D

Chef David Gilbert Leaves Lazare. Owner Russell Hayward Is A Good Dancer.

Join us for another episode of Dancing with Lazare.

Byron Nelson Media Tourney Recap

Okay, so we didn’t win. The D Mag team of Zac Crain (pictured with beard), Josh Pearson (fancy shorts), Andy Stern (looks like responsible adult), and yours truly (dashing) shot about six strokes off the pace. Afterward, at the awards ceremony luncheon, whereat first through third collected HP digital picture frames and so forth, there ensued a brief question and answer period with Paul Earnest, course poobah for the Four Seasons. There was talk about how for the first time the course was not over-seeded for the winter. It’ll be all Bermuda for the Byron this year.

Then came a question from the back of the room: “This is just a hypothetical question,” the inquisitor began. “But what if, say, a tractor were to wind up in a water feature on the course? Hypothetically, how would you extract that tractor?” I’ll let Zac be the final judge, but I thought my question was well-received. (See picture, attached.)

To conclude, I’d like to offer a few suggestions to tourney organizer Tracy Cobb: you ought to hand out awards for stuff other than low scores. I’m spitballing here, but what about a trophy for the team that puts up the most tweets and blog posts from the course? Or how about an award for the player with the oldest set of clubs? Zac played with a set of borrowed Black Eye Pings from circa 1982. He would have been a lock. Also: an award for the foursome with the most empty beer cans at the end of the round. You’d need to talk to legal about that, but you see where I’m headed.

Looking forward to the tournament with the real players, May 18 through 24. Tune in to FrontBurner for live coverage from the course.

Byron Nelson Media Tourney, Ctd.

As a team, we posted a 66 (shamble format). Looks like a 60 will win. We ran into Jody Dean at the luncheon (pictured). He shot well, considering he played in that sport coat.

Bud Shrake, R.I.P.

Bud Shrake, a giant on the Texas literary scene, passed away today in Austin.

Wick Allison Pulls Himself Out …, Ctd.

A meetings-savvy FBvian responds to another commenter about the convention-center hotel fight. And sort of tweaks the Dallas Convention & Visitors Bureau, which yesterday released a list of future conventions contingent on an attached hotel:

That’s an interesting comment from the poster as it pertains to the Dallas Safari Club, in light of the fact that the Safari Club convention is an international event and is moving to the Dallas Convention Center in 2010 and 2011. The move is not contingent on the hotel being built.

The Dallas Safari Club is not the hunting group mentioned in the latest release from Phillip Jones (describing groups that have committed to Dallas contingent on the building of the hotel), and interestingly, the Dallas Safari Club has been asking for a contract for 2012 at the DCC, but can’t get one.

Laid-off Reporter Finds Solace in Coffee Stain

With all the “hold-on-to-your-effin‘-hat” we in the media biz have been doing lately, some of us are finding ways to cope. Folks in this office seem to be drinking more lately, which I didn’t think was possible; I’ve taken up gardening and fantasize about smoking cigarettes; and Laura is finding solace in reality TV.

But a journalist who was laid off last week is coping in a very different way: He wrote a letter to Romenesko explaining that he believes he saw the Virgin Mary in a coffee stain while cleaning out his desk after the big heave-ho. I don’t see it, but I get the sentiment. Sounds like it would have been a great story for the DMN’s Religion section.

Byron Nelson Media Tourney, Ctd.

This is Josh Pearson teeing off at No. 17. Josh will be blogging for us from the Byron Nelson. He’s a good golfer man, 6 handicap. We aren’t playing from the tips. Given the wind today, Josh doesn’t think he could break 100 from the tips.

Byron Nelson Media Day, Ctd.

A groundskeeper just put his tractor in the pond on No. 14. I don’t think it’s an amphibious tractor.

Jack Ingram To Perform At Byron Nelson, Ctd.

Hey, if you go see Jack, ask him when the hell he’s going to start recording music with guts and bite again. Back in the day, when he was known as “Angry Jack” Ingram, the SMU grad’s songs were real and gut-wrenching, like country’s supposed to be. Examples: “Biloxi” and “Barbie Doll (She’s real good-looking,’ but she’s got no heart at all).” Then, he started making it big with bloodless pop-country pap like “Wherever You Are.” Guess maybe if you score enough No. 1’s, you just ain’t angry anymore.

Programming Note

I am on location today (on WRR with the spectacular Adriana Bate), so listen with your ears to 101.1 FM. Also, Tim and Zac are playing in the Byron Nelson media challenge thing, so they won’t be in until much later. I’m also out this afternoon. What I’m trying to say is this: posting has been light lately, and for that we’re sorry. We’re just trying to hold on to our effin hats over here. But that problem will not be fixed today. Plan your browsing accordingly. Go outside. See Star Trek. Read a magazine. (So glad comments aren’t on.)

Leading Off-ish (5/8/09)

1. Dirk Nowitzki was cautioned by team officials to stay away from his girlfriend Cristal Taylor because of her criminal past. It was also noted that dirk had “dark bags under his eyes.” If you’ve ever seen a picture of me, you’ll know that my reaction to that was, “And what exactly is wrong with that?”

2. Irving’s oversight of the Cowboys practice facility that collapsed is now in question, as the city “has no record of the engineer who signed off on the project’s design [and] does not have the building’s blueprints or specifications on file, even though state officials said Thursday that those documents should be kept for the life of the building,” according to the DMN. Team and city officials blame T.O.

3.  I was going to write about Obama cutting border fence funds, but without comments, what’s the point? Instead, on this important day, let’s all take a moment to remember the absolute awesomeness of this man.

The Byron Nelson for Idiots

As mentioned earlier, Zac, Josh Pearson, and I are playing in the Byron Nelson media tourney this morning. Here’s the look Zac is perpetrating. Give him some slack. He’ll need it.