1. George W. Bush returned to Midland yesterday, saying, “I’m coming home with my head held high and a sense of accomplishment.” Rick Perry met him there and said, “He looked me in the eye before he left and said, ‘Perry, I want you to be a good Boy Scout. And Boy Scouts leave their camp better than they found it.’ Texas is a better place than when George left it.” I would like to add that I’m an inventive and caring lover.
2. Tincy Miller and the crew on the State Board of Education will hear public comments today as they prepare for a big vote on how evolution should be taught in the classroom. Dear Lord baby Jesus, lying there in your ghost manger, just looking at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learning about shapes and colors, please guide the Board of Education, and especially Tincy Miller, as they undertake this difficult vote.
3. Realizing that Nos. 1 and 2 might make for some bitter comments, I’ll bring you this news in item No. 3: you can save money by buying off-brand cookies.