Articles for July, 2009

Jenny the Elephant Gets a New Friend

No, not Lily Tomlin. Or Angela Hunt. Or that person who complained in the comments that I hated animals. (Erroneous!) No, it’s Gypsy, a 27-year-old companion who arrived in March, but was just introduced to Jenny.

posted by Zac Crain | July 14th, 2009 3:29pm | filed under Animals |

Bad Guy Lesson No. 48: Don’t Brag About How Much Money You Got Way With

Because if you do, someone may try to rob you. Then, a gunbattle may ensue. No fun.

And it’s not like they weren’t going to get caught, anyway. After a simple burglary in Euless turned into a huge score when they found a safe stocked with nearly $60,000, the burglars went a little crazy. As noted in the Star-T story:

For the next several days, the burglars went off on an extravagant spending spree, buying a Nissan on eBay and a Cadillac Eldorado, staying at expensive hotels, purchasing clothes and jewelry, a block of marijuana and gold grills for their teeth, police said.

posted by Eric Celeste | July 14th, 2009 2:45pm | filed under Crime, Local News |

American Flag Under Attack In North Dallas!! Details at 10….

J. D. Miles of CBS11 reports that some miscreant has burned the flag in front of Ed Jordan’s Preston Villas home — twice. And it makes such an irresistable headline (”Vandals Burning American Flags in Texas Neighborhoods”) Drudge has picked it up. Which means you’ll be seeing it  tonight all over CNN, Fox, and MSNBC. Good one, J.D.

posted by Wick Allison | July 14th, 2009 2:40pm | filed under Crime, Media |

Lawmakers Agree With Petrified Local Editor That We’re Not Talking Enough About A FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE In A Southwest Airlines Jet

So they’re threatening to grill Southwest Airlines and the FAA to get some answers. William Shatner wouldn’t have it any other way.

posted by Eric Celeste | July 14th, 2009 2:13pm | filed under Local News |

Perot Systems Foresees A Bonanza In Computerizing Health Records

To say that the government campaign to computerize medical records is being “closely watched” by outfits like Perot Systems, as the DMN did today, is a bit of an understatement. In fact, Perot insiders believe the effort could lead to a major bonanza for the Plano company, which is already a huge player in health care technology. So major, some think, it may wind up rivaling the success that Ross Sr.’s EDS enjoyed while feasting on Medicare and Medicaid business back in the ’60s.

posted by Glenn Hunter | July 14th, 2009 1:46pm | filed under Business, Health & Medicine, Local News |

Vanessa Gavalya Takes a Pretty Picture of George Strait

Huzzah to sometime D Magazine freelance photographer Vanessa Gavalya, who took the photo that graces the cover of George Strait’s new album, Twang. CMT says the pic “shows a whole new side to Strait: His bad-boy-country-cowboy-roughneck sexy side.”

posted by Tim Rogers | July 14th, 2009 1:09pm | filed under Music |

Watch This Video If You Hate Your Eyes

There are so many things that are so awesome about this video that I can’t even tell you. I agree with CityCrush host Wendi McGowan: “Yummers!”

posted by Tim Rogers | July 14th, 2009 9:50am | filed under Entertainment |

Leading Off (7/14/09)

1. An Irving City Council member wants an investigation into the Dallas Cowboys practice facility collapse. That’s important news, but it’s not what’s really on my mind this morning.

2. More signs are being added to tell folks, “Hey, you’re going the wrong way on the Dallas North Tollway. Please go the other way now.” That, too, seems like the sort of item that would get me a’pontificatin’, but I’ve got something else bugging me this morning.

3. No, what I’d like to discuss is that Southwest Airlines has ordered the inspection of about 200 planes. Why? Well, I’m glad you asked. You see, it appears that, during mid-flight, a FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE OPENED UP IN THE PLANE! Do you know how big that is? That means you could THROW A FREAKING FOOTBALL THROUGH IT! People could SEE THE SKY! I’m about to lose my water just typing this. Have you seen the opening scene of Lost? Do you know how girl-like my shriek would have been if a FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE “opened up” during my flight? (Which, btw, made “the loudest roar I’d ever heard,” according to the poor dude whose seat was RIGHT BENEATH THE FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE.) I just want to suggest that if a FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE “opened up” RIGHT ABOVE ME on a flight, a fist-sized hole would immediately open in my sternum, because I would PULL OUT MY OWN HEART AND HURL IT AT THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT TO GET ME THE EFF OUT OF THERE!

That said, the plane landed safely, everyone applauded the pilot, and air travel is very safe.

posted by Eric Celeste | July 14th, 2009 8:41am | filed under Local News, Politics, Sports, Transportation |

Kay Bailey Hutchison Officially Running, Ctd.

Eric, that $6.7 million was money recently raised. She already had $6 million in her Senatorial campaign account. So the lady starts with over $12 million in the bank. I may be struggling with my political pants, but I can count.

There was another bit of key news, btw. If I understand correctly, she will officially announce next month. That means she will resign. And that means the governor will appoint a new United States Senator. So Hutchison’s opponent will appoint Hutchison’s (temporary) replacement. This is getting fun. To hell with my political pants. I’m ready for this thing in my political underwear.

posted by Wick Allison | July 13th, 2009 7:29pm | filed under Politics |

What Wrecking-Ball Blond Will Tony Romo Date Next?, Ctd.

Hall-of-Fame commenter Wes Mantooth one-ups me with this:

Zac, if ever a post deserved comment-ability, it’s one with an issue as serious as this.

However, your list somehow avoids country-music singing blondes, a subset of the fairer sex to which both of his most recent exes belong (even if Jessica’s album was dreck — but to me, that describes her entire oeuvre). Your list should be more along these lines:

Taylor Swift (once she becomes legal)
Kellie Pickler (so much humor to be found in that last name)
Kate and Kacey (twins! Blondes! Huzzah!)
Holly Williams (granddaughter of Hank!)
Miranda Lambert (maybe he does better on Lambert Field. Doh!)
LeAnn Rimes! (Local angle! Questionable on the blonde part though.)

My favorite choice though is Lady Gaga. Totally out of left field.

Mantooth, out.

Miss you, pal.

posted by Zac Crain | July 13th, 2009 6:05pm | filed under Celebrity, Sports |

What Wrecking-Ball Blond is Next For Tony Romo?

Now that the Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson split is semi-official, the question becomes: What wrecking-ball blond will the Dallas Cowboys QB date next? Because this is happening, people. It’s a pattern, and it is unstoppable. He can’t help himself. Even if the female in question seems rock-solid, their relationship will inevitably derail the upcoming Cowboys season, so let’s all just get comfortable with it and start coming up with a portmanteau to assign to it. A list, off the top of my ever-graying head:

• Hayden Panettierre
• Paris Hilton
• Kate Hudson
• Tila Tequila
• Lindsay Lohan
• AnnaLynne McCord

posted by Zac Crain | July 13th, 2009 4:15pm | filed under Celebrity, Sports |

Kay Bailey Hutchison Officially Running For Texas Governor (Sorta)

Bud Kennedy blogs the announcement of $6.7 million raised by her camp. Then she says, “I’m running.” Then she says the formal announcement won’t be until next month. Um, okay.

And, yes, that sound you hear is Wick struggling to get his political pants on. (He’s put on a few lbs since November.)

posted by Eric Celeste | July 13th, 2009 2:21pm | filed under Politics |

Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson Split, Ctd.

An alert FBvian points us to People magazine’s site, which is also now running the story. Geeze, first Billy Mays died. Now this.

posted by Tim Rogers | July 13th, 2009 2:07pm | filed under Celebrity |

Bad News On The Dallas Retail Front, Ctd.

While Dallas is indeed down 21.5%, as the Comptroller reported last week, a large refund from an audit bumped last year’s receipts for Dallas.  Not including last year’s bump, Dallas is down 5.9% — which is still bad but not nearly as bad in comparison to the other major cities in Texas.

posted by Wick Allison | July 13th, 2009 2:01pm | filed under Hold On To Your Effin Hat, Local News, Shopping |

Hurry! We’ve Got Tickets For a Trio of Shows at the Palladium Ballroom and The Loft

Courtesy of our friends at The Loft and the Palladium Ballroom, we have five pairs of tickets to each of the following shows:

• Broken Social Scene (8/7) (UPDATE: sorry — all BSS tix are now spoken for)
• Dungen/Woods (8/22) (UPDATE: and these are gone now, too)
• Fruit Bats (9/1)

I’m not going to break down each show like a fraction, but I will say I would probably go to all three. Anyway, here is the deal: send me an e-mail (with the subject line “thanks, economy”) listing your favorite un-ironic dance move and which show you’d like to go see. First come, first served.

posted by Zac Crain | July 13th, 2009 1:59pm | filed under Events, Giveaways, Music |
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