Last night, we took a break from questions about Kiptyn’s weird kissing, Ed’s possible medical maladies, international travels, and Jillian’s bad grammar. Ok, Jillian’s bad grammar is always present–even in studio. And that’s where we were, fine friends. It’s the “Men Tell All” episode–a complete waste of two hours wherein the men complain, get indignant about something called the “man code,” and talk about what a wonder Jillian is (without irony). But most of all, it is two hours of trashing Wes, a man who isn’t even there to defend himself. Weirdly enough, I think Chris Harrison is far angrier about Wes’ alleged deception than even Jillian. So, here’s the deal: I’m not going to document this thing hardcore. Let’s save the over-analysis (which causes paralysis, by the way) for next week. Instead, let’s jump to talk about certain people.
It’s a little unclear what, exactly, went down. But Josh Hixson over on DallasDirt has the story about the National Association of Realtors goofing up when it said how many homes had been sold in the first quarter compared to the same period last year. Hey, mistakes happen.
A sack-of-kittens-loving FBvian just shot me a link to our beloved founder’s Wikipedia page. Wick, you might want to sic your fact-checking squad on them. Unless it’s accurate. If so, may I say you look great for someone who is 91 years old. I mean, young. You’re 91 years young.
Remember a few weeks back when we had some fun with Dallas Morning News music critic Mario Tarradell? How about now? Well, I may be “repellent and self-indulgent” (and, also, a “hard-drinking, chain-smoking, book-writing sonofabitch”), but I can still spot a lousy music critic. Do you see where I’m going with this?
A same-industry-working FBvian sent me a link to Mario’s latest opus, a review of Sunday’s Aerosmith/ZZ Top double bill at Starplex. (Yeah, I’m still calling it that.) A few highlights (?) after the jump.
Find out how on ShopTalk. (No, you don’t have to be hot.)
What with all the hazing of summer interns and so forth, I’ve been too busy to mention several recent reviews of Zac’s book, Black Tooth Grin. Herewith, then, I bring you a roundup of said reviews, with my commentary thereon.
The Star-Telegram. Reviewer: Preston Jones. Excerpt: “[T]he play-by-play interspersed with suppositions and theories about the killer’s motives is at once repellent and self-indulgent. It’s a sizable stumble in a book that has already courted plenty of controversy; injecting oneself into the key event only reinforces suspicions of opportunism.Put simply, when Crain has access — witness his dazzling, heartbreaking 2008 D Magazine profile of country legend Charley Pride — he can slip inside a musician’s skin like few other writers in the area.” Tim’s take: you know what I find repellent and self-indulgent? The “at once” construction, especially when it’s not employed properly. NB: “At once” should set up the reader for a dichotomy. Example: “At once beautiful and horrific.” That said, I wholeheartedly concur. Zac is repellent and self-indulgent. Oh, and you clearly didn’t read the first draft of that Charley Pride story. Zac put the “ink” in the “stink.”
The Dallas Morning News. Reviewer: Matt Weitz. Excerpt: “As for the sex and drugs, all we learn is that Dimebag had a girlfriend. Pantera owned a topless bar, for heaven’s sake; it’s hard to imagine there aren’t some stories there. And although the booze thing is well-documented, considering that Abbott was part of a band whose lead singer (Phil Anselmo) suffered one of the highest-profile heroin overdoses in the last 20 years, all we get are some vague references to marijuana and pills. It would be hard for a local journalist (Crain is an editor at D Magazine) working on his first book to swing the weight necessary to cajole people into telling stories that they did not necessarily wish to tell. There’s nothing in Black Tooth Grin to suggest that Crain might not one day break through.” Tim’s take: There is the absence of nothing in this review that does not belie Weitz’s jealousy of Zac. But that could just be me.
Quick. Writer: Hunter Hauk. Excerpt from Q&A: “Hauk: ‘[W]hat was the most frustrating part of the writing process?’ Crain: ‘The timing. I had a full-time job, I was running for mayor of Dallas and my son was 2 years old. I had, basically, three full-time jobs. So I would go to work, sometimes have to do mayor stuff, come home, hang out with the family for a few hours. I’d chill out for an hour and then start writing around 11:30. … So I’d stay up until 3 or 4, fall asleep on the couch and get up a couple of hours later. So I was surviving on two hours of sleep a night. I put on 20 pounds in short order because I was drinking those Starbucks Double Shots and Dr Pepper and smoking two packs a day.’” Tim’s take: If I understand this right, Zac is establishing his own mythology here. That way, when he is shot at his computer, while he’s, say, putting up a post about an aborted Mavs trade or something, his biographer will be able to write about what a hard-drinking, chain-smoking, book-writing sonofabitch he was. Like Hemingway. Only a better father.
In lieu of comments, this will have to do. After the jump, memories of Spy magazine and word that (gasp!) John From Arlington might not actually be a member of FB Nation.
Remember this? Not long after I posted that, the man behind the fake Jonah Hill Twitter account sent me an e-mail. His name is John Esquivel, and he’s a comedy writer, and fan of FrontBurner. Our short e-mail Q&A is after le jump.
A small-business-owning FBvian says we’re on to something:
Keep pushing about the city of Dallas switching to gmail. It’s a great idea that could save the city a lot of money and improve their email reliability and search ability. My company (albeit much smaller than the City of Dallas) switched to Google’s enterprise edition about a year ago — one of the smartest business decisions I’ve made. At full price, Google charges just $50 per employee, and they handle everything to do with email, as well as provide a number of word-processing and other functions in the “cloud.” With 13,000 employees, the City could strike a deal.
Even if the city of Dallas never used the apps and only used the email services, they would be able to completely get themselves out of the business of managing, storing and maintaining (and repairing) their email for just $650,000 a year. Ultimately, they could rid themselves of their email servers all together (and the manpower required to keep them running) and get virtually unlimited storage space — and powerful search functions to aid with informational requests.
1. As if the towing business wasn’t shady enough, the Dallas Morning News reports that two Dallas County constables have “embarked on aggressive and unregulated towing operations using a company with a troubled history in the auto-salvage business.” That’s a rather objective way of saying, if you’ve ever been towed by Dowdy Ferry Auto Services, blame constables Derick Evans and Jaime Cortes. Oh, and, yes, the owner of the towing company has contributed to both their campaigns.
2. Those nice young boys knocking on your door and offering to sell you an alarm system? I know this may shock you, so prepare yourself: it could be a scam.
3. Richardson plant store owners set up security cameras to catch a burglar stealing their inventory. They called the cops after they watched the tape, even though the thief turned out to be a monkey. (”You really aren’t going to believe this …”) Monkey’s motive? Home decorating project? Or just spruce up the back yard? I guess it could be the same thing, huh?
Have you nominated your wife/mother/girlfriend/mom/friend/sister/co-worker for the 10 Most Beautiful Women in Dallas? No? Well, today’s the last day. So get to it.