Articles for July 14th, 2009

TV With Laura: The Bachelorette Recap Episode IX

It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times. It was a night when we saw more of Jillian than we should see at a family hour. It was an evening full of forced DTRs and awkward kissing. There were mankinis, bad suits, and leaps of faith. And most importantly, it was last night that we learned that the letters “E” and “D” aren’t merely letters used to spell “Ed.” It can stand for terrible things. Things that shouldn’t make guest appearances on network television–and never on “reality” television. So let’s scratch the whole “best of times,” shall we? It was the worst of the worst times. Let’s recap this mess after the jump.

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posted by Laura Kostelny | July 14th, 2009 9:40pm | filed under Television |

Jenny the Elephant Gets a New Friend

No, not Lily Tomlin. Or Angela Hunt. Or that person who complained in the comments that I hated animals. (Erroneous!) No, it’s Gypsy, a 27-year-old companion who arrived in March, but was just introduced to Jenny.

posted by Zac Crain | July 14th, 2009 3:29pm | filed under Animals |

Bad Guy Lesson No. 48: Don’t Brag About How Much Money You Got Way With

Because if you do, someone may try to rob you. Then, a gunbattle may ensue. No fun.

And it’s not like they weren’t going to get caught, anyway. After a simple burglary in Euless turned into a huge score when they found a safe stocked with nearly $60,000, the burglars went a little crazy. As noted in the Star-T story:

For the next several days, the burglars went off on an extravagant spending spree, buying a Nissan on eBay and a Cadillac Eldorado, staying at expensive hotels, purchasing clothes and jewelry, a block of marijuana and gold grills for their teeth, police said.

posted by Eric Celeste | July 14th, 2009 2:45pm | filed under Crime, Local News |

American Flag Under Attack In North Dallas!! Details at 10….

J. D. Miles of CBS11 reports that some miscreant has burned the flag in front of Ed Jordan’s Preston Villas home — twice. And it makes such an irresistable headline (”Vandals Burning American Flags in Texas Neighborhoods”) Drudge has picked it up. Which means you’ll be seeing it  tonight all over CNN, Fox, and MSNBC. Good one, J.D.

posted by Wick Allison | July 14th, 2009 2:40pm | filed under Crime, Media |

Lawmakers Agree With Petrified Local Editor That We’re Not Talking Enough About A FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE In A Southwest Airlines Jet

So they’re threatening to grill Southwest Airlines and the FAA to get some answers. William Shatner wouldn’t have it any other way.

posted by Eric Celeste | July 14th, 2009 2:13pm | filed under Local News |

Perot Systems Foresees A Bonanza In Computerizing Health Records

To say that the government campaign to computerize medical records is being “closely watched” by outfits like Perot Systems, as the DMN did today, is a bit of an understatement. In fact, Perot insiders believe the effort could lead to a major bonanza for the Plano company, which is already a huge player in health care technology. So major, some think, it may wind up rivaling the success that Ross Sr.’s EDS enjoyed while feasting on Medicare and Medicaid business back in the ’60s.

posted by Glenn Hunter | July 14th, 2009 1:46pm | filed under Business, Health & Medicine, Local News |

Vanessa Gavalya Takes a Pretty Picture of George Strait

Huzzah to sometime D Magazine freelance photographer Vanessa Gavalya, who took the photo that graces the cover of George Strait’s new album, Twang. CMT says the pic “shows a whole new side to Strait: His bad-boy-country-cowboy-roughneck sexy side.”

posted by Tim Rogers | July 14th, 2009 1:09pm | filed under Music |

Watch This Video If You Hate Your Eyes

There are so many things that are so awesome about this video that I can’t even tell you. I agree with CityCrush host Wendi McGowan: “Yummers!”

posted by Tim Rogers | July 14th, 2009 9:50am | filed under Entertainment |

Leading Off (7/14/09)

1. An Irving City Council member wants an investigation into the Dallas Cowboys practice facility collapse. That’s important news, but it’s not what’s really on my mind this morning.

2. More signs are being added to tell folks, “Hey, you’re going the wrong way on the Dallas North Tollway. Please go the other way now.” That, too, seems like the sort of item that would get me a’pontificatin’, but I’ve got something else bugging me this morning.

3. No, what I’d like to discuss is that Southwest Airlines has ordered the inspection of about 200 planes. Why? Well, I’m glad you asked. You see, it appears that, during mid-flight, a FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE OPENED UP IN THE PLANE! Do you know how big that is? That means you could THROW A FREAKING FOOTBALL THROUGH IT! People could SEE THE SKY! I’m about to lose my water just typing this. Have you seen the opening scene of Lost? Do you know how girl-like my shriek would have been if a FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE “opened up” during my flight? (Which, btw, made “the loudest roar I’d ever heard,” according to the poor dude whose seat was RIGHT BENEATH THE FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE.) I just want to suggest that if a FOOTBALL-SIZED HOLE “opened up” RIGHT ABOVE ME on a flight, a fist-sized hole would immediately open in my sternum, because I would PULL OUT MY OWN HEART AND HURL IT AT THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT TO GET ME THE EFF OUT OF THERE!

That said, the plane landed safely, everyone applauded the pilot, and air travel is very safe.

posted by Eric Celeste | July 14th, 2009 8:41am | filed under Local News, Politics, Sports, Transportation |