Articles for November 26th, 2008

Yet Another in a Series of Embarrassing Pictures of Eric Celeste

Yeah, it’s not quite 9 o’clock. Yeah, everyone is cooking stuffing in preparation for tomorrow’s feast. But Eric is sleepy. So to the couch he goes. Clinical depression or just abject slothfulness? Only his therapist knows for sure.

Meanwhile, Back at the D Magazine Offices

As we struggle through this deadline getting the January edition of the “print product” to the printer, Stacey just said something negative about P90X Tony Horton. Whereupon Eric beat her to the ground and started kicking her in the gut with his boots. See for yourself.

DIRECTV Blimp Over Fair Park?

Anyone know why the DIRECTV blimp would be flying around Fair Park? I can see it from my office window, and Adam called in from the road to express his confusion, too.

Another Upscale Restaurant Project Bites the Dust

Oh, yes it did. Ouch.

Trucker Hits Bush Turnpike Bridge

An alert FBvian sent me these photos yesterday. Just now getting around to posting them, with apologies for the delay. The FBvian writes:

Looks as if some trucker forgot his bridge height maps while traveling east on 635 through Valley Ranch. Been there most of the day already.

Why Martini Park Closed

In the June issue of the “print product,” Eric wrote lovingly of the cougar hunting grounds known as Martini Park. The joint has shuttered — essentially because it sold too much booze. What? Yes. Nancy has the story over on SideDish.

How Bad Is It at A.H. Belo?

It could be very bad. In July, when we last looked at its financials, I said the market was being irrational for its low valuation of $122 million. Today that valuation has sunk to $40 million. When I first saw that figure today, I was dumbstruck. Surely, Belo’s real estate is worth that much. But then I plunged into the financials to make my case that the market has gone insane — and now I must admit I’m not so sure it has. The company looks like it is running out of cash.

For the third quarter ending September 30, A.H. Belo had current assets of $122 million with current liabilities of $113 million, giving it a net working capital of $8 million $9 million. Cash flow from operations was $25 million but deducted from that were $14 million in capital expenditures, netting $11 million. (My rule of thumb for media companies, learned over years of hard experience, is that we need about 10 percent of our annual revenues in cash to operate: in A.H. Belo’s case, that would be about $60 million to $80 million.) Belo’s cash position, which looks perilous to me, has to have gotten worse since the economic collapse; ours certainly has. As for that real estate, in today’s market it could probably bring in $30 million or so, if anyone could get the financing to buy it. But it is co-owned with its broadcasting sibling, Belo Corp., so the net effect of a sale would only be $15 million or so.

This analysis is dated, to be sure: I’m depending on September 30 balance sheet numbers. On the other hand, things have gone into the ditch since then. Riverside, California, where the company owns the Press-Enterprise, is the worst real estate market in the country and has an unemployment rate of 9.5 percent. In Providence, where it owns the Journal, October home sales fell 12 percent, the largest decline in the Northeast.

So it seems the market is being rational after all. In which case, it is time to be worried about how A.H. Belo and the Morning News will manage to survive. Any commenters who have a media financial background or inside knowledge would be greatly appreciated. I would love someone to challenge or — even better — disprove my gloomy assessment.

How My Meeting With Wick Just Ended

“You are the worst managing editor in America.”

As punishment, he refuses to fire me.

Perots Take a Bath

Yesterday it was revealed that a hedge fund controlled by the Perot family is being forced to liquidate. Parkcentral Global Hub was worth $2.5 billion earlier this year; now it’s worth $1.5 billion. The rumor I’m hearing is that Ross Perot himself lost somewhere north of $200 million in the fund. Forbes recently put his worth at $5 billion, so that probably won’t change his vacation plans. But it still has to smart.

Friday Fun (Early Edition): Turkey Shoot

Happy almost Thanksgiving, one and all. For those of us putting in a full three-day work week this week, here’s your pseudo-Friday Fun. It’s called Turkey Shoot, and since more than a couple of you sent it to me, I’m going to assume it’s popular. At the very least, it’s holiday-themed. (Also, banjo alert. Volume down before clicking.) Enjoy.

D/FW Mood = “Upbeat”

Once again, Travelocity is posting real-time reports from the major airports in the country for you FrontBurnervians traveling not by car, bus, or train. Check it the Window Seat Blog, if so inclined.

FrontBurner Reporter Fails To Report On Pseudo-Witnessed Police Action

Here’s all I know: Driving home on back streets yesterday, I saw a police car blocking Morningside Ave. at McMillan. A mail van was parked there, too, and the postal carrier was talking to the police officer. As I drove by, I saw a man on the front yard of the house a few doors down. He was on his knees, wearinging an undershirt, and seemingly pleading with a woman who may or may not have been in a bathrobe—can’t recall. Odd, I thought. Then, driving a bit further, I saw three more police cars, one of them in the alley. Also in the alley: an officer peering over a fence with a rifle aimed in the direction of the situation. Very odd, I thought. A bit scary, too. The police reports online only include today’s incidents. Anyone know anything more?

Leading Off (11/26/08)

1. That woman who jumped from an overpass onto Central yesterday, stopping traffic for two hours? She was delusional.

2. I’ve got a ranch in downtown Dallas. I buy diamonds by the ton. Chase cuties in my cadillac, drill oil wells just for fun. But when it comes to boots, I need a deal that will fit me right toe to heel, so I get my boots at — not at Western Warehouse.

3. Things aren’t looking so good. People are leaping to their deaths. Beloved shoe stores are going out of business. It’s enough to drive a man to drink. And, locally, that’s exactly what people are doing.