1. The headline says it all: “Lewisville School Drops Charges Against Banana, Gorilla Prankster.” In all seriousness, there’s a lesson to be learned here for all future would-be banana and gorilla pranksters (such a great name for a band): don’t hop the fence. If you pay to get into the game, they can’t hit you with the more serious criminal trespass charges.
2. The Morning News has released its plans for Quick, which, in its new weekly frequency, will focus on entertainment and nightlife. My question: which columnist(s) will keep their gigs? If only one remains, it’s hard to imagine it being anyone other than Gordon Keith.
3. Here’s the flip side to all that preserved DNA evidence that has exonerated 19 men in Dallas County. Cops can also find guys guilty of rape who’ve never been charged. They’re looking at hundreds of old cases. Right now, they’ve found six guys they believe are guilty. Problem is, the statute of limitations has run out, so they can’t be charged.
15 comments
#3 – As a dad, if someone raped my daughter and DNA evidence confirmed who it was, there would be no need for charges to be filed. That worthless pile of **** would be dead within 24 hours. No evidence, nobody to miss them. Case closed.
gordon keith = no talent
Real tough Big Mac. I’ll see you at the convention this year, and then it’s on! I hope that Wendy chick is there…I dig red-heads.
If the statute of limitations has run out on these rape cases, then why are the police wasting time trying to put the finger on the real culprits after having botched the cases when they were legit. It’s not like they can hold a news conference and show photos of the people they THINK committed the crimes. So what’s the point?
If it is Gordon Keith, I should hope they’ll come up with a new mugshot. The one they run inspires me to bristle with contempt for the fellow — although I can’t say just why precisely, and it’s by no means rational of me. That picture just makes me want to hit him, is all; as a civilized person, I would do no such thing, but would instead shake his hand, claim I’m glad to meet him, and then vent my contempt later, in the car, to some long-suffering companion or another, or even to a hapless motorist who himself is blameless in the matter.
Good God, my blood pressure rises just thinking of that execrable mug. But why? Help me out, anybody?
Long: By linking them to the crimes, if a crime with a similar MO comes up, they’ll already be in a database. Likewise, whenever they run prints from a new crime, those prints will be in the database – if they match, that will be a crime they CAN pin them on.
Agreed, on the mugshot. I’m a huge Gordon fan, and I want to smack his mugshot as well.
To Daniel-
I agree. The mugshot should be changed. I am thinking something more 1985 Ed Bark-y. The one they have now seems to make certain men inexplicably violent and reactive to something deep within that he can’t quite put a word on. So I hear ya.
To Not Me-
I agree.
gordonkeith.com
Good point, Bethany. I would imagine that if someone gets away with a crime one time then they’re more inclined to do it again. Here’s hoping they’re working forward AND backward to solve the unsolved rape cases.
You nailed it, Gord — it’s the sheer frank homoeroticism that has me so exercised. Instead of acknowledging these feelings, I find it easier to shoot Kevin Spacey in his head and then lumber off through the rain, broken and soaking.
Sheer. Frank. Homoerotic. Now that’s a weekly column. Now that’s Gordon Keith.
@ Daniel.
giggle.
Gordon:
I suggest maybe wearing a dinner jacket, with a rose between your teeth, for the next mugshot.
or an eyepatch and inflatable parrot
Would all four things be overkill?
not if the rose is white