Articles for March, 2009
Do You Have the Max Factor Face of Dallas?
Men, please avert your eyes. Ladies, read on.
Do you think you’re the Face of Dallas? Do you think you might be, if it meant being featured in the June issue of D Magazine and winning lots of free makeup? Yep, thought so. Like we heard about over here, you have until April 2 to submit a makeover photo using Max Factor products. The winner will get her mug in the print product, as well as a handbag full of makeup goodies. Go here, do it now.
Leading Off (3/13/09)
1. The best day of the year in Dallas arrives tomorrow. The Greenville Avenue St. Patrick’s Day Parade kicks off at 10 a.m. and goes to 6 p.m. I’ll be there as I’ve been every year for the past 15 or so, enjoying the camaraderie, sipping on one green adult beverage every two hours, amazed at how orderly the majority of the 75,000 revelers are. And, like every, year, I’ll giggle that Avi Adelman gets more pub for his 20-person campaign against the parade. Please ignore that, and I’ll see you tomorrow.
2. Better grades for doing less schoolwork! Where is this dastardly scheme being considered? NO! Not in DISD schools. In Plano middle schools! And, since Channel 11 only quoted a few teachers and parents about a plan that may be being considered, I’d hold off on freaking out about that just yet. But what do I know? I’m a public school kid.
3. Gov. Rick Perry’s decision to turn down $555 million in stimulus funds designed to go to expanded unemployment benefits has Democrats threatening to overturn him. The great Bud Kennedy suggests the unemployed Tweet the guv. C’mon, Bud, they’re a little busy looking for jobs on LinkedIn.
Lawsuit of the Day (Involving Obama, Blagojevich, and Addison Man)
Maybe one of you legal-minded FrontBurnervians can explain this lawsuit filed today in Dallas. It is styled “Corolone Inc., Barack Obama, Osama bin Laden, and Buddy Busch v. Mahmound Ahmadinejad, Hugo Chavez, Rod Blagojevich, Donald Trump, and James Goodnight.” Okay, so, Buddy Busch lives in Addison. The suit says that in July 2008, defendents hired a “professional killer” to come to Busch’s house and threaten to kill his family. To me, that sounds like a lousy professional killer. If I hire a professional killer, I don’t want that guy just making threats. You know? If I wanted threats made, I’d hire a professional threatener. A professional killer? I wanna see a corpse. Maybe that’s just me.
Anyway, what all this has to do with Barack Obama and Rod Blagojevich I can’t for the life of me figure out. L’il help?
Those Nifty Postcards Offering $$$$
Let’s see. This week brought nifty offers to claim money on my behalf from Unclaimed Funds Retrieval, L.L.C. ($1,605.49), Financial Services Group L.L.C. ($1,805.01), and Karyn A. Ward, CPA ($3,207.75). Unclaimed Funds Retrieval in Irving is run by one Johel A. Contreras, according to the Texas Secretary of State. Financial Services Group, L.L.C. is run by Vyacheslav Alaytsev. And, yes, Karyn A. Ward is indeed a CPA.
The deal here is simple. The senders promise you “unclaimed money.” In fact, they get you to come into their offices so they can sign you up to represent you at the appraisal district to reduce your property taxes. In reality, unlike real property tax consultants they send out postcards because anyone who responds to a postcard is likely to be gullible. Vyacheslav had at least one customer sign forms that gave Vyacheslav 100 percent of any savings. The fact is, any citizen can go down to the Appraisal District office and pretty much be assured of getting a 10 percent reduction just by showing up.
One more note: For all I know, Karyn A. Ward is the best CPA on the planet. I don’t like painting her with the same brush as I’m swiping over Johel and Vyacheslav, but she did it to herself by sending out the same kind of postcards as they do. According to the Texas Society of CPAs, she violated no ethics rule — which only tells me the Texas Society needs to upgrade its ethics rules.
Kids in Orange Descend on DMA
Somewhere King Tut is looking down from his big fluffy cloud in heaven, and he’s thinking, “I am bigger than Jesus.”
Al Dia Lays Off Most of Staff
The announced layoffs at A.H. Belo are supposed to be completed by month’s end, and it looks like they’re already beginning. Word is that Al Dia laid off most of its reporting staff yesterday (the Spanish-language edition scaled back to twice a week last month), leaving (for the most part) Alejandro Sobrino (the publisher), Alfredo Carbajal (Editor en Jefe), and copy editors and production folks. I’ve e-mailed Carbajal for comment, and I’ll update if he responds. Meanwhile, hands back on effing hat.
Update: Carbajal responds:
About yesterday’s layoffs, the staff reductions taken at Al Día are part of A.H. Belo’s previously announced company-wide reduction in force. The company is not discussing the specifics of the business units. They plan to provide an update when the reduction in force is complete, toward the end of the first quarter or beginning of second.
My Bloody Valentine Coming to Dallas
Specifically, to the Palladium on April 22. The fellas over at We Shot JR have four pairs of tickets for giveaway, so go over there and get to it. Or you can buy tickets here.
My Bloody Valentine is playing at the Coachella Festival, along with four club dates. Two of them happen to be in Texas. That’s kind of a big deal.
Dallas Is Happy. Texas Not So Much.
So Gallup did a survey of well-being by state and congressional district (for details, go here.) Hard to tell from this reduced map, but olive green is tops and dark blue is middling. Go here for an interactive map.
How AKA Got His Groove Back
With his threat to fight conservative radio personality Glenn Beck, Alibaster K. Abthernabther proves again he’s a giggle force to be reckoned with. He doesn’t just threaten to punch him. He threatens to hit him so hard that Mr. Beck loses his job, ends up on the street, and wishes for universal health care. (Warning: he uses dirty words in a way that makes me giggle even harder.)
Leading Off (3/12/09)
1. Don’t mess around with the folks over at Eagle’s View Church in Saginaw. Following the shooting death of a pastor in southern Illinois, they’re learning Krav Maga, a form of martial arts developed by the Israeli military. I prefer savate, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
2. Jim Schutze on the latest fly in the Trinity ointment: “Had Dallas Morning News editors ever once in more than a decade taken their greenest cub reporter and said, ‘Go find out what flood control experts say about this plan,’ the cub would have come back with my same story. It’s not a gray area.” That is a burn, and I doubt the DMN will take this lying down. I feel another Steve Blow column coming. Careful, Jim. He may compare you to Snuffleupagus this time.
3. The Mavericks came through with a big W in Portland last night. You can piece together all the action over here, as Eric Celeste helpfully live-blogged the proceedings. On a completely unrelated note: Gina Miller, you may want to contact an attorney. Or learn Krav Maga.
Agent Jan Miller Signs $3 Million Book Deal for Capt. Sully
Captain Chestey Sullenberger’s story will be published by a division of HarperCollins, thanks to the work of Dallas book agent Jan Miller. No proposal was necessary. All she had to do was send around this article by the pilot in the Feb. 23 issue of Newsweek — and, of course, ask publishers how high they wanted to fly.
Mavs Live Blog on Inside Corner
Come visit, if you’re so inclined. Freeze, this means you.
Jake Heggie on his Upcoming Moby-Dick
Composer Jake Heggie is working on an operatic adaptation of Moby-Dick for the opening of the Winspear in spring 2010. Initially, the Dallas Opera’s artistic director didn’t think that was a swell idea. Our Peter Simek talked to Heggie about how it all went down and about how Heggie plans to bring the book to the stage. You, dear opera lover, can read Simek’s tale right here. (See what I did there? Tale? Whale? Rogers!)
Dallas Chamber Rips Union Scheme
Under new president Jim Oberwetter, the Dallas Regional Chamber has come out against the loopy and dishonestly named “Employee Free Choice Act.” That’s great news; it looks like the local business group has taken a turn and may finally start standing for something.
American Airlines Pilots Barely Able to Afford Brie
The AA pilots aren’t happy about the state of their (non-ish) negotiations with headquarters, so they’re threatening to delay flights as a sign of protest. The great Mitch “Schnur ‘Nuff” Schnurman of the Star-T makes the following WTF point:
Talking up the strategy now — when the economy is in the tank, the airline is struggling and any job actions are at least a year away — is the kind of move that gives organized labor a bad name.
Agreed (and that’s coming from the grandson and son-in-law of former shop foreman). Because, as Schnurman notes, pilots at American earn, on average, more than $130,000 annually (second only to Southwest Airlines), and they have a rich retirement package. Last year, 517 American pilots took early retirement, and their average lump-sum payout was $1.8 million, according to the company’s 10-K and my IJS.
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