Jessica Simpson Likes Her Some Stampede Beer

[image deleted: explanation] You’ve heard about Stampede beer. Surely. It’s a local brew, the first approved by the feds to include vitamins. So, you know, it’s healthy for you (I keep telling myself). Well, comes news today (or tomorrow, actually) that none other than Jessica Simpson (aka the Cowboys’ succubus) has signed a deal with the beer to promote it via print and other media. She’s also now a significant shareholder in the company that owns the brew. Here’s a taste of the print ad campaign featuring J-Simp. Mmm. Tasty. (pictured: the temptress Herself and Stampede honcho Lawrence Schwartz)

91 comments

  1. Here’s the weird thing: both Jessica and the old dude look fat. I mean, WTF? Vitamins . . . and lard?

    @ 8:38 pm on August 19, 2008
  2. SLR really? cause i think she looks hot!

    @ 8:48 pm on August 19, 2008
  3. Are you kidding me? ANY dude that does rabbit ears over JSimp is okay by me. Besides, if he drinks THAT beer and that’s his gut…gimme some of that beer.

    @ 8:49 pm on August 19, 2008
  4. hope someone told her they don’t pay their advertising bills.

    @ 8:49 pm on August 19, 2008
  5. kinda looks like one of these photos: http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/uploaded_images/DB8079-716893.jpg

    when i finally meet Ms. Simpson and she agrees to take a pic with me, i know exactly where my non-beer holding hand will be and it certainly won’t be visible in the photo

    @ 8:55 pm on August 19, 2008
  6. Advertising bills, much less their investors.

    @ 8:59 pm on August 19, 2008
  7. Henry:

    Don’t get me wrong. I much prefer the pleasantly plump chick to the anorexic sylph. No doubt I would be all over that chubby shiksa. (The blond is not so bad either.)

    @ 9:07 pm on August 19, 2008
  8. Last I read – I think they were a start up. Investors and bills get paid when they sell out to the sell outs.

    @ 9:08 pm on August 19, 2008
  9. jrp, the “hot chicks with douchebags” link was priceless. If that’s not the same douchebag, then it’s at least his brother. Or the guy who leased him his BMW. (And at least two of the chicks in the picture are hotter than JSimp.)

    @ 9:18 pm on August 19, 2008
  10. You guys are all nuts. I would give my left one to stand that close to Jessica. In the immortal words of Adam McGill, she’s PERFECT.

    @ 9:24 pm on August 19, 2008
  11. Douchebag, old, fat dude or not — it can’t be all that horrible to have that rack resting on one’s belly. (”If loving her is wrong, I don’t want to be thin.”)

    @ 9:30 pm on August 19, 2008
  12. Jessica is truly beautiful. Kudos to you, Mr. Schwartz! And best of luck to your beer.

    @ 9:37 pm on August 19, 2008
  13. Pffffft … all beers are health food. Beer is made of grains, and grains are healthy, ergo, beer is health food.

    @ 9:42 pm on August 19, 2008
  14. Look, hate to hate on someone – so props. Dallas. JSimp. A guy trying to make it. Things could be worse. Like last Cowboys playoff win —1996. Now that’s some douchebag!

    @ 9:58 pm on August 19, 2008
  15. Health food yes. But the extra ham makes it more meaty.

    @ 9:59 pm on August 19, 2008
  16. A match made in Heaven… Stampede and Mrs. Ed!

    @ 10:11 pm on August 19, 2008
  17. he doesn’t look old or fat. since all of the posters seem to be men (except bethany) i think you guys are jealous. he’s pretty cute.

    @ 10:13 pm on August 19, 2008
  18. Some people will do anything to stay famous. Marry a member of a boy band, do a reality show, date a Cowboy QB, switch over to country music, sale vitamin beer. Good God what’s next Dukes of Hazzard II ?

    @ 11:12 pm on August 19, 2008
  19. Yes, Monkey, and don’t forget ProActive….

    @ 8:00 am on August 20, 2008
  20. So my prayers that she would just quietly go back to nashville or LA or anywhere better than plastic dallas have gone unanswered.

    @ 9:21 am on August 20, 2008
  21. My guess? “Winston” = Lawrence Schwartz

    @ 9:49 am on August 20, 2008
  22. Jess and her sis are such nice Baptist girls.

    @ 10:05 am on August 20, 2008
  23. And their Dad is such a great Pastor.

    @ 10:28 am on August 20, 2008
  24. thanks, adman, that’s a fantastic site and i happened to see that pic a while back and recalled the flashing of the peace sign by the off hand, which is a d-bag staple, and then thought the dudes looked a little similar

    don’t really mean to hate on the dude…kudos to him for brewing his own and trying to get it in stores and all

    just that i am jealous, as i’d love to give Jessy a big ole hug and ask her to, um, sponsor my product. i’d even pay her

    @ 10:42 am on August 20, 2008
  25. Stampede is about as tasteless as michelob ultra.

    @ 10:50 am on August 20, 2008
  26. Bethany rocks! Beer for strength. Its not a beer gut, its a liquid grain storage facility.

    @ 11:32 am on August 20, 2008
  27. I hope Romo isn’t a significant shareholder. I’m tired of hearing about rich athletes that loose all their money on bad investments.

    @ 11:41 am on August 20, 2008
  28. Seriously though, what’s next? Vitamin crack? Vitamin meth?

    @ 11:49 am on August 20, 2008
  29. How about Vitamin Cigarettes and Vitamin Condoms?

    @ 11:53 am on August 20, 2008
  30. How about vitamin vitamins.

    @ 12:09 pm on August 20, 2008
  31. SLR, as my grandfather used to say, “I like a little meat on my chicken.”

    @ 2:31 pm on August 20, 2008
  32. There needs to be a site dedicated to the correct uses of the words “lose” and “loose”. People on the intertubes don’t seem to know the difference.

    And right after i type that, i find this.

    @ 2:35 pm on August 20, 2008
  33. Looked forward to reading this and seeing the great news!

    Now I’m just bummed that Dallas “30k millionaires” and haters get such a kick out of junior high badgering. It’s no wonder why Dallas gets a bad rap. We can’t even be happy for local Dallas businesses that sink HUGE celebs. Love her or hate her – She’s still Top 20 most recognized celebs in the world.

    This web page REEKS of jealousy! Kudos for a Dallas guy and a Dallas girl teaming up to represent the BIG D in something we all love – Beer, success and notoriety.

    I’ll even cheers to that one!

    @ 4:24 pm on August 20, 2008
  34. she looks awesome. he’s hot. good point case! the scared dogs always have the meanest bark!

    @ 4:28 pm on August 20, 2008
  35. “Case” = “jane k” = Lawrence Schwartz

    @ 4:52 pm on August 20, 2008
  36. Shouldn’t you be spelling haters “haterz?”

    @ 5:03 pm on August 20, 2008
  37. Good job Stampede Light. You clearly got the girl everyone else wants, or wants to be like. That’s why they write such jealous and cruel remarks. And for those who think Jessica is fat….you’ve been listening too much to your boyfriend tell you how much an inch is. You wish!

    @ 5:10 pm on August 20, 2008
  38. Hey Monkey God….don’t you mean “sell”, not sale beer? Hmmm, those who throw stones….

    @ 5:15 pm on August 20, 2008
  39. Seth = I want my mommy to help grow up and be rich, famous…and nice

    @ 5:27 pm on August 20, 2008
  40. No I think Seth = that nerd from my senior class that everyone made fun of for wearing that New Kids on The BLock t-shirt and picking his nose. He was totally still wearing that shirt when he wrote that mean stuff. He’s a green one that Seth.

    @ 5:32 pm on August 20, 2008
  41. I tried this at the store this weekend. Wife and I picked up a case and with no hangover the next day, I don’t mind anyone that wants to support that!

    @ 5:41 pm on August 20, 2008
  42. Man forget t.v. for comedy – this is where it’s at. You got owned Seth! Looks like you do need your mama!! And all you haters need to check out what Jessica does for charity. She has funded many surgeries for kids with cleft lip/palates so they can have Smiles. Yep, you are JEALOUS of Jessica and the beer folks – pity! P.S. Dittopup = I’m my own dog!

    @ 5:44 pm on August 20, 2008
  43. vitamin beer? where can i get some?

    @ 6:11 pm on August 20, 2008
  44. Just saw the promos on ENews & The Daily 10 -amazing that Hollywood is kinder to Jessica Simpson than her own home town is. I guess you would rather have Amy Whinehouse promote DFW products and have Tony Romo date Paula Abdul. ewww what is wrong with Dallas that we can’t be happy for anyone (rich, pretty, sexy and famous)?

    @ 6:40 pm on August 20, 2008
  45. Viagra beer is next.

    @ 7:43 pm on August 20, 2008
  46. skeptic – something you need?

    @ 7:55 pm on August 20, 2008
  47. Who’s falling for this shiite? Lawrence Schwartz is clearly pulling a John Mackey (http://www.mpdailyfix.com/2007/07/busted.html).

    Again, “Winston” = “Ashley” = “Case” = “4forsure” = Lawrence Schwartz. (Probably you too Dittopup.)

    @ 9:41 pm on August 20, 2008
  48. Let’s all reduce the rhetoric here. Remember, we’re rooting for the home team: Jessica, Stampede, Lawrence Schwartz, Dallas. Let’s hope that Mr. Schwartz is the next Mark Cuban.

    @ 9:45 pm on August 20, 2008
  49. 4forsure
    Your correct but I should have said not sell vitamin beer. I wonder how much money she’s going to loose on this deal. What are you, her stalker or her dad?

    @ 10:21 pm on August 20, 2008
  50. Seth = compliments. Thanks! I’m having fun watching you be a clairvoyant.

    However, you are wrong. Wanna dog on me, great. Why don’t you come from behind your cloak and call me directly. I can be reached at 214-295-3256.

    -Lawrence

    @ 10:25 pm on August 20, 2008
  51. He use to come into several lounges in Dallas and grease the bartenders to push his stuff…bleech

    @ 12:33 am on August 21, 2008
  52. This stuff is buy none get four free

    @ 12:35 am on August 21, 2008
  53. Seth you are so predictable. You just helped me win fifty bucks too! I bet someone I could extract another = sign from you. And what is ****e? Were you that upset to be called out and owned? Hey – keep em coming – I got $100. riding on the next one! I don’t know these guys whose parade you are peeing on – I just like ruffling your hairless head!

    @ 9:16 am on August 21, 2008
  54. monkey god, do you mean lose, not loose? What are you, one of the “mean girls” she went to school with? Go back and take spelling again. And change your name to monkey devil – it fits you better. I’m neither stalker or dad….just happy to see a Dallas girl make it. Too bad Dallas eats their young though.

    @ 9:26 am on August 21, 2008
  55. This is a riot. I especially love the church bashers that keep reinforcing why Christians are called hypocrites. And monkey god, how sweet of you to worry about Jessica losing money but I think she can handle it. What bothers you most..her being poor..or rich? Beer sure hasn’t hurt Cindy McCain any or don’t you keep up? woof:)

    @ 9:39 am on August 21, 2008
  56. Dear Mr. Schwartz:

    What, “Seth” is supposed to be able to reach you during the half hour you’re actually at the office? If you really want him to be able to get a hold of you, you should have given him the phone number for the Highland Park Village Starbucks.

    (Just kidding! Don’t be so touchy.)

    @ 10:01 am on August 21, 2008
  57. May be I should add more o’s to make my point(looooose!). Loose fits the so called christian just fine. She starts her carear singing christian music, now she’s using sex to sell beer. She’s a role model for every young girl in the US.
    My friend was right. Spell one word wrong in each comment you leave and people remember your comment, you did.
    dittopup
    It didn’t help Cindy McCain’s half sister. Cindy’s father left his other daughter $10,000. According to Cindy she doesn’t have a sister. What a nice family.

    @ 10:31 am on August 21, 2008
  58. Hey A.Stewart, don’t be knockin the palms getting greased and you know you took drinks from the hotties. I tend bar and that’s the way it’s played. I see all kinds of pimpin goin on from all the big boys that’s why I stay away from you corporate sharks.

    @ 10:33 am on August 21, 2008
  59. monkey devil…you surely are one of the “mean girls” aren’t you? Drop the pretense that you care about Christian anything cause you reek hatred. There’s a lot of crossover music all over. And Beauty sells, period. If you spend any money at all in perfecting your outer image to hide that cold interior, don’t deny it. (Did your boyfriend dump you for Jessica in high school)?

    @ 10:44 am on August 21, 2008
  60. My boyfriend and I tried the beer out last night and it was awesome!Love the quote on the bottle too! Hope this is the next Shiner Boch and beyond!

    @ 11:16 am on August 21, 2008
  61. Keep telling yourself that. When is the last time she did something that had quality behind it and dating famus people doesn’t count. The name monkey god has nothing to do with christianity, try hindu. I never saw Amy Grant sell beer or do a music video in a swimm suit but she had staying power.

    @ 11:20 am on August 21, 2008
  62. Ladies and Gents! Retract the fangs! Haha – hope ya’ll aren’t that mean to everyone you deal with! Anyways,Last night we went to Milo’s and they have Stampede Light all day, all night, every day for 2$! The bar tender said they have been selling out and we helped them empty the rest last night!!! Best part was no hangover! Picking up a case today for the weekend! Where can I get it? Jessica is on to something!

    @ 11:22 am on August 21, 2008
  63. Who’s Amy Grant?

    @ 11:24 am on August 21, 2008
  64. You’re so right SMUlaw – these meanies got the focus off the real great news. And…the beer IS good. I’m off now to save Roseanne Barr from the hate blogs she’s getting for her endorsements. oh wait…she doesn’t have any. Well you get the point!

    @ 11:28 am on August 21, 2008
  65. We carry the beer at our store. Our clientele enjoys the samplings and product. Should be a best of Big D. Its been outselling Michelob for a couple of months now.

    @ 12:07 pm on August 21, 2008
  66. No hangover! Are you drinkig beer or water?

    @ 12:12 pm on August 21, 2008
  67. Um…beer (see aforementioned news title and references)

    @ 12:18 pm on August 21, 2008
  68. What makes it different than other beers? Don’t say it has vitamins, all beer has vitamins. Don’t say it’s good for your because the government wouldn’t allow that on the beer’s label.

    @ 12:41 pm on August 21, 2008
  69. I’m a BA for the beer and Stampede Light Plus has 256 percent more B-Vitamins than other beers.The guy that invented it also invented the idea of “light” beer. His name is Dr. Owades.I don’t think anyone would make the claim that it’s “good for you” so don’t know where you got that but it is a better choice. Just as Vitamin water, wheat bread over white bread, etc.

    Xoxo,

    Crissy

    @ 1:39 pm on August 21, 2008
  70. I got that idea from a little magazine called Forbes.

    @ 1:59 pm on August 21, 2008
  71. Yes,we were featured in Forbes and in FORTUNE. We’ve also been featured in Maxim, Muscle and Fitness, the Dallas Morning News TASTE feature (to name a few) and my favorite…D MAGAZINE!

    As I’m sure you’re aware, you can’t believe everything you read Monkey Boy! If you need straight-to-the-source info about the beer, head to the website (www.stampedebeer.com).

    XOXO,

    Crissy

    @ 2:15 pm on August 21, 2008
  72. Yes, and that site would be objective. If you new the info was out there then why did you ask where I got it. You might go to the newest blog posting on this site. Looks like your PR work is needed there since it’s on the front page

    @ 2:41 pm on August 21, 2008
  73. Not as bad as you need a dictionary

    @ 3:05 pm on August 21, 2008
  74. Hey monkey god, glad you are picking on someone else but I’m afraid Carlo is right – you’re busted a 3rd time for spelling! It’s spelled knew, not “new”. Just curious, does Hindu teach you to pray for the failure of a business? You sure do seem to have a lot of animosity brewing here.

    @ 3:35 pm on August 21, 2008
  75. @ 3:59 pm on August 21, 2008
  76. 4forsure
    You should’ve busted me on all comments for one spelling error. I’ve already explained the bit, it works.

    @ 4:24 pm on August 21, 2008
  77. Well monkey dog I would also remember you if you came out of the restroom with toilet paper stuck in your pants but that doesn’t mean it would be good. But keep telling yourself it’s working, we’ll play along because you clearly are having a bad day being busted and bounced all over the place. In summary, you got told.

    @ 5:10 pm on August 21, 2008
  78. I don’t see you coming to the side of Simpson on the latest 2 blog post on this site. Looks like some girl thought her picture made her look fat and had it pulled. I have no real issue with Simpson or the beer. I do enjoy arguing, it’s a illness I have and my wife doesn’t like to argue. Then again you thought I was a chick.

    @ 6:13 pm on August 21, 2008
  79. uh, monkey god, devil, chick, dude, playground bully, bad speller, democrat, whatever….we’re tired of you. But now we know why you spend so much time here. (And anyone calling Jessica fat is reaching). Your poor wife. You at least helped Stampede’s sales today – just bought some and am toasting you now. mmmm mmmmm good!

    @ 6:26 pm on August 21, 2008
  80. dittopup
    Never said she was fat. Guess your to buzy getting drunk to read. There must be some reason Simpson’s lawyers had the photo pulled.

    @ 9:58 pm on August 21, 2008
  81. Monkey doo, read your comment “some girl thought her picture made her look fat”. That’s what I was addressing so again you’re off base but you think everything centers around you. Looks like you need to find someone else to feed your self referenced “illness” cause I’m outta here.

    @ 9:32 am on August 22, 2008
  82. LOL- If all of these people despise Jessica and the beer guy so much how come you’ve been obsessed about blogging about it for the past two days – 70+ blog comments sure means someone cares! :)

    @ 10:22 am on August 22, 2008
  83. TomA
    I guess you haven’t read the lastest blog post on this site. Hope her beer deal doesn’t end up like her blue jean deal. I’m waiting for the first picture of her drinking a Bud.

    @ 1:01 pm on August 22, 2008
  84. Why? Why would you be waiting for a picture like that? Do you want to see her shave her head like Britney too? Talk about showing pleasure in beating someone up – geez, lots of enemies in this town. They’re beating on Michael Phelps for signing with Corn Flakes over Wheaties too so I guess no one is immune from the meanies!

    @ 4:02 pm on August 22, 2008
  85. Hey Jenn- be refreshed! I was getting a pedicure today and overheard two chicks talking sweet about the whole Jessica deal. Granted they probably aren’t from here because they were being nice (and they were cute too!) but at least there’s hope for waking the Dallas dead. Since when did couth go out of style?

    @ 6:10 pm on August 22, 2008
  86. I saw the infamous poster today at the beer store – all of you who slammed the pic need glasses or counseling. She’s gorgeous! What were they suppose to do, sign Roseanne Barr? SMART indeed Stampede!!!

    @ 7:51 pm on August 22, 2008
  87. What did the beer company do, give you people 50 bucks and a script to read.

    @ 11:26 pm on August 22, 2008
  88. He Kexin, Guess if you ran a company, you would just sit there and twiddle your thumbs? This blog is so fun to see how some people have no business savvy. Even Viagra had to get their sales “up” with being remembered by using a well known face like Bob Dole. Say what you want, it worked.

    @ 8:23 am on August 23, 2008
  89. JAX
    If China and India keep growing commodity prices are going to keep rising. Small beer companies will be absorbed by larger ones or go out of business. These days hops and barley aren’t cheap.

    @ 11:08 am on August 23, 2008
  90. Just saw J.Simp driving the Stampede Light mobile billboard (ie their truck)- what a JOKE!

    @ 4:05 pm on August 23, 2008
  91. Was served the beer tthe Hottest half today! Yum! Good stuff! love D Magazine!

    @ 1:06 pm on August 24, 2008