Since I just reread Chuck Klosterman’s Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, this week’s question is too unwieldy to fit in the headline. It’s a hypothetical.
You have a chance to make all of DISD’s financial problems go away instantly. Now, you have no real affinity for the district and, in fact, send your child to a private school. (Note: you are not rich, but you do okay, well enough to afford private school with some help from scholarships.) Also, no one will know you did this. The way you are able to accomplish this is: over the next year, you will be punched in the face on four separate occasions. The puncher will be an unarmed average-sized man with no formal boxing or martial arts training. You will not know when or where the punches will be deployed.
If you choose not to do this, you will be paid a one-time lump sum of $5,652. This income will be tax-free, but cannot be used on anything entertaining (movies, vacations, liquor, etc.), nor can it be applied to your child’s education. DISD’s financial situation will continue as it is.
Search your hearts. The comments await your decision.
16 comments
Easy. There’s a credit crunch, so I’d take the money.
If the punches result in true physical damage, will the medical bills incurred from this assault be paid for or do I have to foot the bill?
Wha…What was the question?
You mean kinda like this?
(Click my user name for the videolink.)
I agree. America is ready for a four day work week.
I am unable to think of any ways to spend money, on myself that is, which are not “entertaining.”
Buying a new sofa, for example, sounds entertaining. Kitchenware? Entertaining. New air conditioner? Maybe not on my own dime. But if you needed one, and had been dreading the outlay …
In short, spending a windfall, however modest, is by definition entertaining. (If you got off on being punched, and even paid good money to be thus gratified — like [name redacted], prominent local Republican — the answer would really be a no-brainer. Bonus!)
my wife likes to remind me that she’s known me nine years now and not one calendar year has passed were i didn’t receive a black eye somehow, someway
she (and probably many of you) don’t understand, but i like a nice punch in the face every once in a while, which i why i play bball at least thrice weekly
so i’d do in heartbeat
must have something to do with being reared in Filthadelphia, Penciltuckey and idolizing Rocky Balboa as a wee lad
and we’re talking Rocky here, as in the 1976, Oscar-winning Rocky not any of those God-awful sequels
so anyway, swing away and i’ll give the $5,652 to the guy that owns the 7-11 at davis and westmoreland
No.
Point taken, Daniel.
I would say I’d take the punches, but with my luck, one of them would shatter my orbital bone and the resulting surgeries would leave me ugly(ier) and unable to pay my mortgage due to medical bills.
I’m still thinking about this question. But I can tell you this: if I were the guy who gets to do the punching, I’d deliver all four punches on the same day.
Thank you Anne Y. F. !
Someone needs to get punched in the face over this DISD thing, but I don’t see why it should be anyone other than the person(s) responsible.
So no, I wouldn’t take the punches. But you could put my $5,652 towards some poor teacher’s salary. (pun intended.)
Oh, well if Tim’s doing the punching, then I’m in. No worries there…
I think I’ve already made that choice. It only hurts until the next time.
Is this in addition to or does it replace the 4 times a year this happens to me anyway?
I don’t have kids and don’t have a HUGE stake in the DISD fiasco and don’t like getting punched in the face too much but if it helps you guys and your kids and stuff, I am TOTALLY willing to go on a 7 day cruise featuring on-ship performances by Styx, Journey and REO Speedwagon.