Articles for April, 2009
Leading Off (4/13/09)
1. If you worked for Irving ISD during the 2000-01 school year, you may want to hold onto your effin’ hat, because someone is probably ordering $240 worth of pudding right now, using a credit card with your name on it.
2. Just because my father-in-law is both a Republican and the proud owner of a Portuguese water dog (handle: Repo) AND because I’m interested in what you guys will do with this seemingly innocuous story, the President’s new dog Bo is from nearby Boyd.
3. And finally, State Rep. Betty Brown (R-Terrell) apologized for that whole Asian-Americans-should-make-their-names-easier business. That won’t stop me, however, from saying “don’t try to Betty Brown me, son” whenever someone accuses me of saying something confusing. Given my track record, expect that to happen several dozen times a day for the next forever.
Rhett Miller to Take Turn in 30 Rock
According to his Twitter feed (@rhettmiller), the Old 97’s frontman will have a role in the season finale. Follow his feed for tweets from the set.
Friday Afternoon Random Question: Ban, Ban, Ban Ban
Can I bum a cigarette?
(Kidding.)
For those of you who have quit smoking — which I am attempting now, aided and abetted by Nicorette — what worked for you?
Allen Gwinn Wonders What To Do With Dallas.org
Allen Gwinn owns a lot of URLs. You know him best for Dallas.org. But he also owns DallasISD.com, DallasPolice.org and “a whole bunch of other names” that he points to Dallas.org. Yesterday for Dallas.org, he spent about eight hours at Dallas ISD headquarters, monitoring a board meeting (the fruits of his efforts are still ripening, and it’s an important question he’s raising about the wisdom of a large contract to lease computers from Dell). But also yesterday, Gwinn raised another question: what should he do with all those URLs? He’s fairly well set on giving up his watchdog hobby next year. Don’t blame him. So if you’ve got a suggestion, let him know.
Leading Off (4/10/09)
1. Police are trying to catch a carjacker (or carjackers) who targets women in the Mockingbird-Abrams/M Streets area. He struck again Wednesday, and the area elementary schools (Stonewall and Lee) went into lockdown. Each attack took place within about a mile or so of my house. [Calling Trey again, taking him up on offer to arm and train me.]
2. Apparently, there’s been a problem with people being sued by their parents, who are trying to gain custody of their grandchildren, usually stemming from the decision to homeschool the little ones. A new law introduced by a North Texas legislator aims to make it harder for grandparents to do this. Meanwhile, I aim to pitch this scenario as a hilarious new Judd Apatow-style comedy vehicle starring Dane Cook and Billy Bob Thornton, tentatively titled Home Screwed.
3. And, the smoking ban takes effect today. Zac is using it as an excuse to try to quit smoking again. Look for some testy posts from him throughout, oh, the rest of his life.
Terrell State Rep Doesn’t Like All Those Vowels Asians Use In Their Names
Two things you need to know about this story. One, that legislator Betty Brown really said, during discussion about the Voter ID bill, that Asians should just adopt names that are more Uhmerican:
“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese – I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?”
Two, Trey Garrison found it first. And used a sweet pic of Long Duk Dong to illustrate it.
Another Probably Failed Pitch To Get Casinos in Texas
The greatness that is Dave Montgomery reports that it’s no more likely now than it has been the past few years that we’ll get casinos in Texas. Which makes me sad. Look, Texas, do you want my money or don’t you? Then let’s do this thing.
The Nervebreakers: Club Dada, 4/11/09
As I offhandedly mentioned previously in a post about the Longhorn Ballroom, the Nervebreakers will play at Club Dada this weekend, the band’s first local show in 15 years. (They played a couple of shows last month in Austin during SXSW.) Why should you care?
They were the first punk band from Texas to sound like a punk band from Texas.
We Want Everything (track down a copy)
They opened up for the first Dallas show by the Ramones.
And the Sex Pistols.
And the Clash.
“My Girlfriend is a Rock” (later covered by the likes of the Angry Samoans and Wool)
The “Hijack the Radio”/”Why Am I So Flipped?” single
They backed up Roky Erickson for his first shows after he left a mental institution.
Who knows when they’ll play again?
Investigation Discovery Channel’s Take on Craig Watkins: American Bada@@
That was actually the headline we wanted to go with for this cover (spelled out properly, of course), but settled on “American Rebel” after Wick said, as much as he loved the headline, folks wouldn’t want it on their coffee tables. And from the looks of this trailer from the Investigation Discovery channel, the producers agree he’s some kind of super hero. I mean, all that’s missing is this music playing over the trailer. (DALLAS DNA premieres April 28 and runs on Tuesdays for 6 weeks on Investigation Discovery.)
Leading Off (4/9/09)
1. The D.A.’s in Dallas and Denton County have finished reviewing cases filed by former DPD officer Robert Powell. The result? Denton is declining to pursue a DWI case, and is dismissing a marijuana possession charge. In Dallas, 11 cases are still up in the air, but everything appears to be in order. So this should pretty much close the book on Powell. Unless, of course, at some point, he decides to reenact the plot of an average basic cable thriller and take out his revenge on the department in some sort of overly complicated fashion. Don’t really see that happening.
2. To help fund transportation projects, Sen. John Carona (R-Dallas) is sponsoring legislation that would allow certain counties (including all 12 in the D-FW area) to raise the gasoline tax from 20 cents to 30, and hike up fees for registration by $60 and vehicle inspection by $15. And a bunch of other stuff. In turn, I am introducing legislation that would allow me to reenact the plot of an average basic cable thriller and take out my revenge on Carona in some sort of overly complicated fashion. There will be a statewide vote on my villainous catchphrase later this year.
3. And finally, my beloved Dallas Mavericks secured their ninth straight trip to the playoffs, stepping up huge against the Utah Jazz, 130-101. if I told you that, to celebrate, I put a ton of C4 somewhere on the parade route Laura Miller leaked to the press during the 2006 Finals and you have 45 minutes to find it, what would you do, hotshot? What would you do?
Ten-Year Renewal For Midlothian Cement Kilns
The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality, whose name would make George Orwell blush, voted 2-1 for the extension, turning down a plea for a public hearing. This is depressing but not unexpected news. (After all, the commissioners were appointed by Rick Perry.) In 2005, we published this investigation into the Midlothian cement plants. In 2007, we followed-up on Dallas’ worsening air quality. Last December, the Star-Telegram went through data compiled by USA Today and found Midlothian schools among the most dangerous to children’s health in the nation.
Leppert Strikes Back In Pro-Hotel TV Ad
While the folks opposing a convention-center hotel have been burning up the local TV airwaves with spots for awhile, the other side’s been strangely silent. No longer. Here’s a sneak peak at a pro-hotel TV ad that’s scheduled to start running tomorrow. Its star is Mayor Tom.
Attention Hot Singles: Get Your Mug in D Magazine
With a little trepidation, I come to you with a proposition: Are you single? Are you attractive? Would you be so daring as to have your cellphone number published in an award-winning magazine? Then send me your particulars, along with a picture of yourself.
We’re working on an appreciation piece about our fair city (by which we really mean North Texas). One of the things we appreciate is the pulchritude of the singles who dwell therein. I am a man, and so my appreciation mostly applies to the female singles — but there are some hot dudes out there, too. So we thought we’d just go ahead and show people in the magazine what we appreciate: attractive single people. And, sure, we’ll provide phone numbers, too. (Full disclosure: we are brazenly ripping off this idea from New York magazine.)
It’s as simple as that. If you’re chosen, your photo (perhaps taken by our staff photographer, Spider Monkey herself) will run alongside those of, say, nine other attractive people. And their phone numbers. You’ll be presented to the world as one of the reasons we love Dallas.
Let’s do this.
See Paris Hilton Making Out In Public
I know, I know. You’re above that. So don’t click here to see pics taken at Aura last night.
Letter From Woodrow High: You Call This a Gem?
When a teacher I know recently told me what it was like to substitute teach at Woodrow Wilson High, I was taken aback. Woodrow enjoys a reputation as a bright spot in DISD. That reputation didn’t jibe with the teacher’s experience. So I asked the teacher to describe in writing what happened. This is only one person’s take, but it would concern me if I had a kid at Woodrow.
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