said, “I bet you won’t Twitter while you’re in labor.” I said, “I bet I will.” So I did. I tweeted about what was happening with the birth between contractions.
I can’t tell you how many zany things Questlove has goaded me into using that same dare strategy. Damn him.
What’s Next for KERA at Pledge Time: A Special About NASCAR–or How to Paint on Black Velvet?
Whenever you want to learn more about destitute farmers, evil businessmen and the miracle of Cuban health care, you can reliably turn to programming on KERA. Except, for some reason, during its pledge drives. If the station’s rattling the tin cup–as it is now–look for stuff like specials on Hank Williams, doo-wop singers, the Lawrence Welk show and Elvis, all sweaty in his white jumpsuit. If not exactly dishonest, doesn’t this tack indicate a big disconnect, at least? Thankyouverymuch.
Why I Love Martellus Bennett
Mike Doocy had an interview last night with Martellus Bennett (aka Marty B). After Marty B realized that he’d been wearing his t-shirt backwards for the entire practice (”That’s why it feels like it’s been choking me.”), Doocy asked him where he gets his sense of humor. Marty B paused before answering ironically: “Jesus.” Doocy didn’t quite know how to take it.
Also, when Doocy did a word-association drill with him, Marty B, when asked what popped into his head when he heard the words “Martellus Bennett,” said, among other things: “Fifty percent black, 50 percent awesomeness.”
Highland Park Village Theater Will Reopen in May
So says Stephen Summers, Highland Park Village partner and director of leasing. Overheard has all the details.
Voting Starts Today for the 10 Most Beautiful Women in Dallas
Perhaps you are familiar with this competition? We accepted nominations from you, dear readers, and we interviewed our favorites to select the 20 finalists you see here. These women are more than just pretty faces. You can vote once a day, every day, for the next three weeks. So go do it.
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