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People Who Hate Dallas, First in a Series: David Yearsley

David Yearsley, a Cornell University professor, is the latest in a long line of people who hate our city without ever really coming here to see if they actually hate it (and, by extension, us) or if they just think they do. Fortunately, someone gave him a forum:

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to hear a performance of Così fan tutte next year in the Dallas Opera’s inaugural season in their new house. But I can think of few worse things than making my way through the encircling blight to this Jerusalem of the Arts shining on the benighted concrete prairie.

His entire argument is built on press releases, a few clicks of Google Street View, and plenty of tired old saws (i.e. “big-haired ladies and their Stetson-topped men snooze more easily through Lohengrin after having driven in for the evening in their patriotic gas hogs”). In other words, a giant, steaming pile of B.S. There are legitimate points to make and arguments to have, but he’s too stuck up to bother with any of that.

Please never visit, sir.

(H/T: Unfair Park)

Leading Off (Ticket Scofflaws Item), Ctd.

An alert FBvian has noticed that Mack Hicks, Tom Hicks’ son, apparently owes Dallas County some cheddar, too (must be the daiquiri talking). One of his citations in 1997 was for illegal tint on his car window. One wonders what sort of lowrider young Mack had back in the day.

My New Favorite Beverage Location: Daiquiri’s To Go

Spider Monkey and I were returning from Fuel City, where we’d filled our bellies with delicious tacos, when I spotted a joint off Industrial, on Market Center Boulevard, called Daiquiri’s To Go. The apostrophe. I know. It killed me, too. But how the heck do you serve a daiquiri to go? I mean, that right there is the definition of an open container. I was intrigue’d. So we swung through.

Daiquiri’s To Go might have the best menu in Dallas. Check out this selection of beverage names: Chasity [sic, I think] sits on the menu right atop Sex in Dallas; there’s Pink Panties right next to Pulled 2 Da Side; and there’s the Make U Wet, the D-Ware #94 [I'm sure with Cowboys approval], and the Recession. Solid choices, all. But how do they get away with serving an alcoholic beverage to go? You can see from the picture: they seal it in a plastic bag (as displayed by Spider Monkey). The smallest size was 16 ounces ($6); the largest is 1 gallon ($25). We, of course, waited until we’d gotten back to the office before we poked the straw through the plastic bag and drank it.

If you’re route home this Friday eve takes you past the joint, I highly recommend it.

Friday Afternoon Random Poll

To help you make up your mind, go here and here.

Leading Off, Ctd.

So, by 10 o’clock Friday, you finally figured out I was gone all week, huh? Why do I feel like Jeff Bebe?

“It’s okay! I’m easy to forget! Just leave me behind! I’m only the effing lead singer!”

Leading Off (6/5/09): Delayed Because Eric Is on Vacation and Didn’t Arrange for a Designated Hitter Edition

1. Parking at the Cowboys Stadium will cost you $40. Texas Stadium had about 16,000 parking spaces. The new joint has about 12,000 (not including spaces at the Rangers Ballpark). Yeah, this is gonna all work out just fine.

2. A new study shows that 30 percent of Dallas-area home sellers have to cut their price at least once, Eric.

3. Dallas County has a new website where you can check on unpaid tickets. The 50 Most Wanted is an interesting list. Shout out to Takelia for the $10,524.80 she owes the county. But you can also search the database by ZIP. An even more interesting list is the scofflaws in 75225 who owe money. That would be University Park. So a shout out to Bunker Hunt, too, for doing 74 mph in a 60 zone back in 1998 and managing to avoid paying up all these years. (I scanned 75205, Highland Park, but no names jumped out at me. If you see one, e-mail me.)